Category: Parenting

Posted in Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting, teaching teens

10 Essential Financial Life Lessons—What to Teach Your Kids Before They Leave Home

Posted on by Tim Connolly
Teens looking at a phone

The moment you have dreaded has finally arrived. Your baby is leaving the nest. Some of the most valuable lessons you can impart should be shared right now, before they head out into the world.

In case you need help picking some wisdom to pass on, we’ve asked top money managers and financial pros to weigh in with their favorite lessons of teaching teens about money you should share with your child. You might learn a little something, too!

Lesson #1: Understand Debt

It’s important to understand what student loans and other debts will really cost, both today and in the long run. Catey Hill, author of the upcoming book “The 30-Minute Money Plan for Moms: How to Maximize Your Family Budget in Minimal Time,” suggests using real examples with dollar amounts to demonstrate. She says, “Bankrate has a calculator that shows what paying the minimum looks like. Use the cost of anything that might be relatable to your teen, then plug those numbers into Bankrate’s calculator to show how expensive an item can get when you pay just the minimum.”

Lesson #2: Know What You Expect to Earn Before You Borrow

When weighing whether or not to take out a loan to pay for school, College Ave Student Loans CEO and cofounder Joe DePaulo suggests that you think about the type of career you see in your future. “It’s okay if you’re not exactly sure what you want to do yet, but having an idea of your future earning potential will help you avoid over-borrowing now,” he says. “It’s a general rule of thumb not to borrow more for school than you expect to make in the first year of your professional career.”

Lesson #3:  Save, Save, and Save Some More

Save what you can, and make saving a habit by revisiting your spending and savings goals each month. David Osborn, entrepreneur and coauthor of “Wealth Can’t Wait,” says that by simply mastering the art of saving and investing, you could end up with a fortune. If you don’t understand money instinctively, Osborn suggests making it a priority to learn about wealth by reading or listening to roughly four books per year about investing. “Learning consistently leads to greatness over time,” he says. “Think of your extra dollars as employees, and if you put them to work for you, they will one day pay you all you need to live and more.”

Lesson #4: Set It and Forget It

Automating saving can lead to successful saving. Chad Parks, CEO of Ubiquity Retirement + Savings, suggests using a digital platform that saves for you so you don’t have to think about it. “One of my favorites is Digit.co, which analyzes your bank account and spending patterns,” he says. “The software looks at your daily checking account balance, learns your spending habits, and automatically moves small funds to your Digit account to increase savings. The amounts vary depending on your checking balance and spending habits for that day/week/month.”

Lesson #5: Learn How to Cut Back

If at any point you realize that finances are tighter than expected, conduct an assessment and see where adjustments can be made. Jared Kaplan, CEO of OppLoans.com, recommends that you “create a chart and total your income and expenses and compare them. If you spent more than you made, that’s a clear red flag.” Once you understand the inflow and outflow, you can figure out where to cut by separating wants from needs.

Lesson #6: Plan for the Unexpected

At school and beyond, be prepared for things to cost more than you planned. DePaulo recommends looking for ways to manage your spending to keep costs down.  “Borrow instead of buying school textbooks, maximize your pre-paid dining plan instead of eating off campus, and plan for one extra trip home each semester,” he says. “Finally, get advice from current college students to find out how much they are spending on extracurricular activities, school supplies, going out with friends, and more so you can create a realistic budget.”

Lesson #7: Make Your Bank Work for You

Today’s banks do a lot more than they did “back in our day.” Parks recommends the online bank Simple. “Simple has single-handedly changed my spending behavior and offers two savings features—Goals and Safe-to-Spend,” he said. “Goals allow me to save for anything, from my upcoming trip to Maui to my student loan payment, by auto-transferring money each day to the Goals. My money is still in my checking account (Simple does not make you open a traditional savings account), but when I look at my account, I just see a Safe-to-Spend balance, which excludes funds in my Goals.”

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, money management, Parenting, teaching teens, Uncategorized

School’s Out: How to Teach Your Kids from Home

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Juggling education and employment can be really difficult. Let alone someone else’s education, and your own employment. In the past few weeks, many parents have found themselves having to teach their children from home. All while holding down a full-time job remotely. 

So for those of you who are suddenly faced with the role of full-time worker and part-time educator, I hope this week’s post will provide a helping hand. 

My aim is to use the skills to help carers figure out how best to teach their children, and my own experience in teaching to figure out what to teach them.

How to teach  

1. Intentions

My first step is to find the “why” behind the lesson. To ask myself: what is it that I hope to achieve? 

Specific aims tend to work best. Non-specific ones, such as “improve Maths skills” or “get better at English” are too vague. They’re difficult to measure, so can leave both parties feeling frustrated. 

Instead, I prefer to set really precise goals, which can be achieved in an hour or less. Something like: understanding a specific extract of literature, or getting to grips with a single math problem. 

I have found that, when teaching, building confidence is just as important as building knowledge. It’s better to go slow and achieve mastery, than race through and leave the student feeling lost or inadequate. 

2. Learning Styles 

In my experience, kids learn best from a place of curiosity, rather than a sense of obligation. But curiosity is deeply personal — what makes me curious might make you want to take a nap. 

This is where Learning Styles come in. In NLP, it is thought that people fall into three categories when it comes to processing the world: 

  • Visual — a preference for pictures and images; 
  • Auditory — a preference for sounds; 
  • Kinaesthetic — preference for touch, sensation or emotion. 

You can be more than one of these at the same time. In fact, I would argue that most people contain all three, in varying proportions. Also, a different preference can be dominant in different situations or moods. 

For example, I’m mostly Visual — I learn best when watching something rather than reading about it. If I was faced with the exact same information — one as a YouTube tutorial and another as a transcript — I would absorb much more from the tutorial. 

However, when I’m upset, I become highly Kinaesthetic — I like to feel comfy, and often find myself mindlessly stroking what I’m wearing, like a scarf or a jumper. 

Figuring out a student’s Learning Style is really key, in my experience, to teaching. There are two ingredients to teaching — information and delivery. Learning Style is a matter of delivery. By teaching in a child’s preferred Learning Style, you leave more of their energy free to focus on the information itself.  

Once you understand your child’s Learning Style, you can start to tailor the lessons accordingly. For example: 

  • A child with a Visual preference might benefit from illustrations, drawings, a whiteboard; 
  • Someone with Auditory preferences might enjoy conversation as a way of learning; 
  • If your kid has a Kinaesthetic preference, they might learn best through stories and anecdotes. 

By understanding Learning Styles, you can not only get your message across, but also understand how it will be received. 

3. The Four Stages of Learning

NLP teaches that, in any skill, people progress across four stages of competence: 

  • Unconscious Incompetence (i.e. you don’t know something, and you don’t know that this is the case)
  • Conscious Incompetence (i.e. you don’t know something, and you know that this is the case)
  • Conscious Competence (i.e. you know how to do something, but only if you actively think about it)
  • Unconscious Competence (i.e. you know how to do something, without even having to think about it)

Very young children bypass the Conscious phase of the Learning Cycle (they move directly from Unconscious Incompetence to Unconscious Competence). They do this by copying what they see, without needing to understand why they are doing it.

But as children grow older, and start learning more complex ideas, they start to experience the discomfort of Conscious Incompetence. This can lead to feelings of self-blame and shame, for not understanding things “well” or “quickly” enough. Over time, learning can become associated with negative emotions, and therefore be met with hostility. 

Everyone has thresholds in energy, which vary for different things. When I was learning how to drive, I found myself getting really tired after an hour-long lesson. My partner, who has been driving for over a decade now, was designated driver during our time travelling, and frequently drove for 6 or more hours per day. His only complaint was how much Taylor Swift I subjected him to. 

Children operate in the same way. They have thresholds for learning. Existing in the realm of Conscious Incompetence or Conscious Competence can take a lot of energy.  

By understanding the Learning Cycle, you can recognise zoning out or a lack of interest for what it is — your child is starting to reach their learning threshold. 

For subjects they are Unconsciously Competent in (for me this was English), children can learn for longer. For subjects in which they have Conscious Competence, the threshold may be as little as ten minutes. 

Either way, recognising this, without judgement, creates a positive learning experience. It will also make it much easier to return to the subject later. When faced with a child’s learning threshold, I have found that the best thing to do is to move on, and return to the subject later.

The “What” of Learning

Achievement 

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks a light in you.”

— Alexander Den Heijer, Nothing You Don’t Already Know

Personally, I have found that my happiness levels are higher on the days where I feel like I’ve “accomplished” something. But it can be hard to get a sense of achievement during the lockdown. 

For me, discovering the VIA Character Test has been instrumental in this (they also do a Young Person’s version). The VIA Test helps you discover your key strengths. When I do something towards one of them every day, I get a sense of accomplishment. 

Here’s a full list of ideas. And this is what I’ve been doing: 

  • One of my strengths is “Curiosity”, meaning that I love discovering new things and engaging with the world around me. This can be tricky right now, but there are ways around it. For example, I’ve been getting in touch with someone new on most days, to catch up and check in. I’ve also been trying a new exercise every day (YouTube is great for this). 
  • One of my other strengths is “Love of Learning”. This means that — you’ve guessed it. Learning new things is fun for me. This sounds like it could only be a good thing. But it can be negative too, in that, without sufficient mental stimulus, I get easily bored. So, every day during the lockdown, I’ve been trying to learn something new – by spending an hour or so reading about something that interests me, but I don’t know much about. 

You can apply this approach to both yourself and your kids. By understanding their strengths, and doing something to “feed” these every day, you can help them to achieve a sense of accomplishment, even during the lockdown. 

The Old and New 

Having no syllabus can be a great opportunity to experiment. Even when I was teaching curriculum subjects, I found that people responded best to a mixture of stimuli. So — a combination of something established, like English or Maths, plus something brand new — like Philosophy or Psychology —  in every lesson, achieved the best results. 

For example, if we were talking about Modernist Literature, we’d also learn about what was happening in the world of psychology at that time (hint: a lot) and how the two things were influencing each other. 

Mixing old and new within a topic is also a good way to provide a lesson that’s both stimulating and confidence-boosting. Re-hashing old ground helps a child feel confident that they are good at something, because they already “know” it. But keeping it fresh stops them from getting bored. 

So those are the two options that I would use: 

  1. If you’re working with a syllabus and/or exams haven’t been cancelled, mixing old information (the subject) with new (the context) can be great. 
  2. If you’re working outside a syllabus, then this is the perfect opportunity to mix curriculum subjects (Maths, Science) in maths particularly you can focus on using it to teach money management for children with other kinds of skills (Meditation, Positive Psychology). 

Which leads us to…

Helpful Links 

If you are feeling like you need a break, or would just like to keep your children occupied, here are some additional tools which might help: 

  • The app-based tuition agency, Sophia, have started offering all their services online.
  • Holly King-Mand has been offering free English lessons every day since the lockdown began
  • Udemy offers reasonably-priced online courses, including kids courses in Art, Yoga and Writing
  • Headspace does short meditations for kids

Conclusion 

The last comment I would make, from an perspective, is that learning is state dependent. In other words, the mental and emotional state of your children will influence how effectively they learn. 

So, without the pressure of outcomes, like exams and grades, this can become a really wonderful opportunity to re-frame their attitude towards learning. To create positive associations, and to encourage them to learn by following and exploring their own natural curiosity, rather than out of a sense of obligation. 

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting, teaching teens

Real-Life Lessons To Teach Your Kid At Home During The Pandemic

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Homeschooling during the pandemic has many of us struggling. While our teachers continue to go above and beyond providing resources and assignments, the message for us as parents is to just do what you can.

While some of us thrive on colour-coded schedules, others of us are finding the struggle all too real, in between work demands, our kids’ attitudes to homeschooling, and, oh yeah, our lack of a teaching degree. Don’t worry. This is not forever and your kids will catch up academically, if kitchen-table classes have been a fail.

We’ve compiled a list of real-life lessons your kids will actually enjoy:

1. Bake a cake

What happens to a solid fat (butter or coconut oil) when it’s heated? How do raising agents work? What happens to the batter after it spends time in the oven? As you make a cake with your kids, talk about the science behind the magic. You should also get them to do all the measuring and weighing of ingredients, so they’re working with fractions, weights and conversions. You could even have them prepare a grocery list for the ingredients, sticking to a budget.

Have them read the recipe and follow the step-by-step instructions. Then talk about the nutritional value of the ingredients you use: How apple sauce, bananas or carrots are better for you as sweeteners than just sugar; or how you can bump up the protein by with nuts or nut flours. Last part: Pure joy, as you savour the freshly baked end results.

Life skills: Being able to make food from scratch and budgeting

Academic skills: Home economics, chemistry, math, literacy, nutrition

Close up of family in the kitchen

2. Grow something edible

Nurture your kid’s green thumb by having them plant something in soil or sprout something on damp cotton. You can try fast-growing cress or mustard seeds, or seeds scooped from a fresh tomato, or even an old potato that’s started growing new roots in the bag. Cleaned-out yoghurt tubs or even empty toilet paper rolls make cheap and convenient pots for easy-to-grow seedlings like kale, mesclun mix and endive. Older kids can collect data every couple of days, about the growth and condition of the plants, then you can chat about important variables, like sunlight, shade and watering.

Life skills: Surviving the apocalypse (JK!) and gardening

Academic skills: Botany, environmental science, social studies

3. Learn to relax

So soccer fields, monkey bars and basketball courts are closed for business right now. But your kid can still do something with their excess energy and big emotions at home through yoga. All you need is a little floorspace to lay out a mat or folded blanket. To do a more formal kids’ yoga class, you’ll need internet access too, but really, the most important thing about yoga is learning how to breathe.

You can keep the at-home practice simple, having your kid lie down on the floor with their eyes closed, while you talk them through stretches or tightening and relaxing their muscles, from head to toe. Encourage them to take slower and deeper breaths, with their hand on their belly, so they can feel their abdomen rise and fall. Older kids might enjoy learning about the origins and history of yoga too. Here’s a great resource that explains the basics.

Life skills: Emotional regulation, coordination, self-discipline

Academic skills: Phys. ed., health sciences, world religions, geography

“Audiobooks give us the opportunity to listen to a story together, and they take the monotony out of tasks such as folding laundry.”

4. Drop off donations at a shelter or food bank ― or help a neighbour

With so many people in our communities experiencing income loss and food and housing insecurity right now, a hands-on lesson in human kindness is probably the most valuable thing we can give our kids. Chat with your children about how the pandemic is affecting more vulnerable people, in age-appropriate ways, then do some research together, either online or by picking up the phone, to see how you can help.

You could have your kids earn money doing extra chores to buy things to give to the charity of their choice, financial education for kids plays a very important role in building up their confidence, . Or you could get involved with a grassroots neighbourhood group that supports frontline health workers, by walking their dogs and dropping off prepared meals. Maybe your kids can check in on a senior on your street who lives alone by videochat, and then chat or play a game together, to break their isolation. There are so many ways to help!

Life skills: Serving others, budgeting and community-mindedness

Academic skills: Research and math (high-school kids could get their volunteer hours too)

Get them started young.

5. Fold laundry together while listening to a podcast or audiobook

With all of the additional demands and ongoing stress of the pandemic, sometimes we are beyond exhausted, and reading to our kids or persuading them to read a book might just feel like one thing too much. Audiobooks give us the opportunity to listen to a story together and they take the monotony out of tasks such as folding laundry, turning them into moments for bonding.

Sites like Audible currently offer a selection of kids books that can be streamed for free, as do many public libraries. It’s fun to chat afterwards about what you listened to together. Consider things like how the details of the story were revealed, what the surprises were and what you both thought of the main characters.

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting

Helping Children with Learning Disabilities

Posted on by Tim Connolly

When it comes to learning disabilities, look at the big picture

All children need love, encouragement, and support, and for kids with learning disabilities, such positive reinforcement can help ensure that they emerge with a strong sense of self-worth, confidence, and the determination to keep going even when things are tough.

In searching for ways to help children with learning disabilities, remember that you are looking for ways to help them help themselves. Your job as a parent is not to “cure” the learning disability, but to give your child the social and emotional tools they need to work through challenges. In the long run, facing and overcoming a challenge such as a learning disability can help your child grow stronger and more resilient.

Always remember that the way you behave and respond to challenges has a big impact on your child. A good attitude won’t solve the problems associated with a learning disability, but it can give your child hope and confidence that things can improve and that they will eventually succeed.

Tips for dealing with your child’s learning disability

Keep things in perspective. A learning disability isn’t insurmountable. Remind yourself that everyone faces obstacles. It’s up to you as a parent to teach your child how to deal with those obstacles without becoming discouraged or overwhelmed. Don’t let the tests, school bureaucracy, and endless paperwork distract you from what’s really important—giving your child plenty of emotional and moral support.

Become your own expert. Do your own research and keep abreast of new developments in learning disability programs, therapies, and educational techniques. You may be tempted to look to others—teachers, therapists, doctors—for solutions, especially at first. But you’re the foremost expert on your child, so take charge when it comes to finding the tools they need in order to learn.

Be an advocate for your child. You may have to speak up time and time again to get special help for your child. Embrace your role as a proactive parent and work on your communication skills. It may be frustrating at times, but by remaining calm and reasonable, yet firm, you can make a huge difference for your child.

Remember that your influence outweighs all others. Your child will follow your lead. If you approach learning challenges with optimism, hard work, and a sense of humor, your child is likely to embrace your perspective—or at least see the challenges as a speed bump, rather than a roadblock. Focus your energy on learning what works for your child and implementing it the best you can.

Focus on strengths, not just weaknesses

Your child is not defined by their learning disability. A learning disability represents one area of weakness, but there are many more areas of strengths. Focus on your child’s gifts and talents. Your child’s life—and schedule—shouldn’t revolve around the learning disability. Nurture the activities where they excel, and make plenty of time for them.

Recognizing a learning disorder

By understanding the different types of learning disorders and their signs, you can pinpoint the specific challenges your child faces and find a treatment program that works.

Helping children with learning disabilities tip 1: Take charge of your child’s education

In this age of endless budget cuts and inadequately funded schools, your role in your child’s education is more important than ever. Don’t sit back and let someone else be responsible for providing your child with the tools they need to learn. You can and should take an active role in your child’s education.

If there is demonstrated educational need, the school is required by law to develop an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) that delivers some educational benefit, but not necessarily one that maximizes student achievement. Parents who want the best for their kids may find this standard frustrating.

Understanding special education laws and your school’s guidelines for services will help you get the best support for your child at school. Your child may be eligible for many kinds of accommodations and support services, but the school might not provide services unless you ask for them.

Tips for communicating with your child’s school:

Being a vocal advocate for your child can be challenging. You’ll need superior communication and negotiation skills, and the confidence to defend your child’s right to a proper education.

Clarify your goals. Before meetings, write down what you want to accomplish. Decide what is most important, and what you are willing to negotiate.

Be a good listener. Allow school officials to explain their opinions. If you don’t understand what someone is saying, ask for clarification. “What I hear you saying is…” can help ensure that both parties understand.

Offer new solutions. You have the advantage of not being a “part of the system,” and may have new ideas. Do your research and find examples of what other schools have done.

Keep the focus. The school system is dealing with a large number of children; you are only concerned with your child. Help the meeting stay focused on your child. Mention your child’s name frequently, don’t drift into generalizations, and resist the urge to fight larger battles.

Stay calm, collected and positive. Go into the meeting assuming that everyone wants to help. If you say something you regret, simply apologize and try to get back on track.

Don’t give up easily. If you’re not satisfied with the school’s response, try again.

Recognize the limitations of the school system

Parents sometimes make the mistake of investing all of their time and energy into the school as the primary solution for their child’s learning disability. It is better to recognize that the school situation for your child will probably never be perfect. Too many regulations and limited funding mean that the services and accommodations your child receives may not be exactly what you envision for them, and this will probably cause you frustration, anger and stress.

Try to recognize that the school will be only one part of the solution for your child and leave some of the stress behind. Your attitude (of support, encouragement and optimism) will have the most lasting impact on your child.

Tip 2: Identify how your child learns best

Everyone—learning disability or not—has their own unique learning style. Some people learn best by seeing or reading, others by listening, and still others by doing. You can help a child with a learning disability by identifying their primary learning style.

Is your child a visual learner, an auditory learner, or a kinesthetic learner? Once you’ve figured out how they learn best, you can take steps to make sure that type of learning is reinforced in the classroom and during home study. The following lists will help you determine what type of learner your child is.

Is your child a visual learner?

If your child is a visual learner, they:

  • Learn best by seeing or reading
  • Do well when material is presented and tested visually, not verbally
  • Benefit from written notes, directions, diagrams, charts, maps, and pictures
  • May love to draw, read, and write; are probably a good speller

Is your child an auditory learner?

If your child is an auditory learner, they:

  • Learn best by listening
  • Do well in lecture-based learning environments and on oral reports and tests
  • Benefit from classroom discussions, spoken directions, study groups
  • May love music, languages, and being on stage

Is your child a kinesthetic learner?

If your child is a kinesthetic learner, they:

  • Learn best by doing and moving
  • Do well when they can move, touch, explore, and create in order to learn
  • Benefit from hands-on activities, lab classes, props, skits, and field trips
  • May love sports, drama, dance, martial arts, and arts and crafts

Tip 3: Think life success, rather than school success

Success means different things to different people, but your hopes and dreams for your child probably extend beyond good report cards. Maybe you hope that your child’s future includes a fulfilling job and satisfying relationships, for example, or a happy family and a sense of contentment.

The point is that success in life—rather than just school success—depends, not on academics, but on things like a healthy sense of self, the willingness to ask for and accept help, the determination to keep trying in spite of challenges, the ability to form healthy relationships with others, and other qualities that aren’t as easy to quantify as grades and exam scores.

A 20-year study that followed children with learning disabilities into adulthood identified the following six “life success” attributes. By focusing on these broad skills, you can help give your child a huge leg up in life.

Learning disabilities and success #1: Self-awareness and self-confidence

For children with learning disabilities, self-awareness (knowledge about strengths, weaknesses, and special talents) and self-confidence are very important. Struggles in the classroom can cause children to doubt their abilities and question their strengths.

  • Ask your child to list their strengths and weaknesses and talk about your own strengths and weaknesses with your child.
  • Encourage your child to talk to adults with learning disabilities and to ask about their challenges, as well as their strengths.
  • Also this is the right time to start teaching kids about money for their better future decisions.
  • Work with your child on activities that are within their capabilities. This will help build feelings of success and competency.
  • Help your child develop their strengths and passions. Feeling passionate and skilled in one area may inspire hard work in other areas too.

Learning disabilities and success #2: Being proactive

A proactive person is able to make decisions and take action to resolve problems or achieve goals. For people with learning disabilities, being proactive also involves self-advocacy (for example, asking for a seat at the front of the classroom) and the willingness to take responsibility for choices.

  • Talk with your learning disabled child about problem solving and share how you approach problems in your life.
  • Ask your child how they approach problems. How do problems make them feel? How do they decide what action to take?
  • If your child is hesitant to make choices and take action, try to provide some “safe” situations to test the water, like choosing what to make for dinner or thinking of a solution for a scheduling conflict.
  • Discuss different problems, possible decisions, and outcomes with your child. Have your child pretend to be part of the situation and make their own decisions.

Learning disabilities and success #3: Perseverance

Perseverance is the drive to keep going despite challenges and failures, and the flexibility to change plans if things aren’t working. Children (or adults) with learning disabilities may need to work harder and longer because of their disability.

  • Talk with your child about times when they persevered—why did they keep going? Share stories about when you have faced challenges and not given up.
  • Discuss what it means to keep going even when things aren’t easy. Talk about the rewards of hard work, as well as the opportunities missed by giving up.
  • When your child has worked hard, but failed to achieve their goal, discuss different possibilities for moving forward.

Learning disabilities and success #4: The ability to set goals

The ability to set realistic and attainable goals is a vital skill for life success. It also involves the flexibility to adapt and adjust goals according to changing circumstances, limitations, or challenges.

  • Help your child identify a few short- or long-term goals and write down steps and a timeline to achieve the goals. Check in periodically to talk about progress and make adjustments as needed.
  • Talk about your own short- and long-term goals with your child, as well as what you do when you encounter obstacles.
  • Celebrate with your child when they achieve a goal. If certain goals are proving too hard to achieve, talk about why and how plans or goals might be adjusted to make them possible.

Learning disabilities and success #5: Knowing how to ask for help

Strong support systems are key for people with learning disabilities. Successful people are able to ask for help when they need it and reach out to others for support.

  • Help your child nurture and develop good relationships. Model what it means to be a good friend and relative so your child knows what it means to help and support others.
  • Demonstrate to your child how to ask for help in family situations.
  • Share examples of people needing help, how they got it, and why it was good to ask for help. Present your child with role-play scenarios that might require help.

Learning disabilities and success #6: The ability to handle stress

If children with learning disabilities learn how to regulate stress and calm themselves, they will be much better equipped to overcome challenges.

  • Use words to identify feelings and help your child learn to recognize specific feelings.
  • Ask your child the words they would use to describe stress. Does your child recognize when they are feeling stressed?
  • Encourage your child to identify and participate in activities that help reduce stress like sports, games, music, or writing in a journal.
  • Ask your child to describe activities and situations that make them feel stressed. Break down the scenarios and talk about how overwhelming feelings of stress and frustration might be avoided.

Recognizing stress in your child

It’s important to be aware of the different ways in which stress can manifest. Your child may behave very differently than you do when they are under stress. Some signs of stress are more obvious: agitation, trouble sleeping, and worries that won’t shut off. But some people—children included—shut down, space out, and withdraw when stressed. It’s easy to overlook these signs, so be on the lookout for any behavior that’s out of the ordinary.

Tip 4: Emphasize healthy lifestyle habits

It may seem like common sense that learning involves the body as well as the brain, but your child’s eating, sleep, and exercise habits may be even more important than you think. If children with learning disabilities are eating right and getting enough sleep and exercise, they will be better able to focus, concentrate, and work hard.

Exercise – Exercise isn’t just good for the body, it’s good for the mind. Regular physical activity makes a huge difference in mood, energy, and mental clarity. Encourage your learning disabled child to get outside, move, and play. Rather than tiring out your child and taking away from schoolwork, regular exercise will actually help them stay alert and attentive throughout the day. Exercise is also a great antidote to stress and frustration.

Sleep – Learning disability or not, your child is going to have trouble learning if they are not well rested. Kids need more sleep than adults do. On average, preschoolers need from 11-13 hours per night, middle school children need about 10-11 hours, and teens and preteens need from 8½-10 hours.

You can help make sure your child is getting the sleep they need by enforcing a set bedtime. The type of light emitted by electronic screens (computers, televisions, iPods and iPads, portable video players, etc.) is activating to the brain. So you can also help by powering off all electronics at least an hour or two before lights out.

Diet – A healthy, nutrient rich diet will aid your child’s growth and development. A diet full of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean protein will help boost mental focus. Be sure your child starts the day with a good breakfast and doesn’t go more than 4 hours between meals or snacks. This will help keep their energy levels stable.

Encouraging healthy emotional habits

In addition to healthy physical habits, you can also encourage children to have healthy emotional habits. Like you, they may be frustrated by the challenges presented by their learning disability. Try to give them outlets for expressing their anger, frustration, or feelings of discouragement. Listen when they want to talk and create an environment open to expression. Doing so will help them connect with their feelings and, eventually, learn how to calm themselves and regulate their emotions.

Tip 5: Take care of yourself, too

Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is remembering to take care of you. It’s easy to get caught up in what your child needs, while forgetting your own needs. But if you don’t look after yourself, you run the risk of burning out. It’s important to tend to your physical and emotional needs so that you’re in a healthy space for your child.

You won’t be able to help your child if you’re stressed out, exhausted, and emotionally depleted. When you’re calm and focused, on the other hand, you’re better able to connect with your child and help them be calm and focused too.

Your spouse, friends, and family members can be helpful teammates if you can find a way to include them and learn to ask for help when you need it.

Tips for taking care of your self

Keep the lines of communication open with your spouse, family, and friends. Ask for help when you need it.

Take care of yourself by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

Join a learning disorder support group. The encouragement and advice you’ll get from other parents can be invaluable.

Enlist teachers, therapists, and tutors whenever possible to share some responsibility for day-to-day academic responsibilities.

Learn how to manage stress in your own life. Make daily time for yourself to relax and decompress.

Communicate with family and friends about your child’s learning disability

Some parents keep their child’s learning disability a secret, which can, even with the best intentions, look like shame or guilt. Without knowing, extended family and friends may not understand the disability or think that your child’s behavior is stemming from laziness or hyperactivity. Once they are aware of what’s going on, they can support your child’s progress.

Within the family, siblings may feel that their brother or sister with a learning disability is getting more attention, less discipline and preferential treatment. Even if your other children understand that the learning disability creates special challenges, they can easily feel jealous or neglected. Parents can help curb these feelings by reassuring all of their children that they are loved, providing homework help, and by including family members in any special routines for the child with a learning disability.

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting

TEN FUN WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MANAGE MONEY –FROM TODDLERS TO TEENS

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Money management for children is an important skill that many parents don’t know how to pass on to children. Many teenagers leave home for university or college unable to budget and make their student loan last for a whole term. With mounting student debts, it’s important to help your child learn to manage their money before they leave home.

When you think about it, your job as a parent is to make yourself redundant. By the time your child leaves home, you need to give them all the skills to care for themselves and lead happy fulfilling lives. And that includes helping your child to be financially independent.

Often money is a taboo subject in families, like the topics of death or sex. Particularly the amount Mum or Dad earns in their job. Or what they spend their money on. However, there is a bigger issue here – if your child doesn’t understand the way money works, they will struggle to be financially secure.

When you think about it, it’s not very fair to expect a child to manage their own money when they have never before had to budget, pay a bill, pay for a weekly shop, or been taught the dangers of getting into debt.

If you are lucky enough to have a good income, your child may not be familiar with the idea of bargain hunting, saving and budgeting. Many families feel fortunate that they don’t have to scrimp and save like their parents, and feel they are doing their children a favour by providing everything they need and want.

Couple this with the increase in guilt parents feel as they work long hours, and children are learning that money management is simply a matter of persuading parent to part with their cash! If your child grows up and gets everything they want without earning it, you are teaching them to feel ‘entitled.’

Learning about money will make your child feel more empowered and in control of their lives. They will learn at an early age that they can earn the money they need. And if they learn basic money principles, it can also make it less likely that your child will need to rely on the ‘bank of mum and dad’ when they leave home.

Money management for children should start when they’re toddlers. I remember my son at the age of three and four used to love to go to the shop and buy a packet of sweets with 50p because he left the shop with not only the sweets but in his mind, more ‘money’ than he went into the shop with.

So how do you teach your child about money? Here are my top ten tips for children of different ages to learn how to be good with money.

Ten fun ways to teach Toddlers about money

  1. Bargain hunting. Take them to a car boot sale. Allow them to take £2 of their pocket money and see what bargains they can pick up.
  2. Help them to learn about banks. Go to the bank and hold your toddler in your arms and explain what you are doing – get your toddler to hand over any money or cheques
  3. Have a savings account. Set up an account for your toddler. Help him to put money in and show him how he or she earns ‘extra’ money in interest.
  4. Make up fun money challenges. Give your child a handful of change and challenge them to add up the value of all the coins. Can your child find the right change to pay for something in a shop?
  5. Set up good spending habits. Give pocket money in cash. Have rules about how it can be spent. For instance, a good strategy is to put 50% into savings, 10% into a charity fund and 40% can be spent. Go with your child to put the money into the savings account. And let your child choose a suitable charity for the charity fund.
  6. Encourage them to earn. All children – even toddlers- should be encouraged to do some jobs around the home for love. However, they should also be able to earn extra money by doing additional jobs at home. Make a fun chart with photos, which they can decorate, of jobs and the money they can earn.
  7. Show them how to save. If your toddler wants something, encourage them to save up for it. Startup a fund in a jar.
  8. Encourage them to pay for things. When you are in shops encourage your child to pay for items, and check the change.
  9. Read books about money to your toddler such as Daniel Britton’s Financial Fairy Tales.
  10. Play games that help your child learn about money. Get them to set up a shop or play games such as Learning Resources’ Money Bags Coin Value Game, My First UK Money Snap or Orchard Toys’ Pop to the Shops

Top 10 Tips for Children aged 5-12

  1. Teach money management. Although you may find balancing the family budget boring, children don’t! Get your child to help you check the money you’ve paid with the credit card bill or your bank account. Show them the bills that arrive – explain what they’re for – and get them to help you to ‘pay’ them.
  2. Budget ahead for a holiday or weekend away. Ask your child what ideas they have for boosting the fund. Keep the fund in a special account, and work out how much you need, and where the money is going to come from.
  3. Play guessing games. For instance, guess how much the family holiday costs. Get everyone to guess how much the holiday will cost. Keep a tally of all the costs- transport, accommodation, food, entertainment and all the extras. Award a certificate to the person who is the closest in their guess.
  4. Plan fun on a budget –give your child a challenge to plan a fun family day out for £10 or less. You will be amazed at how creative children can be when you give them a challenge to achieve.
  5. Keep a jar for small coins. Encourage your child to count these up and bag them up in £1 bags. Then take them to the bank and cash them for a family treat.
  6. Set your children a challenge. To boost their income for one month. Or perhaps to support a charity. They could do a car boot sale, washing cars, rake leaves, sweep snow, or sell their old things (maybe on e-bay?) Or could they come up with a creative idea for a mini business?
  7. Save on shopping. Calculate your shopping bill for a week. Ask your child to help you make a saving the following week. Go through the bill and see how you could make savings. Keep going if you can – and learn to do shopping cost comparisons, use coupons, find cheaper alternatives, etc.
  8. Work out where their money goes. Give your child 12 envelopes. One for each month of the year. Encourage your child to keep receipts of everything they spend their money on, then at the end of each month work out what they spent their money on. And how much they saved.
  9. Work out where to put their money. Get your child involved in researching the best savings account for children. Identify the criteria (interest rates, ease of access, bonuses etc.) and then move their savings to the best account they can find.
  10. Set up a banking system at home. Encourage your child to save their money and offer interest and ‘bonuses’ for good saving habits. Every so often transfer the money into their ‘proper’ savings account.

Tips for Teenagers (13-18)

  1. Project about money. Teenagers love to do things with you, especially if they are learning something new. Plan a project together to learn about money. Include topics like the dangers of borrowing and paying interest, the real cost of a loan, what APR and AER means, and the best saving account for children. You can include subjects like how to budget, budget sheets, credit vs debit cards. Your child will love spending extra time with you. And who knows, you may learn a thing or two!
  2. Make budgeting fun. Get your teenager to write down a list of everything they most want to have or do. Then get them to keep track of their money for a month – write down everything they spend in a notebook, and at the end of the month put it on a spreadsheet, in different categories. Ask them to identify ways they could earn more, and ways they could spend less. Startup a saving fund and encourage them to save for the thing they want most.
  3. Find out what they want in the future. Ask your child to tell you about the sort of house they want to live in, the sort of car they want to drive and if they want children, pets, holidays, etc. Challenge them to work out the cost of buying that house (deposit, mortgage repayments, hidden costs) the cost of the car including running costs. How much it costs to raise a child until they’re 21, keep a pet, etc. Then break it down into monthly costs. Work out the monthly cost, and then what their salary would have to be able to take home just to pay that amount. Then work out what career they might need to earn that salary. Do the same exercise for a one bedroomed flat and second-hand car.
  4. Offer a bonus for saving. Encourage your child to save 50% of all the money they receive through pocket money, earning, and gifts. Work out a challenging, yet achievable savings goal, and offer to give them a small bonus if they achieve that goal in a year.
  5. Boost their income. Challenge your teen to find fun ways to increase the money they earn each month. Could they run a car wash, babysit, help a neighbour clear a garage or garden shed, or mow lawns?
  6. Feed a family of four for £40. The next challenge is to buy all the food and drink for everyone in the family for a week for £10 per person. Keep a running total, and have a chat afterwards about what they learned.
  7. Dare your teen to wait a week every time they choose to make a purchase. When your child identifies what they want to spend their money on, ask them to wait a week before actually buying it. This will help your child develop will power and think carefully about the purchase. They may even change their mind before buying the item, which will be a powerful lesson in the value of waiting.
  8. Presents on a budget. Start a family tradition that cards should be hand-made and presents for birthdays and Christmas should cost a fiver. Help your child identify suitable presents such as hand-made sweets, a compilation CD with the recipients favourite songs, writing and framing a funny poem, hand painting a piece of crockery or framing a special photo. See how creative and inventive your child can be.
  9. Find a charity to support. Ask your teenager to work out whether they would prefer to support a charity that is local, national or international? Would it support children with terminal illnesses or special needs, tackle child slavery, help homeless people or support families in poorer countries? How would donations be put to best use? Research carefully to plan which charity to support. Then encourage your child to put aside 10% of the money they receive to help others.
  10. Make money with a fiver. Give your child £5, and see how much money they can make with it. Perhaps they could go to a car boot sale and sell their bargains on e-bay? Or buy a bucket, cloth and detergent and offer to clean cars? Could they make cakes or drinks to sell? Or make gifts or cards?
Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting, teaching teens

How Much Allowance to Give Your Kids

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Giving your kids an allowance is a smart idea. It’s never too soon to learn about financial education for kids. An allowance can also teach other important concepts, including:

  • Delayed gratification—saving for things they really want
  • Charity and helping others
  • Budgeting

But many parents have questions about how much to give, what to do about chores, and other allowance policies. Here is what experts recommend.

Determine How Much Allowance to Give

Calculating the right allowance amount really means thinking about what you expect your children to buy with their funds. If it’s simply extra spending money, then the allowance does not need to be very much, particularly for a younger child. But if you expect your child to pay for many of their own day-to-day expenses, then it should be higher.

When you’re making the decision, consider:

  • What your child is now spending on the things you will expect the allowance to cover (say, school lunches, clothing, and birthday gifts for friends).4
  • What your child’s peers are getting, if you know.
  • A base rate of one dollar per year of age every week or every other week. The idea is to have a formula that will slowly increase as your child gets older.
  • An amount that can be split into thirds: One-third for saving, one-third for spending, and one-third for charitable contributions.

Create Sensible Allowance Policies

As with any other family rule, set expectations about allowance from the beginning, and then stick to them. Give your children their allowance each and every week, whether or not they remember to ask for it. This helps them learn how to budget.

If they run out of funds before the next payday, don’t bail them out. Part of the point of an allowance is to learn how to prioritize and budget.4 Giving advances doesn’t help kids learn how to use their money carefully.

Encourage or require your child to set aside a certain amount each week for short-term and long-term savings and for charity.

Avoid Allowance Mistakes

Keep allowances working for you and your family by steering clear of these common mistakes.

  • Tying allowance to doing chores. If the allowance is associated with specific chores, kids can stop doing the chores and say they don’t want the money anymore. Keep regular chores separate from allowance (keep giving the allowance even if your child fails to do chores).
  • Instead, allow your child to earn money beyond allowance by doing extra chores—as long as regular chores are complete. Regular chores are just part of being a contributing member of the household.
  • Withholding your child’s allowance as a punishment. Take away privileges instead.
  • Doling out extra money. Don’t give your child money for extras in addition to giving an allowance. This means the allowance isn’t helping to teach financial responsibility.
  • Starting too late. Between five and seven years old, most kids are ready to start learning about money and understanding the concepts allowances teach.
Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, money management, Parenting, teaching teens

How Parents Can Raise a Good Child

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Many parents focus attention on their children’s grades and extracurricular activities, such as by making sure kids study, do their homework, and get to soccer practice or dance lessons prepared and on time. But all too often, we forget to put time and effort into nurturing another component of child success and development—one that is just as important, and perhaps even more essential, than good grades, awards, and trophies—being a good person.

It can be easy to forget the importance of countering the pervasive messages of instant gratification, consumerism, and selfishness prevalent in our society. If we want to raise children who are pleasant company and genuinely nice people, we can help guide our kids toward habits and behaviors that promote positive character traits like kindness, generosity, and empathy for those who are less advantaged or who need help.

Raising Your Children to Become Good People

As C.S. Lewis famously said, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” How can we raise a good child, one who will do the right thing, even when no one may see them do it, and when there may be no reward? While there is no guaranteed formula (if only!), here are some ways parents can build good character and help their child grow into a good person.

Nurture Empathy in Your Child

Emotional intelligence and empathy, or the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes and consider their feelings and thoughts, is one of the most fundamental traits in good people. Studies have shown that having a high emotional quotient—that is, being able to understand one’s own feelings, the feelings of others, having self-control, and being able to control one’s own emotions—is an important component of success in life.

To encourage empathy in your child, encourage your child to talk about her feelings and make sure she knows that you care about them. When a conflict occurs with a friend, ask her to imagine how her friend might be feeling and show her ways of managing her emotions and work positively toward a resolution.

Encourage Them to Lift Up Others

While stories about kids engaging in bullying and other bad behavior often make headlines, the truth is that many kids quietly perform good deeds in the ordinary course of their lives, whether it’s making a friend feel better when he’s down or pitching in at a community center. As you encourage positive behaviors such as doing something to make someone’s day better (even something as small as patting a friend on the shoulder when they’re sad), be sure to talk about what negative effects behaviors like gossiping or bullying have on both sides (both those who are bullied and those who do the bullying), and why and how it hurts people.

Teach Them to Volunteer

Whether your child helps an elderly neighbor by shoveling the sidewalk or helps you pack some canned goods into boxes for donation to family shelters, the act of volunteering can shape your child’s character, also teaching kids about money will help them to learn and think about the needs of those less fortunate than they are, and can feel proud of themselves for making a difference in others’ lives.

Don’t Reward Them for Every Good Behavior or Act of Kindness

An important thing to remember when encouraging kids to help others is to not reward them for every single good deed. That way, your child won’t associate volunteering with getting things for himself and will learn that feeling good about helping others will be in itself a reward. That’s not to say you shouldn’t occasionally take your child out for a special treat or give him a gift for helping others AND for working hard and studying hard; kids love encouragement and thrive on parents’ approval. An occasional reward is a great way to show him how thankful you are for the good things he does.

Teach Them Good Manners

Does your child routinely practice the fundamentals of good manners such as saying “Thank you” and “Please”? Does she speak in a polite manner to people and address elders as “Mr.” and Ms.”? Does she know how to greet people properly, and is she familiar with the basics of good table manners? Is she a gracious loser when she plays a game with friends? Remember that you are raising a person who will go out into the world and interact with others for the rest of her life. (And this little person, as she grows, will be at the dinner table with you and interacting with you every day until she leaves the nest.) You can play an important role in shaping how well-mannered your child will be.

Treat Them With Kindness and Respect

The most effective way to get kids to speak to you and to others in a respectful way and to interact with others in a nice manner is by doing exactly that yourself when you interact with your child. Think about how you speak to your child. Do you speak harshly when you’re not happy about something? Do you ever yell or say things that are not nice? Consider your own way of speaking, acting, and even thinking, and try to choose a friendly and polite tone and manner with your child, even when you are talking to him about a mistake or misbehavior.

Don’t Be Shy About Disciplining Your Child

Parents who hold back on giving children boundaries or firmly (but lovingly) correcting bad behavior may actually be harming their child with good intentions. Children who are not disciplined are unpleasant, selfish, and surprisingly unhappy.

Some of the many reasons why we need to discipline include the fact that children who are given clear rules, boundaries, and expectations are responsible, more self-sufficient, are more likely to make good choices and are more likely to make friends and be happy. As soon as you see behavior problems such as lying or backtalk, handle them with love, understanding, and firmness.

Teach Her How to Be Thankful

Teaching your child how to be grateful and how to express that gratitude is a key component of raising a good child. Whether it’s for a meal you’ve prepared for dinner or for a birthday gift from Grandma and Grandpa, teach your child to say thank you. For things like gifts for birthdays and holidays, be sure your child gets into the habit of writing thank you cards.

Give Them Responsibilities Around the House

When children have an expected list of age-appropriate chores to do at home, such as helping set the table or sweeping the floor, they gain a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. Doing a good job and feeling like they are contributing to the good of the household can make kids feel proud of themselves, and help them become happier.

Model Good Behavior

Consider how you interact with others, even when your child isn’t watching. Do you say “Thank you” to the checkout clerk at the market? Do you steer clear of gossip about neighbors or co-workers? Do you use a friendly tone when addressing waiters? It goes without saying that you directly influence how your children will be. If you want to raise a good child, conduct yourself in the way you want your child to act.

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting, teaching teens

Should You Charge Your Teen Rent?

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Many parents wonder whether it’s ever appropriate to charge a teenager rent. While you shouldn’t charge rent while your teen is attending high school, there may be times when becoming a landlord is appropriate. In fact, charging your teen rent might be the kindest thing you could do in some circumstances.

When to Charge Rent

As long as your teen is attending school full-time (whether it’s high school or college), don’t charge rent. But, don’t let him continue the free ride if he’s not furthering his education.

Here are a few examples of when you should expect your teen to contribute to his room and board:

  • Your 16-year-old drops out of high school and says he wants to get a job.
  • Your 17-year-old quits school and says he’d prefer to just get his GED.
  • Your 18-year-old wants to live at home after he graduates from high school. He plans to find a job, rather than go to college.
  • Your 19-year-old drops out of college after one semester.

Dangers of Not Charging Rent

There’s nothing wrong with allowing your teen or young adult to live at home for a few extra years while she earns money or gains the skills she needs to live on her own. But allowing her to live rent-free could be harmful to her—as well as your relationship. Here are a few dangers of not charging rent:

  • Your child will miss out on learning skills. Independent living teaches valuable life skills, ranging from financial education for kids to budgeting and self-discipline.The longer your teen delays paying rent, the longer it will take for her to gain those skills.
  • Your child’s emotional growth could be stunted. Independent living requires young people to face their fears, step outside their comfort zones, and deal with stress on their own. Charging rent could be instrumental in helping your child build mental strength.
  • Not charging rent could be taxing on your income. Helping your child out financially could be harmful to your nest egg. Many parents delay retirement or give up things so they can continue supporting their children beyond the age of 18.
  • You may fuel your child’s fantasy about independent living. If your teen doesn’t pay rent, he’ll be free to spend his money however he wants. He may buy expensive things that won’t be able to afford once he has to pay rent.
  • Your teen may grow more dependent on you. Your teen should be gaining independence over time. But as long as he’s living in your home rent-free, he may grow increasingly dependent on you to take care of him. He may doubt his ability to live on his own.

How Much to Charge

Research local rental advertisements to get a good idea about what your teen might pay for a one bedroom apartment. Charge a little bit less for his room and board in your home.

Decide what other expenses you’re going to make your teen responsible for paying. Car insurance, gas money, and entertainment are a few of the bills he could start to cover on his own.

Make sure he knows that he’ll have added expenses when he moves out. Utilities, cable, and groceries, for example, may be more expensive than he anticipates.

What to Do With the Money 

Some parents feel uncomfortable collecting rent from their children. They feel guilty about spending it or putting it in their own bank account.

If you don’t want to use the money for yourself, you could set the rent aside in a special account. Then, invest it into a retirement account for your teen or use it to help pay for your teen’s education if he decides to take classes at a later date.

But, you are certainly free to use the money however you want. Use it to cover your expenses, go on vacation, or save it up for retirement if you wish. 

Teach Money Lessons Early

It’s important to start teaching your teen valuable lessons about money as soon as possible. Assigning chores and giving an allowance at a young age will teach your child basic money skills.

As he grows older, make your child responsible to pay for some of his own clothing or his entertainment. Teach him about budgeting and assist him in setting aside money for savings. No matter how old your teen is, it’s never too late to start teaching him to be financially savvy.

When your teen pays rent, he’ll learn how to start being more responsible with his money. If he’s late on the rent, or he’s struggling to manage his money, turn his mistakes into learning opportunities.

With practice—and more guidance—he will be able to be successful at paying his own way when he’s on his own. Your goal should be to ensure that he’s able to be independent once he moves out of the house.

Establish Healthy Guidelines

If you’re going to charge your teen rent, establish some guidelines that will help you live together more comfortably. It’s important to ensure that your rent collection serves as a worthwhile practice for both you and your teen.

Create rules that will ensure your teen learns from the opportunity you’re giving him. Here are a few examples of expectations you might set:

  • We’ll review your budget together. Tell your teen he needs to sit down with you once a week to assess his budget. Help him figure out how much he needs to set aside to cover his bills.
  • Late rent will lead to interest charges. Allowing your teen to be late on the rent every month won’t do him any favors. Hold him accountable by charging interest—even if it’s only a few dollars. His next landlord likely won’t be as kind so it’s important to teach him to pay on time.
  • In six months I’ll help you find an apartment. Make sure you have an end goal in mind. If your teen thinks he can live with you forever, he might not save up any money to money to move out.

Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open with your teen. Talk about rent-related issues as they arise to prevent them from damaging your relationship.

Remember, that you are still in charge. So even when your teen pays rent, he doesn’t have the right to break your rules, behave disrespectfully, or do whatever he pleases. You still own your home or pay for your apartment, so you get to set the rules.

When used appropriately, collecting rent from your teen could enhance your relationship and may better prepare your teen for the future.

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting, teaching teens

How to Define and Explain the Economy to Kids

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Kids might ask, “What’s the economy?” when they hear it discussed on the news. They might hear that the economy is in good shape or bad shape, but they wonder what exactly that means.

It can be a difficult question for parents to answer, especially when the parents themselves don’t know what to make of the day-to-day economic news and how to teach kids about money. Luckily, you don’t have to be an expert economist to give children a basic understanding of the economy.

Provide an Overview

The economy is all about how money is made and spent in a set area—whether we’re talking about a local economy, a national economy, or a global economy. That includes the amount of money moving around the economy, where (or with whom) the money is accumulating, and the trends that influence how money moves around an economy.

Try starting with the basics, like how the economy is made up of buyers and sellers. Then, explain how each of us is both a buyer and a seller, it just depends on the circumstance at the time. For example, we use money to buy presents around the holidays, and food when we get hungry. We sell things when we need more money.

That can mean selling a car or a home. It can also mean selling our time or knowledge, like when a company needs work done or when someone is willing to pay for advice.

There are times when a lot of people have more money than they need to survive. When this happens, the economy is doing well. Just because the economy is doing well, that doesn’t mean that everyone is doing well.

But when a majority of the people in an economy aren’t stressed about money, then the economy is considered healthy. On the other hand, there are times when many people don’t have enough money to buy what they need. The economy is doing badly when this happens. 

Don’t Get Too Technical

Giving kids a detailed, textbook definition of “economy” is likely to make their eyes glaze over. Even adults might have to stifle a yawn if they were forced to sit down for a by-the-book explanation of the economy.

A better approach might be to discuss how the economy’s ups and downs affect your family and friends personally. You don’t want to get too technical, nor do you want to sound overly optimistic or pessimistic. But there are some examples you can give kids about how economic news takes effect in the real world:

  • A bad economy means we shouldn’t spend too much money right now. We should only buy the things we need and try to make our money last as long as we can until the economy gets better. 
  • In this good economy, most people can find a job, so they can afford to take their kids on vacation and buy necessities like food and a home.
  • The economy is bad right now, so it’s tough for many people to find a job. We need to sympathize with those who are struggling. They are trying their hardest to work, but they might not get a job until the economy turns around.
  • The price of something we want to buy is going up, so we have to decide whether we want to buy less of it or wait for the price to come back down.
  • Since the economy is good in our country, we have extra money that we can afford to send to countries with worse economies. We can help families there through the crisis by helping to buy food and build homes.

Watch Your Tongue 

Remember, it’s not just what you say to your child that’ll shape their understanding of the economy, but what they overhear when adults are talking to each other. Kids take all this in, so unless you’re very sure you’re alone, choose your words carefully.

If you aren’t careful about the way you discuss the economy, you could end up teaching your child that the economy is synonymous with stress. You’re balancing the good with the bad in the things you say to them directly, so make sure the same applies to your private conversations.

You don’t want the negatives to seem too devastating or harsh. For example, avoid saying things like “we might lose the house if this economy gets worse” or “I might lose my job because of the economy.”

You don’t want to shelter your child from your financial life, even if it’s less than perfect. But keep the conversations age-appropriate. Remember that children don’t have as much experience as adults.

So while the economy may go through a rough patch, and you may lose your job, you know that the economy goes through cycles, and you will get another job—make sure your child also understands that economic situations aren’t permanent.

Make It Real 

The best way for kids to grasp the meaning of the economy is to let them make financial transactions. Show your child how to earn money with an allowance. Teach them to save it, how to make a budget, and how to save up for big purchases. This helps them learn the importance of economic decision making well before they get their first job and start learning about economics in the real world.

Once your child has an allowance, get them set up with a savings account. They’ll need an account eventually, and it’s never too early to start saving. They’ll feel excited to do something as “grown-up” as going to the bank to set up the account. With the account opened, encourage them to set savings goals, and help them set up a realistic plan for reaching those goals.

Games such as Monopoly, Minecraft, and Stardew Valley feature economic systems that allow kids to have fun while seeing how an economy works. The games feature options to buy and sell, and the success of a player depends on their ability to balance short term gains with long-term goals, exercise restraint, and strategize how to make the most of the resources they have on hand. There are many other online games and board games that show kids how to manage money and resources, as well.

Keep It All in Context

The economy is both huge and hugely complicated. As mentioned at the top, most adults don’t even fully understand all the factors moving an economy on a day-to-day basis. Attempting to hide your gaps in knowledge or oversimplifying a concept could end up doing a disservice to your child.

Instead, cushion all conversations about the economy with comments about how there’s always more you can learn about the economy—but that good economists strive to have a balanced background of knowledge. Adults need to follow the economy and have a basic understanding of how it works, but it isn’t the only factor affecting society.

This presents an opportunity to bring up the importance of charity and empathy. Talk to your child about ways they’d like to see the world improve, and help them find ways they could donate a little of their allowance to contribute to that good cause. Better yet, see if there’s a way your child can use their resources to directly help someone.

Maybe they could buy and prepare food for a nearby homeless community or organize their classmates to help clean up a park. These acts help children learn that money and resources are useful for buying and selling things for personal benefit, but they can also be used to help uplift our neighbors—and improve the economy in the process.

Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Parenting, teaching teens

Your Child’s Fortune: 10 Tips to Teach Investing to Kids

Posted on by Tim Connolly

So how did Black Friday go for you? On the one hand, there is nothing like the lure of the Door buster: that ultimate big-screen buy or appliance prize that tempts people to line up by the hundreds, sometimes overnight, to get a shot at the booty.

But if your kids were watching, maybe you just gave them a double whammy lesson in financial foolishness. Not to be a Grinch, but unless you waited in line for the sake of having fun, the chances of coming out on top are formidable.

If you braved a 4-hour line for a $100 discount, you only made out $20 better compared to making $20 an hour at your day gig (not counting the pizza you ordered in line).

Let us say, as an example, that you still scored some deals on a 20-foot-tall electric Santa and a barn-sized HD TV. But did you put those goodies on your credit cards? And if so, what does this teach kids about living within their means?

The point, holiday shoppers, is this: While presents are fine and dandy for the holidays, maybe it is time to think outside the gift box. That is: What if you started your kids down the road to investment?

Get Started Now

It is never too early to start teaching kids about money . By learning as early as 3-years-old, children can grow up to become more financially prepared and savvy. When you think about it, the beginnings of saving start with the use of piggy banks.

Some piggy banks exist that transcend that admirable goal. Susan Beacham, the founder of Money Savvy Generation, trains kids in financial literacy with use of an exceedingly clever tool: a plastic piggy bank with four tummies. This piggy bank has four compartments for the priorities Ms. Beacham contends kids need to learn: save, spend, donate, and invest.

The goal as parents should be to raise children as adults. If children know how to save or invest like millionaires by the time they are 21 years old, they may not have the actual million dollars in hand, but they will have established good habits to make it happen in the future. Here are 10 best practices and tips parents should keep in mind.

  • Setting the Stage: From Saving to Investing: While saving is an easy way to begin a child’s financial journey, investment is the next necessary step in making money work. You should point out the difference between saving and investing, and go over the risks and rewards of each. Children should learn that they should not place all of their eggs in one basket. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) offers some helpful materials to use with children.
  • Keep It Simple and Speak Their Language: You should begin with the basics and not with relatively complicated concepts, such as the difference between an exchange traded fund (ETF) and a mutual fund, or how to short a stock. You should explain that investing is basically just a means of using money to create more money.
  • Teach With Stories: Kids (as well as adults) are hard-wired for stories. You should narrate your ideas of investing and involve them in your investing activities. You can describe your own saving and investing plans and explain why you are saving and what benefits you will secure in the long run.
  • Know Your Child’s Learning Style: You should tailor your lessons and explanations about saving and investing pursuant to how your child learns best. For instance, a visual learner will likely become bored with a conversation about investing. You should also employ different sources and methods to communicate, such as with the use of pictures, videos, smartphone applications, and narration.
  • “Game” the Market: You can start younger kids off by giving them a play money portfolio and tracking the results. Playing through online simulations can create a space for you and your child to openly discuss the rules of investing. If you are looking for an online tool, the SIFMA Foundation offers the Stock Market Game, which can be used with children in grades 4-12, and which works in conjunction with a smartphone app.
  • “Computer Game” the Market: Another way to take a fun route with teaching children how to save and invest is through true-life “gamification” of the stock market. The website Kapitall uses drag-and-drop features and eye-catching icons, and any resemblance between Kapitall’s user interface and a cool arcade diversion is neither a happy accident nor a random stab at novelty. The platform is the brainchild of video game entrepreneur Gaspard de Dreuzy (who has close to 20 years of experience in the field) and financial technologist Serge Kreiker, a former software engineer at Bloomberg L.P. It also features practice trading.
  • Buy a 10 Pack: Robert Johnson, President and CEO of the American College of Financial Services in the Philadelphia area, suggests parents give kids a portfolio of about ten stocks.6 You should pick one share each where some are dividend payers while others are not. This approach will teach children about compounding and investment yield, and will show them that investing in some of the best companies may not be the best investments to make.
  • Pique Their Interest in Compound Interest: The time it takes to compound an investment, and produce substantial returns, offers a real-world lesson in how money grows. Volatility is normal and knowing this, and investing through it, will keep emotions in check when investing at an older age.
    To make this understandable, you should teach kids how compound interest works by the “Rule of 72.” According to this rule, money doubles at a rate where 72 is divided by the percentage gain. So, if you are making 3% on your money annually, it will double in 24 years; that is, 72 divided by 3.
  • Do Not Forget Giving: Legendary investors like Warren Buffett believe deeply in giving—and not as an afterthought. When children receive cash gifts, they can be taught to put some of that amount in the bank and to donate some of it before spending.
  • Pass on Your Parents’ Gifts: As a parent, you can also pass along to your children any financial gifts your parents gave you. For instance, you can have them invest in stocks through a dividend reinvestment plan.