Parenting – Page 6 – Tim Connolly

Financial freedom, Kids, News & Updates, Parenting, teaching teens

14 Ways to Teach Kids About Money

Posted on June 16, 2020June 16, 2020 by Tim Connolly

You want your kid(s) to be skilled at managing their own money in the future—but how to teach kids about money?

A University of Cambridge study showed that kids form their money habit by as early as 7 years old, and that their observant eyeballs are usually watching when their parents make monetary transactions. With a little bit of deliberate involvement, you can give your kids a financial head start.

Children develop financial and economic understanding when they have ‘‘personal economic experiences. For example, sources and amounts of money that children control influence their learning. Although young children under the age of seven years are unlikely to develop sophisticated understanding or conceptions about the processes underpinning such practices, they do develop a limited understanding relating to why they are done, and how they are effective.”

Start by helping kids observe and calculate the exchange of money from an early age and by asking for their opinion when you’re getting ready to make a purchase—big or small.

From introducing the concept of money to making their first investment, here’s a roadmap to guide you through the process of your kid’s financial education.

Introduce the concept of money: Introduce young kids to coins first. Teach them the value of coins and encourage them to save their coins in a piggy bank. Use a clear piggy bank or jar so that kids can actually see their pile of money grow.

Lead by example: Explain what you’re doing when you write and deposit a check, use an ATM card, or pay for groceries. Avoid actions such as making an impulse buy, and tell the kids you’re going to wait one day instead and see if you really want to make the purchase. Kids are very observant and will learn many of their money concepts by watching you and copying your behavior.

Open a savings account: Explain to kids how compound interest works and show them how their money grows in a savings account. Expand to a checking account once they’re ready.

Use an allowance: More than 4 in 5 Americans believe kids should receive an allowance, most commonly saying every cent should be earned and linked to chores (52%). While a quarter (27%) believe it should be partially earned and partially gifted.² Whatever you decide, when kids receive an allowance they must learn very basic budgeting and rationing skills. As they manage their allowance money, their money management skills will improve.

Make learning fun: Play money games that encourage learning. Board games, online games, and homemade games are all possibilities.

Allow them to make mistakes: Let your kids make their own spending decisions, even if it means making mistakes and wasting their money. It’s a valuable teaching tool. However, be ready to step in and help guide them when they need it.

Let them earn money: Working summer jobs, becoming lemonade-stand entrepreneurs, or working for mom and dad will all help kids learn about business and hard work. If you pay an allowance, call the money a commission instead, and allow kids to earn various commissions for different household chores.

Create a budget together: Allow your kids to plan for a family event to practice their budgeting skills. Help them also understand the opportunity cost of spending money on one thing, that may keep them from having enough money for other things.

Teach your teen about credit: Help your teenager understand the concept of delayed gratification and the pros and cons of buying on credit.

Introduce taxes: Kids will often be surprised by the withholding on their first paycheck. Explain the concept of taxes early on and their paycheck will meet their expectations.

Encourage charitable giving: As Mary Gordon writes in her paper, The of Roots of Empathy, “Teaching children emotional literacy and developing their capacity to take the perspective of others are key steps towards collaboration and civility; they are indispensable steps towards preventing aggressive and bullying behaviors.” If you introduce compassion and philanthropy to your kids early, they will likely become eager volunteers and kind people as they grow.

Introduce long-term planning: Teach your kids about long-term savings and debt. Discuss the costs of college, cars, houses, and retirement early to give them a head start.

Teach about investing: Once they’ve mastered basic banking skills, encourage your kids to learn about the complexity of globalized markets. Explore the idea of stocks, mutual funds, or savings accounts.

Teach kids to set goals: Many successful financial milestones are achieved by goal-setting. Encourage your kids to set savings goals and work towards them.

Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting, teaching teens

Raising a Teen Who Won’t Need to Move Back Home

Posted on June 16, 2020 by Tim Connolly

They’re known as boomerang kids – the ones who move out at 18 only to return to Mom and Dad’s house a few years later when they’re financially strapped. For many families, supporting an adult child takes an emotional and financial toll.

Over the last four decades, there’s been a slow but steady increase in young adults moving back home. In 2012, 36% of young adults ages 18 to 31 were living in their parents’ homes, according to a 2012 Pew Research Center survey.

If you doubt you’ll be a fan of your teen living on your couch until he’s 30, take steps to encourage him to leave the nest – and stay there. Here are nine steps you can take now to decrease the chances your teen will move back home later:

1. Let Your Teen Make Mistakes

Teens need opportunities to make mistakes while they’re still living under your roof. If you micromanage all your teen’s daily activities, he’ll miss out on vital learning opportunities. Sometimes, natural consequences serve as the best teacher.

2. Teach Money Management Skills

The biggest reason teens move back home is due to financial problems. Start teaching kids about money at early age. Show your teen how to establish a budget and provide him with plenty of opportunities to practice buying clothing and paying for entertainment on a budget.

3. Educate Your Teen About Debt

A lot of young adults don’t understand the ramifications of debt. The concept of ‘buy now pay later’ becomes enticing to many 18-year-olds, even when don’t’ have the money to pay off the bills. Talk to your teen about the dangers of debt and make sure your teen understands how high-interest rates can wreak havoc on their finances.

4. Provide Guidance About Your Teen’s Future Plans

While teens need to have choices about they do in their future careers, it’s important to provide some guidance. A teen who wants to go deeply in debt for a generic college degree may spend much of his adult life paying back the loans. Provide plenty of education and guidance about your teen’s career-related choices.

5. Teach Your Teen Problem-Solving Skills

Healthy problem-solving skills can help your teen find strategies to deal with housing issues, transportation, and employment without moving back home. Proactively teach your teen how to solve problems independently.

6. Help Your Teen Learn How to Establish Healthy Relationships

Unhealthy relationships, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, can lead to lots of practical and emotional turmoil that can result in a teen moving home. Help your teen learn to recognize warning signs or red flags that indicate a relationship isn’t healthy.

7. Instill a Healthy Work Ethic

Instill a healthy work ethic by assign chores that teach responsibility and pay him an allowance for a job well done. When your teen is old enough, help him find a job. Help him see the benefits of work so he’ll remain driven to earn a living as an adult.

8. Teach Your Teen Life Skills

Teens need to know a variety of life skills, ranging from how to do chores to how to socialize with new people. Take time to proactively teach your teen the skills he’s going to need to live independently. Don’t forget to look at basic skills, like using telephone etiquette and addressing envelopes, which are often missed during the digital age.

9. Make Your Expectations Clear

If your teen thinks it’s normal to take out huge students loans and go deeply in credit card debt, he’s likely to think it’s OK to move back home. Make your expectations clear years in advance. Tell your child you expect him to be financially and emotionally independent. When he knows you expect him to hold down a job, pay his bills, and pay his own rent, he’s much less likely to move back home.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Parenting

11 Life Skills You Should Teach Your Kids

Posted on June 13, 2020 by Tim Connolly

Life skills are valuable lessons kids will use throughout their lifetime. But most kids don’t learn how to handle real-world situations until they’re in high school. Don’t wait until your kids are teens to teach them life skills.

Get a jump start on teaching practical lessons to your children right now, starting with decision making and then building on each life skill lesson as your children grow.

Decision-Making Skills

Mother and daughter picking out clothes in bedroom

Making good decisions is a life skill every child should begin learning at a young age.

Begin with basic decisions like chocolate versus vanilla ice cream, blue socks or white socks, playing trains or playing cars. When kids reach elementary school age they can begin learning about the rewards of good decisions and the consequences of bad decisions.¹

Walk them through the many steps of decision making. Help them weigh their options, evaluate the pros and cons of that decision and then let them make the final decision to see how things play out.

Health and Hygiene

Your kids are never too young to begin learning about health and hygiene. In our hectic day-to-day shuffle, we’re always telling our kids to take a bath, brush their teeth, wash their hands, and change their underwear. We never tell them why, though.

Explain why health and hygiene are always going to be crucial parts of their days. As your children begin learning about this life skill, set up a chart that allows them to check off each task as they complete it.

When these healthy habits are established over time, take away the chart and your kids will mentally go through the checklist throughout the day without you having to continually remind them.

Time Management

Every parent knows how important time management is to keep your family on track. But it’s also important for kids to start learning time management lessons now.

Not only does teaching younger children how to measure time, stay on task and keep to a schedule help make your days easier, learning this life skill also helps them become masters of time so they can do everything from get up on schedule to someday getting to work on time.

Meal Prep

Even the youngest children can learn how to prepare a meal in the kitchen. We’re not talking about a five-course dinner, of course, but you can teach preschoolers how to fix a sandwich and elementary school kids can be taught how to use the microwave. And from tots to teens, your kids can be your sous chefs when it comes time for you to cook.

As your children become more confident in the kitchen, they can add on other meal prep life skills like learning how to bag their own lunch, make healthy food choices, cook a simple meal on the stove with adult supervision and plan their own meals.

Money Management

young girl putting money in a piggy bank

We teach our kids to count. We teach our kids basic math. We can take those lessons further and turn them into life skills they can begin using right now.

Financial education for kids is something adults have trouble with. Now’s the perfect time to start teaching your children about money, its importance and how to manage it so they’ll be better prepared when they start earning a paycheck of their own.

Teach your kids effective money management so they can learn how to save, spend wisely, make change, and understand that writing a check or using a credit card isn’t free money.

Cleaning

Sometimes it’s easier for parents to do all of the housekeeping themselves. It’s a missed opportunity for us to teach our kids how to keep the house clean, which they’ll eventually need to know when they leave for college and someday have a house of their own to take care of.

Start with age-appropriate chore charts that include learning how to make the bed, empty the dishwasher and dust. Also, think of the daily messes your kids make and how they can clean up after themselves.

For example, keep a towel or sponge in the bathroom that lets kids wipe away those globs of toothpaste they leave on the counter. Since toys magically move from room to room in your house, keep a basket kids can throw them all in to take back to their own bedroom at the end of the day.

Set a daily housekeeping schedule to make cleaning a part of their routine and stick to it.

Laundry

If you have kids, you have a lot of laundry. Teaching your children how to wash, fold and put away their laundry is not only a life skill that will help them, it will also help you.

Toddlers can learn a lot by helping you with laundry, such as sorting clothes by color and understanding textures. As they grow, kids can start putting the clothes in the washer and transferring them to the dryer. Elementary school children can then learn how to operate the washing machine and dryer and how much laundry detergent is needed.

As laundry comes out of the dryer, you can show them how to fold their clothes and put them away. Pretty soon, they’ll be handling all of their laundry on their own.

Comparison Shopping

“I want it! I want it! I want it!” How many times have you heard this when your kids spot candy, a toy, a T-shirt, a fish, or just about anything else you can think of that kids think they’ve got to have right now?

When we’re grown-ups we understand the value of the dollar and the importance of comparison shopping. However, we often overlook this valuable life skill we should be teaching our children.

The next time you’re standing in the store caught between a hefty price tag and a child demanding for you to fork over your cash, take the time to get your phone out and search for the item on a variety of shopping sites. Show your kids how much that item costs at other stores and what comparable items there are that may be of better quality.

Maybe the one in the store where you are is the best deal and top product after all. But teaching kids to be smart shoppers and taking the time to comparison shop will help them save money everywhere they go while also making smart decisions on the types of products they choose.

Ordering at Restaurants

child ordering at a restaurant with her mother

As parents, we tend to place our children’s orders at restaurants just to make things easier on the server. However, letting our kids order for themselves is fun for them and builds confidence.

Many restaurants have picture menus on the kids’ menu so preschoolers can begin by circling or coloring what they want to eat. As that confidence grows, kids can begin verbally telling the server what they would like, from the entrée to the sides. Remind the kids to practice good manners by saying please and thank you after they order.

Getting Ready

Kids can learn how to get ready on their own at an early age. Let them pick out the clothes they’ll wear the next day before they go to bed. Choose an alarm clock that’s easy for them to set. Lay out their hairbrush and toothbrush. Use visuals to illustrate the whole process.

For example, take a picture of the alarm clock, their clothes, another one of their toothbrush, then hairbrush and even the potty to remind them to go before you head out the door. The pictures are daily flashcards until they get in the habit of getting ready all on their own.

Maintenance Around the House

mom showing her son how to change a light bulb

Kids love to be your big helper and there’s always light maintenance around the house that they can pitch in to do.

Easy tasks include showing them how to change the toilet paper roll or bag up the trash. Older children can learn how to change a light bulb, unclog a drain and change, the vacuum cleaner bag.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Parenting, teaching teens

How to Teach Kids Self-Discipline with Money

Posted on June 13, 2020 by Tim Connolly

A lot of behavior problems and discipline issues stem from problems surrounding a child’s allowance and chores. It’s easy to get into power struggles over these issues, especially with teens.

Establishing rules, setting limits and enforcing consequences about your child’s spending habits can help your child learn how to make healthy decisions about money for the rest of his life.

Teaching kids about money FAQs

Teaching kids how to be wise with earning and spending money will not only prevent a lot of behavior problems, it will also be a skill that helps them for the rest of their lives.

I interviewed Andrew Schrage, financial planning expert and the co-owner of Money Crashers, to find out how parents can teach kids how to have self-discipline with money.

How do parents’ financial habits affect kids’ attitudes and behaviors about money?

The financial habits of parents have a direct effect on their children’s attitudes and behaviors regarding money. Children often mimic their parents, and if a child sees a parent wasting money or going into credit card debt, they’re more likely to do the same as they grow up. A child who has never been shown how to save money simply won’t know how to do it once they begin to manage their own finances.

How soon should kids be allowed to start earning an allowance for completing chores? How should parents decide how much kids should earn?

In my opinion, kids should start earning an allowance as soon as they’re old enough to help out with household chores. However, I do not believe in rewarding children for things they should do on their own, such as keeping their bedroom clean.

If the child actively participates in chores such as cleaning bathrooms, mopping the kitchen floor, and vacuuming, they should be compensated. How much to pay the child should be based on the parents’ current level of expendable income, as well as the amount of work completed.

What types of rules should parents create to help a child manage his money?

Parents should create some rules to help a child manage his or her money, but the child should also be given a certain amount of independence. Making mistakes and learning from them is a great way to become more educated on the topic of prudent money management.

Children should be highly encouraged to save a portion of their money, and starting a bank account is a great way to achieve that goal. They should also be encouraged to donate a portion so that they learn to give back. One absolute rule that should be established once they’re old enough is that credit card debt of any sort will not be tolerated.

If a teenager has a part-time job, should parents still set rules about saving and spending?

The same rules should remain in place, although the parent might want to consider allowing them a little more leeway. After all, it is their money. But the rule regarding no credit card debt should absolutely remain in place.

When kids receive money as a gift, should parents set limits with their spending or should kids be given the freedom to spend it however they want?

Freedom and independence are important to help kids learn more about money and how it works. Parents should explain to the child that the money is a gift and they can spend it how they want, but they should also reinforce the idea of saving at least a portion of it.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Parenting, teaching teens

How to Help Your Teen be Successful at His First Job

Posted on June 11, 2020 by Tim Connolly

Landing a job is a huge step in any teenager’s life. It’s not enough to get the job, however—your teen also has to be able to keep his job.

And while you don’t want to micromanage your teen’s job (don’t call his boss and don’t attend the interview with him), you can take steps to help your teen perform well.

Helping your teen be successful at his first job can have many benefits. The skills he learns can prepare him for a future career path and the money he earns can teach him about money.

Work can also be good for a teen’s self-esteem. The added responsibility of holding a job can build your teen’s confidence, which is good for his mental health—as long as he doesn’t get too stressed out.

Whether your teen is searching for a summer job or she’s on the hunt for after school employment, these strategies can increase the chances that her first job will be a success.

Pay Attention to Appearance on Application and Interview Days

Encourage your teen to dress appropriately when he’s picking up applications. The hiring manager may be in the establishment and first impressions matter.

Talk about the importance of dressing up on the day of the interview as well. Even if the interview is at a fast-food chain or a place that provides a uniform for the job, appearance matters.

Clearly, your teen doesn’t need to wear a business suit to an entry-level job interview. But a neatly dressed, well-groomed teen makes a better impression than one walking in wearing pajama bottoms, a dirty T-shirt and flip-flops.

In some cases, body jewelry can be an appearance (or safety) issue at work, too. Many workplaces do not allow nose rings, ear spools, tongue jewelry or anything beyond conservative body piercings (think: pierced ears).

If your teen has piercings that may seem unconventional to some adults, tell him to remove the body jewelry before applying for the job—this way, he won’t be turned down because of a piercing when he may otherwise have been a perfect candidate for the job.

Dress for Success Every Work Day

If the new job provides a uniform, dressing for success means ensuring the uniform is clean and wrinkle-free.

If there isn’t a uniform, talk to your teen about appropriate attire. If an employee handbook came along with the new job, the dress code should be spelled out in the book.

If the job has no specific dress code, apparel still matters. Encourage your teen to wear well-fitting, clean clothes. Make sure her shoes are appropriate for the job too. No flip-flops, ridiculously high heels or sloppy boots.

Behave With Professionalism

An entry-level position means your teen may have to deal with lots of supervisors and, perhaps, difficult co-workers as well. Talk to your teen about how to deal with difficult people up front before it becomes an issue.

For instance, a coworker that has a nasty attitude should be dealt with respectfully, even if that coworker dishes out anything but respect. Harsh comments can be ignored, or if things get too far out of line, reported to a higher-up.

Likewise, other employees that are lazy or that use most of their work time to do anything but work should not be emulated. Encourage your teen to do the tasks he was hired to do, regardless of whether others follow suit. Work time is not Snapchat or texting time.

Talk to your teen about cellphone etiquette. Tell your teen to shut off her cellphone during an interview and make sure she knows it isn’t appropriate to send text messages or be distracted by her phone while she’s on the job.

Also, make it clear that it’s not OK to complain about her job on social media. Tell her to keep her work-related business out of her social media posts, without exception.

Handle Cranky Customers Professionally

In a customer service job such as a fast-food restaurant, there’s a saying your teen should know: the customer is always right. This doesn’t mean that the customer’s view is always correct or completely realistic, but that the customer should be heard and treated respectfully no matter how outlandish (or incorrect) their viewpoint seems.

In many cases, they just want to be heard or may want the business to right what they viewed as a wrong, such as an incorrect order or cold food. Much of the time this can be handled easily and quickly, but if an irate customer proves too difficult to rationalize with, your teen can ask a manager to help.

Maintain a Good Attitude

Sometimes, a first job can be a bit of a drag. Even so, a good attitude helps the day go by faster, plus it puts your teen on the fast track for potential promotions or higher pay. This doesn’t mean he should patronize the boss and other higher ups, or overdo it on the smiles and perkiness to the point his attitude comes off as fake.

Showing up on time every day, being reliable and filling in for others when needed, also shows the boss that your teen has what it takes to succeed.

In a nutshell, meeting work expectations and keeping a positive attitude go a long way in the workplace, whether it’s his first job or his fifth. A great attitude also helps diffuse potentially difficult situations and makes the workplace more enjoyable for everyone present.

Establish a Budget

By the time your teen figures out how much he’ll make each week at his new job, he’s probably already figured out what to spend it on, too. Discuss finances in advance and also focus on Teaching Teens About Money.

Most teens are surprised to discover how much of their checks go to taxes. So warn your teen in advance that a percentage of the money earned goes straight to the government.

Help your teen set financial goals, such as buying a car, purchasing new clothes, or saving for college. Work out a plan together to determine what percentage should be saved from each paycheck and how much can be used for “fun” money.

Teaching your teen about money now can help him learn valuable life lessons that will serve him well in the future. Saving, smart spending and perhaps even investing can help him become wiser with finances.

Address Safety Issues

There may be times when you need to become more involved in your teen’s work. Talk to your teen about potential safety issues and how he can respond.

For example, if your teen is being asked to perform dangerous tasks without proper training, he may not know he needs to speak up.

Or, if he’s being bullied by a supervisor or harassed by a co-worker, he might not know where to turn for help. In those cases, you may need to provide your teen with guidance and coaching about the steps he can take.

Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting

42 Conversation Starters for Kids

Posted on June 11, 2020June 16, 2020 by Tim Connolly

As a parent, you’re likely to feel like you know your children like the back of your hand sometimes. You know the foods they refuse to eat, and those they gobble up. You know faces they make when they’re sad, and the exclamations they make when they’re ecstatic. In short, these are the beings that you’re closest to in the entire world.

However, people—including kids—are constantly changing and developing new preferences, fears, thoughts, and emotions. Therefore, to continue to know your children as well as you hope to, you need to keep asking questions to start conversations.

A simple question like, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” seems like it might not offer too much insight, but if you continue to encourage a discussion about the topic, you might be surprised as to what you can learn.

These conversation starters can even help develop characteristics that you think are important for your child to possess, such as gratitude, imagination, empathy, and confidence.

Bring up these questions when you’re in the car, at the dinner table or in another location when the whole family can focus on the conversation. You might even make a little game out of it—print out the questions, cut them up so they’re on individual strips of paper and have a child pick out a question or two to discuss each night.

To Get to Know Your Child Better

Asking specific questions about your child’s dreams, emotions, and values can give you great insight into the individual that you’re raising. It might clue you into things you want to work on with your child or you might leave the conversation feeling astonished that your child is growing into such a wonderful person.

Here are some conversation starters that can help you get to know your child on a deeper level:

Who is your best friend and why?
What traits do you look for in friends?
What do you think is the most important quality a person can have?
What do you think of the way the other kids at school dress these days?
What’s your most embarrassing moment?

To Enhance Family Relationships

It’s important for your child to feel like an important member of the family. And it can be interesting to get a sense of what your child thinks about being part of your family.

As kids grow up, they often look at their friends’ families or families on TV and wonder what it would be like if they were raised in a different environment. So it can be eye-opening to hear their thoughts on what they appreciate about your family, as well as things they might wish were different.

Rather than argue or defend the things that might be a little tough to hear, simply ask some follow up questions about what inspired your child’s way of thinking.

Of course, you might also be honored to hear some of the things your child appreciates about you or your family. Here are some questions that can spark interesting conversations about your family:

What is your favorite thing about our family?
What is your favorite family tradition?
What are the most important things we’ve taught you?
Do you think the discipline and consequences in our family are fair?
If you could make three family rules, what would they be?
What do you think are the most important qualities of a good parent?
What should we do more of as a family?
What do you like best about your siblings?

To Help Grow Gratitude

From improved physical health to better relationships, studies consistently show that gratitude has many benefits. But raising a grateful child in today’s world can be complicated. Most kids have more than they need and they can easily take things — like an opportunity to attend school — for granted.

Asking questions that cultivate gratitude—and making it a habit to help your child look on the bright side—could be key to raising a child who feels thankful for all that she has.

Here are some conversations starters that can cultivate gratitude:

What are some things you feel grateful for today?
What are some things that you don’t need, but you’re really happy that you have?
What are some things that are easy to complain about, but we’re actually lucky to have? For example, rainy days help gardens grow and give animals water to drink.
What are some things you get to do that other people might not be able or allowed to do?
What are some things that I didn’t have as a kid that you’re happy you get to have?

To Help Develop Imagination

After kids outgrow pretend play, their use of imagination may decline. But, you can help spark their creativity with a few simple questions.

Here are some conversation starters that will help your child be a bit more imaginative:

If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
If you wrote a book, what would it be about?
If your pets could talk, what would they say?
What color is the happiest color? What makes it happy?
If you won $100, what would you do with it?

To Help Develop Empathy

Kids can get caught up into thinking they’re the only person who matters. You can combat egocentrism by helping your child think more about others and how they might feel. Here are some questions that can help your child develop empathy:

Did you have a chance to be kind to anyone today?
How do you think other people feel when you’re kind to them?
Who gets teased at school or in your activities, and why?
How do you think kids who do the teasing feel about themselves? How do you think kids who get teased feel?
Does anyone else ever step in to stick up for the kids being teased?
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

To Help Develop Mental Strength

Kids can learn to develop mental muscle by learning how to manage their emotions, regulate their thoughts, and take positive action. While it’s important to give them regular exercises that help them build mental strength, you can also remind them of strategies they can use to be mentally strong by asking targeted questions. Here are some simple conversation starters that can help kids build mental strength:

What feeling do you think is most uncomfortable? Embarrassment, anger, fear, or something else?
What are some things you can tell yourself when your brain tells you things that are too negative to be true, such as ‘you’ll never succeed’ or ‘no one likes you?’
How do you make yourself face your fears?

To Help Develop Ethical Thinking

Asking questions about ethical issues can help your child get to know her values and develop morality. Here are a few conversation starters that can help your child think about her ethics:

If your friend always forgets to bring his lunch to school, should other kids always share with him?
Is it ever OK to ever cheat in school or sports?
Is there ever a time that it would be OK to steal from someone?

To Help Develop Confidence

It’s important for kids to recognize their talents, abilities, and skills.

Asking questions that help them identify their strengths can help them realize they put their talents to good use.

Here are some conversation starters that can boost your child’s confidence:

What are you most proud of?
What is something you are good at?
What are some things you can do to make a difference in the world?
Also while developing confidence you should also focus on how to teach kids about money, this habit of money management will help them to build a positive confidence.

To Help Develop Ambition

Young people sometimes have trouble thinking past the next five minutes, let alone thinking much about their long-term future. Asking some questions about the life they want to create for themselves is a good way to help them start imagining what type of life they want to live.

Here are some conversation starters that can help your child think more about the future and develop the ambition to make it happen:

Where would you like to live someday? A house in the country, an apartment in the city, on a farm, in a mansion, in an RV that travels around, or somewhere else?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
If you could achieve any goal, however impossible it seems, what would it be?
What is one thing you want to achieve before you finish school?

Keeping the Conversations Going

Questions and conversation starters should be natural, not an interrogation. If you rapidly fire questions at your child, he’ll be more likely to shut down.

So limit your big questions to one or two a day. Spend time talking about his thoughts and ideas and show that you’re interested in hearing what he has to say.

Your child will relish your conversations together when he realizes that you value his opinion, even when it’s different from your own.

Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting

7 Life Skills Your Teen Needs to Be Independent

Posted on May 20, 2020May 28, 2020 by Tim Connolly

Just because your teen turns 18 doesn’t mean he’s ready to move out of the house and live on his own. Unless you’ve taught him the life skills necessary to live in the real world, there’s a good chance he’ll struggle to be independent.

In fact, many teens are becoming ‘boomerang kids’ because they lack life skills. They struggle to get by without the financial, physical, and emotional support of their parents.

Here are the basic life skills teens need to gain independence from their parents:

1. Work Skills

Don’t assume that just because your teen made it through school he’ll be able to hold down a job. The rules of the workforce are quite different from the confines of a high school. Teens need to know how to complete a job application, attend an interview, and follow a supervisor’s instructions.

A part-time job during high school or a summer job can prepare your teen for a future career. Additionally, assigning chores and regular household responsibilities can prepare your teen for the working world.

2. Transportation Skills

Just because your teen has a driver’s license doesn’t mean she necessarily has transportation skills. Teens need to know how to get from point A to point B. That may mean knowing how to navigate through rush hour or understanding how to use a GPS.

Of course, not all teens know how to drive nor have a driver’s license. In those cases, it’s important for your teen to know how to use public transportation.

And if there’s a chance your teen may need to travel for work, or she plans to leave the state to go to college, knowing how to navigate an unfamiliar city is important.

3. Goal Setting Skills

Whether your teen wants to lose weight or he’s interested in working his way up the corporate ladder, goal setting skills are essential.

Teach your teen how to establish a goal. Then, talk about how to take action toward reaching those goals. A teen who knows how to track his progress is much more likely to stay motivated.

Work on goal setting skills often. Help your teen identify one thing he wants to achieve and then assist him in making it happen. With each new goal he attains, he’ll gain confidence in his ability to reach even loftier goals in the future.

4. Emotion Regulation Skills

All the academic skills or athletic talent in the world will only get your child so far in life. It’s important for teens to know how to regulate their emotions too.

After all, if your teen can’t control his temper, he won’t handle setbacks well. Or, if he can’t cope with anxiety, he may never step outside his comfort zone.

Teach your teen how to deal with uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way. Over time, he’ll gain confidence in his ability to do hard things.

5. The Ability to Deal With Emergencies

When your team has to deal with an emergency, there will be no time for them to think. Therefore, it is imperative parents take the time to teach their teens how to deal with emergencies while they are at home.

A grease fire, a serious injury, or natural disasters are just a few of the emergencies your teen is likely to encounter at one point or another.

Make sure your teen knows what to do when the power is out or the cell phone towers are down too. Kids who have grown up with technology often forget that in times of true emergency, electronics aren’t always available.

6. Basic Household Management

While you may be tempted to let your teen off the hook when it comes to chores, it’s essential that your teen knows how to manage a household. Whether he lives in a dorm room or he rents an apartment, he’ll need to know some basic skills.

Teach your teen basic meal preparation skills. Make sure he knows how to perform simple repairs–as well as when to call in professional help. Additionally, don’t send him on his way until he knows how to do his laundry and sanitize a bathroom.

7. Financial Skills

One of the most important skills you’ll ever teach your teen is how to handle money. Unfortunately, many teens leave the house with no idea how to create a budget or how to balance a checkbook. And many of them get themselves thousands of dollars into debt in no time.

Spend time teaching teens about money management skills. Make sure they knows about the dangers of credit card debt and the importance of investing. Teaching those skills early on could make a big difference in your child’s quality of life.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting

Using Praise to Encourage Good Behaviors

Posted on May 20, 2020 by Tim Connolly

Praise is a simple but effective discipline strategy that increases good behavior. Pointing out when your child is following the rules or telling them that you appreciate their compliance will motivate them to keep up the good work.

Positive vs. Negative Attention

Imagine standing in a room with three children. Two of the children are playing quietly with toys. One child is running around wildly, jumping on furniture and screeching. Which child would be most likely to get your attention? If you’re like most parents, you might give the misbehaving child more attention.

If, however, you praised the children who were behaving, you could change the entire situation. Saying, “Wow, I love the way you are sitting there playing quietly,” may motivate the misbehaving child to follow suit.

But it’s easy to let good behaviors often go unnoticed. But when kids aren’t getting attention, they’ll often do whatever it takes to get noticed—and sometimes, that means misbehaving. When you give your child positive attention for good behavior, they’ll be less likely to act out.

Benefits of Praise

Praise can encourage a variety of good behaviors. Catch your child being good and point it out. Positive reinforcement will encourage it to continue.

Here are a few specific behaviors that can be especially responsive to praise:

Prosocial behavior – Praise your child for sharing, taking turns, using kind words, and getting along well with others.
Compliance – Praise your child for following the rules and listening to your instructions. Remember to pay attention when your child is playing quietly or entertaining themself.
Effort – When your child is learning a new skill, praise can encourage them to keep trying. For example, if you praise your child for their willingness to try hard or their ability to be patient as they learn, you’ll increase their motivation to keep trying.

Make Praise Effective

Praise and positive attention are healthy when given appropriately. Here are some ways to make your praise particularly effective in encouraging good behavior:

Offer immediate and frequent feedback. Offer frequent praise if your child is playing quietly for an extended period of time or if they’re working hard on a project for a whole afternoon.
Make praise specific. Instead of saying “Good job,” say, “Great job putting your plate in the sink right when I asked you to.” This makes it clear that you are praising their immediate compliance.
Frame your praise positively. Instead of saying, “Nice job not whining,” say, “I’m proud of you for staying calm when I said that you couldn’t go outside.” Point out the behaviors you want to see more of, not the behaviors you hope to diminish. Never mix praise with criticism, or it will lose effectiveness.
Praise effort, not the outcome. Praise can build healthy self-esteem when you use it to point out your child’s effort. Rather than praise your child for getting a 100, praise his willingness to study for the test.
Offer genuine praise. Rather than say, “You’re the smartest kid ever,” or, “You’re the best soccer player in the whole school,” offer realistic praise. Say things like, “You’re a good runner,” or “You do a great job of getting your homework done.”
Avoid labels. Labels, even when they’re positive, aren’t a good idea. Referring to your child as “your little genius,” or “a soccer star,” may cause your child to think that’s all their known for. Focus your praise on their behavior, not their traits.

Create a Discipline Plan

You can prevent a lot of misbehavior by catching your child being good. But, when your child breaks the rules, it’s important to provide negative consequences that will deter them from misbehaving in the future.

When your child is struggling with a specific behavioral issue, create a clear plan for how you can use praise to encourage good behavior. For example, if he hits his brother when he’s angry, invest your energy into praising him for using kind words, gentle touches, and problem-solving skills.

Also while creating a well designed discipline plan make sure to include one of the important thing in the list, that will surely gonna help the child in later future and that is money management. Teaching kids about money management is really important because it will prepare them to be independent sooner or later for good, and also help them to tackle the world and its rules.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, Kids, Parenting

Disciplining Your Children When They Steal

Posted on May 16, 2020 by Tim Connolly

Whether your 5-year-old purposely tries to bring home a toy from daycare or your 14-year-old steals nail polish from the store, discovering that your child stole something can be horrifying.

But an isolated incident doesn’t mean your child is destined for a life of crime. A healthy response from you can prevent stealing from becoming a habit.

If your child steals something, intervene right away. Use discipline strategies that teach your child stealing is wrong and deter him from taking things that don’t belong to him ever again. One of the most amazing discipline strategy is money management. If you are wondering how to teach kids about money, don’t worry we are here to help you in your difficult times. When the kids came to know the importance of money management it will eventually help them to overcome the problem of stealing.

Why Kids Steal

It’s common for preschoolers to take other people’s belongings. At this age, they lack a clear understanding of how stealing affects others and how it can be harmful.

They also might take something from a store simply because they don’t understand economics. The concept of buying something just doesn’t compute.

It’s a great time to begin teaching your child about empathy and why stealing is wrong so he can learn to respect other people’s property. Hold regular conversations about the importance of leaving other people’s belongings alone.

Elementary and middle-school-age children often struggle with impulse control. They may quickly put an object they want into their pockets without considering the consequences. Teach your child impulse control to prevent stealing.

Junior high and high school students may steal because it’s “cool.” They can be peer pressured into taking goods from the store or stealing money from an unattended bag in the locker room.

At other times, teens steal because they want to have nice items that they can’t otherwise afford. Finally, some teens steal as a way to rebel against authority. At this age, they’re likely to face legal issues if stealing isn’t addressed effectively.

Underlying behavior disorders or mental health problems can also contribute to behavior problems like stealing.¹ A child who struggles to deal with his parents’ divorce may begin acting out. Or a child who is struggling with depression may use stealing as a way to cope.

Discipline Strategies to Address Stealing

Whether your child has brought home suspicious items from school that he claims were a gift, or you’ve caught him taking something from a store, the way you address the problem will influence the likelihood that he’ll steal again.

Use these discipline strategies to put a stop to stealing:

Emphasize honesty: Frequent conversations about honesty can go a long way to prevent lying and stealing. Always provide your child with a less serious consequence when he tells the truth and provides plenty of praise whenever you catch him being honest about misdeeds.
Teach your child to respect property: Help a young child understand ownership by making him responsible for his belongings. For example, talk about the importance of treating his toys gently. Create rules about respect that ensure everyone asks before borrowing items. Discuss the importance of taking good care of borrowed items and returning them to their owner.
Return stolen goods: When you catch your child with stolen items, it’s important that your child return the stolen goods and apologize to the victim. Assist your child in writing an apology letter or accompany your child to return the stolen items.
Provide consequences for stealing: A child who constantly takes his brother’s favorite toys without permission may benefit from loaning his toys to his brother. Taking away privileges can also be a logical consequence. An older child may have to do extra chores to earn the money he needs to pay someone back for stolen goods.
Problem-solve future strategies: Work together to problem-solve strategies that will reduce the likelihood of further stealing incidents. You may need to remove temptations for a while. For example, don’t allow your 13-year-old to be unsupervised with friends at stores. Or you may need to work on teaching your child better self-control skills before he’s ready to have another play date.

When to Seek Professional Help

Stealing could have many legal, social, and emotional consequences for your child, who could also face expulsion from daycare. So if your discipline strategies aren’t working to curb his stealing, it’s important to take things a step further.

If stealing has become an ongoing problem for your child, seek professional help. A professional counselor can identify underlying causes for stealing.

Sometimes, mental health issues, behavioral problems, or conduct disorders are at the root of the problem. A mental health professional can assist you and your child with strategies that will put a stop to stealing.

Discipline in kids, Financial freedom, News & Updates, Parenting

Create a Discipline Toolbox Filled With Useful Parenting Strategies

Posted on May 16, 2020 by Tim Connolly

There’s a lot of advice out there about the “best way” to discipline kids. But, in reality, consequences and discipline strategies that work for one child may not work for another.

And no single discipline strategy is effective for every rule violation. So while time-out may curb your child’s aggression, taking away privileges may work best when he doesn’t do his chores.

That’s why it’s important for parents to have a customized discipline toolbox, filled with a variety of discipline strategies that can be applied to misbehavior.

Just like with any toolbox, there will be some tools you use more than others. And there may be some tools that you occasionally forget about. But just knowing the tools are available gives you the confidence to deal with behavior problems of all sizes.

Why You Need Many Different Tools

It’s good to have several choices when you’re deciding how to best teach your child about appropriate behavior. If your child misbehaves at school, should you take away his electronics or assign extra chores?

What if the consequence you pick doesn’t seem work? Having another tool to reach for can be the key to ensuring your child receives healthy discipline.

Of course, you don’t want to just randomly pick tools from your toolbox and apply them haphazardly. Instead, it’s important to get a sense of which tools work best with your child.

For example, does your child need to learn life skills, like problem-solving skills? Or does he need to learn how to verbalize his feelings? Address any skill deficits that could help your child make better choices in the future.

Specific Discipline Tools

Your discipline toolbox should contain tools that prevent behavior problems before they start, consequences that teach life lessons, and strategies for teaching new skills.

Tools That Prevent Behavior Problems

These discipline strategies require some extra time and effort but they’re an investment that can prevent many behavior problems:

Positive Attention: Daily doses of one-on-one time prevents attention-seeking behavior. Time-out is much more effective when your child is getting plenty of time-in.
Praise: Catch your child being good and you’ll encourage your child to keep up the good work.
Pre-Teaching: Explain the rules and your expectations before your child goes to a new place or tackles a new project. And one of that pre-teaching includes teaching kids about money, it will help them on a long run to tackle new things in life ahead.

Consequences That Teach Life Lessons

When your child breaks the rules, use negative consequences like these to teach her to make better choices in the future:

Ignoring: Actively ignore attention-seeking behavior and eventually, your child’s misbehavior will stop.
Time-Out: Remove your child from the situation so she can take a few minutes to calm down.
Loss of Privilege: Take away a privilege, like TV, for a specific period of time.
Logical Consequences: Help your child take responsibility for her behavior. If she breaks something, make her pay to replace it.
Natural Consequences: Let your child face the natural consequences of her choices.
Restitution: When your child’s behavior hurts someone else, restitution can help make amends.

Tools That Teach Specific Skills

If your child is struggling with a specific behavior problem, like aggression or forgetting to do his chores, use a reward system that teaches specific skills:

Behavior Chart: From chore charts to reward systems, there are many different kinds of behavior charts that can give your child goals and incentives.
Token Economy System: Token economy systems motivate older children or those who have several goals to work on at a time. Tokens can be exchanged for bigger rewards.

What to Do When a Tool Isn’t Working

If the discipline tool you’re using doesn’t seem effective, examine your technique. Are there things you could do differently that may make the tool more effective? For example, are you consistent when applying the tool? Are you clear about the rules and consequences? Have you given it enough time to work?

If it appears as though a specific consequence just isn’t effective, switch to a different tool. For example, if ignoring swear words hasn’t curbed your child’s potty mouth, try rewarding him for using nice language or place him in time-out for using inappropriate words.

If you’re really struggling to find a discipline tool that works well, seek professional help. Talk to your child’s pediatrician or consult a mental health professional. A professional can help you rule out underlying behavior disorders and can help you discover the most effective discipline strategies.