Category: Parenting

Medical professionals need to be at work more urgently than ever, but their child care has essentially evaporated. Eager (but fragile) networks of volunteers have stepped in to help.

When Ellen Lubbers first decided to try to help the doctors and nurses of Ohio State University’s Wexner Medical Center line up child care for their kids, whose schools had suddenly closed as a result of the coronavirus pandemic, she didn’t realize just how much help they actually needed.

On March 14, Lubbers, a 30-year-old third-year OSU medical student, saw a small commotion sparked by a tweet from one of her classmates: Because clinical rotations had been canceled, the classmate had offered her services as a babysitter to any doctor or nurse. Other students immediately jumped in with similar offers, and Lubbers wondered if one central, shareable document might be more helpful than a disjointed smattering of tweets.

Lubbers set up a Google Doc, where, with permission, she listed the contact information of other interested students. “I sent the link to one person, a clinician who’s a mom,” Lubbers told me. “I said, ‘If you think this would be helpful to anybody, please share it.’” Within hours, some of the first students who had signed up were sending panicked emails to Lubbers: They had been swamped, already, with more requests from health-care workers than they could handle.

As COVID-19 cases multiply all over the United States, the influx of new hospital patients has put a strain on medical centers’ resources—of both the material variety and the human. In New York State, where it’s estimated that nearly half of America’s confirmed coronavirus cases are located, hospital staffs are spread so thin that Governor Andrew Cuomo and New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio have called on retired doctors and nurses to form a “medical reserve” force. Many if not most primary-care physicians and hospital staffers are at work much more than usual, and some are even living apart from their families to protect them from exposure. Meanwhile, the infrastructure that usually provides care for their kids (schools and day cares) have mostly closed. As a result, many health-care workers are facing an impossible choice between caring for victims of a pandemic and caring for their own children at home. Other people whose job or education has been put on hold by the pandemic have rushed to fill the vacuum and help these parents get the assistance they need—but even that presents a number of challenges.

After Lubbers’s Google Doc proved to be an unsustainable system, she created an online form, where health-care workers who needed help and students willing to babysit could enter info about themselves into a database—where they lived, what hours they needed assistance or were available, what kind of assistance they needed or could provide. Lubbers included “petsitting” and “errands” as categories of available aid, but “really, people just needed child care,” she said. “Of the 90-some requests we fielded, there were, like, three for other services.”

The form went online on the afternoon of March 15, and it, too, was inundated by the next morning. Lubbers and another medical student got to work matching health-care workers with willing students; Lubbers said she was emailing, calling, and texting people for the next 13 hours straight. Making her job harder was the fact that a lot of health-care personnel needed child care right that minute: “A lot of in-home day cares were electively closing at that point,” she told me, “and it was really frustrating for providers that some of their normal babysitters and normal nannies were not willing anymore to watch their kids, because they’re kids of doctors who are going to go to a hospital,” and thus their household was at greater risk of contracting COVID-19. The form was closed a few days later, when the OSU medical center stepped in and offered to help match students with employees using the app Juggle. But before it closed, about 100 students had signed up to provide help, 91 parents had signed up to receive it, and 61 matches been arranged.

OSU’s grassroots effort isn’t the only one of its kind; similar ad hoc babysitting networks have sprung up at Dartmouth, Johns Hopkins, and the University of Minnesota, among other places. As of Monday, the group that has grown out of the University of Minnesota—known as MN CovidSitters—had approximately 300 volunteers, many (but not all) of whom are med-school or nursing students. MN CovidSitters, like OSU’s network, also offers pet care and errand-running, but has primarily been tasked with coordinating child care; unlike OSU’s network, in which parents and their sitters or helpers can negotiate pay individually, MN CovidSitters provides all services for free. The group is looking to expand to meet the needs of health-care workers statewide, and recently partnered with Clinician Nexus, an app often used by medical schools to manage students’ clinical rotations, to match families with volunteers. It has also begun accepting volunteer applications from any university students currently located in Minnesota, as long as they submit to a background check and are fully up-to-date on immunizations; applicants who are CPR-certified are strongly preferred.

Lubbers and student organizers from MN CovidSitters told me that the response from doctors has been positive overall. “We’ve gotten many letters of gratitude from our professors and mentors,”  said Sara Lederman, a 30-year-old second-year medical student and one of MN CovidSitters’ founders. Lubbers noted that having their kids cared for by a health-care student seemed to put a lot of health-care workers’ minds at ease. “There are a lot of doors you have to go through to become a medical student or nursing student,” she said, “and they knew a medical [or nursing] student would be vaccinated and have had a background check.”

You can help your children to learn different things from the popular children book series and they can learn about financial freedom, financial education for kids and life lessons.

We all want to be the best parents we can be for our children, but there is often conflicting advice on how to raise a kid who is confident, kind and successful. Throughout the circus act of parenting, it’s important to focus on balancing priorities, juggling responsibilities and quickly flipping between the needs of your children, other family members and yourself. Modern parents have the entire internet at their disposal and don’t follow any single authority. It’s hard to know whom or what to trust. Here, we’ll talk about how to help your child grow up to be a person you really like without losing yourself in the process.  

Good news: There is no one right way to raise a child. 

Research tells us that to raise a self-reliant child with high self-esteem, it is more effective to be authoritative than authoritarian. You want your child to listen, respect and trust you rather than fear you. You want to be supportive, but not a hovering, helicopter parent. 

All of these things are easy to set as goals, but hard to achieve. How do you find the right balance? 

As your child develops, the challenges will change, and your thinking may evolve, but your approach should be consistent, firm and loving. Help your child learn through experience that making an effort builds confidence and helps you learn to tackle challenges. Calibrate your expectations about what your child is capable of doing independently, whether you have an infant learning to sleep through the night, a toddler helping to put toys away, or an older child resolving conflicts. 

Remember, there is no one right way to raise a child and you should know how to teach kids about money. Do your best, trust yourself and enjoy the company of the small person in your life.

Fixating on weight or encouraging kids to be overly circumspect about food can put kids at risk.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 5 children are affected by obesity and are at risk for health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, fatty liver and orthopedic issues. At the same time, the National Eating Disorders Association warns that eating disorders are on the rise, particularly in children under 12 and in boys.

As a pediatric nutritionist, I understand the risks associated with obesity treatment and eating disorders. Parents must take a balanced approach that focuses on children’s overall health, rather than simply a number on a scale.

Recently, WW (formerly Weight Watchers) launched Kurbo, a diet app for kids aged 8 to 17, which allows them to track food intake, exercise minutes and goals for weight loss. Although WW says the app focuses on health overall, while also being an effective tool for weight loss, targeting a child or teen who is developing both physically and emotionally is off the mark, increasing the risk for disordered eating and a dysfunctional relationship with food and one’s own body.

Parents who are concerned about their child must be careful around the topic of weight. Instead, self-reflect and look at the big picture: Is this a normal growth transition? Is my home environment and family lifestyle supportive of my child’s health? In my professional experience, these are the fundamental contributors to a child’s health and areas where families can improve.

Parents Are the Nutritional Gatekeepers

Parents choose and prepare food in the home. They set the schedule and rules for eating. And, they set expectations for eating outside of the home.

Over time, they can help mold healthy habits, such as regular physical activity and sleep patterns. They are also responsible for modeling attitudes about foods, eating and body image.

Childhood Development Is a Delicate Process

Throughout childhood, kids are physically changing while developing their relationship with food and their bodies. Often, in preparation for a growth spurt, preteens gain weight, especially around the midsection; and girls in particular can expect some weight gain specific to certain areas of the body, such as hips, thighs and breasts, that’s related to normal development. Meanwhile, kids are developing the emotional blueprint of their self-esteem and body image.

“The body is changing rapidly and we want to reassure females during this time that this is a normal part of growth,” says Angela Lemond, a registered dietitian nutritionist and co-founder of Lemond Nutrition in Texas. “Girls already feel self-conscious.” The best approach is to be reassuring, let your child know that weight changes are normal and talk about what a healthy lifestyle entails, she says.

Experts agree that heavy children are at higher risk for fat shaming and bullying, which may increase the risk for unhealthy dieting and eating disorders. Placing any child on a weight loss diet, no matter their size or shape, has the potential to cause havoc during this sensitive, developmental time.

“The ‘pressure to be thin’ is one of the greatest risk factors for the development of an eating disorder, and studies show that body dissatisfaction can start as early as age 6,” says Wendy Sterling, a registered dietitian and co-author of “How to Nourish Your Child Through an Eating Disorder.”

“Putting kids on diets teaches them that something is wrong with their body as is,” Sterling says. “This challenges their self-worth, interferes with the development of self-esteem, creates confusing and chaotic messages about how to fuel a growing body, and makes children more susceptible (to) the development of an eating disorder.”

It’s Not About Form, It’s About Function

Child obesity is determined by a set of numbers and a calculation called the body mass index, or BMI. It’s not a perfect number and doesn’t show the range of factors that speak to a child’s overall health. For example, if a teen is a muscular athlete, based on their BMI, they may be classified as overweight, even though the teen is very fit. Alternatively, a child may be a picky eater and deficient in nutrients, even though the child’s BMI indicates his or her weight is “normal.”

While BMI can point to potential health concerns, it is more realistic to look at a child’s growth over time. More importantly, we need to appreciate that a child can be heavy (or bigger) and healthy. And, a child can be thin, or normal weight, and unhealthy.

Do Weight Loss Programs for Kids Actually Work?

There’s scant research that indicates weight loss diets in children are effective. There is little evidence that tracking what foods one eats has any impact in terms of changing long term dietary behaviors, says Leslie Mattimore, a registered dietitian with Boston Children’s Optimal Wellness for Life program.

Many nutrition professionals avoid the weight loss diet approach, myself included. Instead, the whole family is encouraged to focus on health behaviors. “Regardless of size, shape, gender or age, all family members should be following a lifestyle that promotes health,” Lemond says. “We like to tell the child and parents that the entire family should be living the same way, and we often make the same goals for each family member.”

Mattimore agrees. “It’s about more than just the food,” she says. When interventions are focused only on the child, that can result in kids developing unhealthy relationships with food. “While interventions that involve the whole family can help everyone develop healthy lifelong habits, regardless of their weight, Mattimore says.

For those children who experience severe complications due to weight, the research also supports a focus on lifestyle changes. Even without weight loss, lifestyle changes such as routine physical activity may help with managing associated conditions like high blood pressure or diabetes, according to a review of treatment options for severe obesity in children and teens published last year in the journal Obesity.

Unhealthy Habits Begin Early

When parents aren’t informed about nutrition, feeding, healthy habits, and teaching kids about money the whole family can get off track. For instance, when young children are offered sweets too early, they may develop a strong preference for those types of foods or flavors. Or, if they are encouraged to eat more food or finish their meal, they may learn to overeat rather than tune in to their appetite cues.

When the pudgy phase hits, parents may react by restricting access to indulgent foods. This may trigger kids to sneak food. Good parenting around food and establishing healthy habits throughout childhood are the keys to raising a healthy child.

Target the Parent, Not the Child

If we want to help kids, we need to help their parents first. In my experience, prevention and treatment look a lot alike, but the timing makes all the difference. When parents are educated early and often about nutrition, feeding and development, they have a better handle on what it takes to nourish and nurture a child, regardless of their shape or size.

From infant nutrition education delivered in birthing hospitals and parent-focused online education in the pediatrician’s office to delivering preventive education in the workplace, there are many opportunities to empower parents with the information they need to successfully raise healthy kids.

Parents are the change-makers, not the child, and certainly not an app.

Teens are getting too little sleep, not enough exercise and spending far too much time online. Research tells us so (if you need proof), and it’s also clear that when teens don’t take care of themselves, it can affect their mental health.

That’s all the more reason parents should teach their kids about the fundamentals of good self-care. And that means getting back to the basics, such as eating well, getting plenty of sleep and exercising more. That may be easier said than done, as adults know. But if you want your teen to live a healthier life, it’s important to pay attention to these three pillars of health.

Here’s what you should know about the benefits of these forms of self-care for kids – and what happens if they’re ignored.

Establishing Healthy Eating Habits

Most have heard the saying, “You are what you eat” – and nothing could be more accurate when it comes to food and mental fitness. Food choice really does have an impact on how we feel and look. For example, it’s not uncommon to hear people say that when they eat better, they feel better. The food we put in our mouths is the fuel that we run on. And when we opt for premium nutrients, we simply run better.

The same is true for our teens. Yet, too many of our young people run on junk food. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than a third of our nation’s youth eat fast food daily.

Research indicates that fuel choice may be hurting their bodies and mental health. In one study published in Physiological Reports, researchers followed 84 middle school students. They monitored sodium and potassium excretion and depressive symptoms for a year and a half. The findings suggested that for adolescents, consuming foods that are high in sodium, a mineral frequently found at high levels in junk food, and those that are low in potassium was related to an increase in depressive symptoms. The researchers concluded that poor diet was, in fact, a risk factor for depression.

What we eat impacts how we think, feel and act. That’s why it’s essential to help your teen establish healthy eating habits. Many teens gravitate toward junk food because it’s convenient and fits into their busy lifestyles, but that doesn’t have to be the case. It’s just as easy to opt for an apple as it is for a bag of chips. There is just no way around it – a healthy body helps support a healthy mind.

Sleeping More

The National Sleep Foundation recommends that children ages 14 to 18 sleep eight to 10 hours a night, but the vast majority of youth aren’t even coming close to that recommendation. On average, most teens get about 7.5 hours of sleep a night. It comes as no surprise that sleep deprivation takes a toll on their mood.

As reported by the American College of Neuropsychopharmacology, researchers at the University of Pittsburgh found that when teens experience sleep loss, even for short periods, it increased their risk for mood disorders. In this particular study, 35 participants, aged 11 1/2 to 15 years, were monitored in a sleep lab for two nights, with half of them sleeping for 10 hours and the remaining sleeping for four hours.

A week later, they returned to the lab and switched sleep schedules from their initial visit. During their time at the lab, they underwent brain scans monitoring the reward center of their brain while playing a game and also completed emotional functioning and depressive symptoms assessments. The data indicated that sleep deprivation affected the putamen, an area of the brain that is responsible for goal-based movements and learning from rewards.

Consequently, there was a link between sleep deprivation and their reported depressive symptoms, too. Participants who did not get enough sleep reported feeling more depressed than their well-rested peers.

Overall, the results suggested that inadequate sleep during adolescence may affect how the brain processes reward and increase the likelihood of depression and risk-taking behavior. When teens were sleep-deprived, they didn’t make the best choices. According to this study, sleep not only helps kids feel better, it also helps them make better choices.

Make sure that your teen is getting enough sleep by limiting screen time before bed and establishing a good bedtime routine, particularly on school nights when they are more apt to sleep less. It’s also important for kids to keep their phones away from their beds at night. Just a few simple tweaks in their bedtime routine can make all the difference, because a well-rested teen is a happier and healthier teen.

Exercising More

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services recommends that teens get at least an hour of moderate or vigorous physical activity each day. Still, according to a study in Preventive Medicine, young people are getting about as much exercise as a 60-year-old.

In Latin, there’s a saying: “mens sana in corpore sano.” When translated, it means: “a healthy mind in a healthy body.” And researchers have shown that a healthy body does indeed contribute to a healthy mind, especially when it comes to anxiety and depression.

A study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry reported that exercise could reduce the risk of developing depression. In this study, researchers monitored the physical activity of 266,939 participants from around the world for more than seven years. Their findings showed that when people were more active, their risk of developing depression decreased regardless of how old they were and where they lived.

These findings support a large body of literature that has linked physical activity with improved mood. In fact, there’s some evidence to suggest that exercise is as effective in treating depression as antidepressants. Now, that’s something to consider.

Establishing healthy habits begins early. It’s important to get our kids moving because an hour a day can go a long way toward promoting physical and mental well-being.

All things considered, it’s incredible how some of life’s most basic tasks, such as eating well, getting a good night’s sleep and exercising, can positively impact our children’s well-being. There’s just no way around it: A healthy body and a healthy mind really begin with the basics of self-care.

Even in the busyness of the holidays, you are confidently teaching teens about money principles. It’s easier than you think! And trust us—they will thank you later and it will also help your teens maintain a good mental health.

Jaime Alter, a mom from Chicago, IL, knows it can be next to impossible to get her two children, ages 7 and 9, to open up. “It used to be that I’d ask them ‘how was your day?’ and their standard response was ‘fine.’ She wanted to have deeper conversations with her kids but didn’t know how.

If Alter’s situation sounds familiar, Sarah J. Lynn, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist at the Livingston Center for Enrichment in NJ, suggests asking a more pointed question than ‘how was your day?’ Instead ask, ‘what made you smile or laugh today?’ And consistency is key. “Consistent family mealtime can provide security and also create opportunities for positive interactions among family members,” Dr. Lynn says. “If dinner during the week isn’t convenient, find another time like breakfast or by having meals together over the weekend.”

Then be sure to listen to what your kids have to say. “Show them that you’re listening by asking follow up questions or by reflecting back what you heard,” Dr. Lynn says. “If they have a concern or problem, don’t immediately tell them what to do. Encourage them to come up with some solutions on their own first. Then suggest other options if they’re having a hard time figuring out the best way to handle the situation.”.

You can also try to start a conversation without using questions. Share your own day’s activities including those moments that made you laugh or smile. “You want your children to welcome these family moments,” says Patricia Harte Bratt, Ph.D., director of Academy of Clinical and Applied Psychoanalysis (ACAP) and ACAP’s iStrive program, says. “It’s not the time to bring up problems, criticisms, or to push an agenda. The more you can model a curious, explorative attitude, the more your children will feel safe revealing themselves to you.”

Alter says she got much more detailed answers from her kids when she changed her approach to starting conversations. Now that you know how to get your kids talking, here are some conversations that are important to have as a family. And remember, no topic should be off-limits.

1. The News

Dr. Lynn says some topics may be scary, but your child is likely exposed to them in conversations with their peers, hearing it mentioned on TV, or seeing it online. In general, if your child asks about newsy topics like fires, accidents, or school shootings, keep the conversation aligned to their developmental levels. Ask them what they heard, and if they have any concerns. Be sure to remind your children that they are safe and secure, even if we don’t have all the answers.

2. Climate Change

When it comes to climate change, discuss all the things you can do as a family to help the environment. Brainstorm ways you can conserve energy like shutting off lights when you leave a room. Suggest picking out reusable water bottles and lunch bags to limit single-use plastics. Set out a recycling bin in your kitchen to encourage your kids to reduce waste. If we identify ways to address a problem, it can help children feel somewhat in control and that they are making a difference.

3. Special Needs and Disabilities

“When considering children with special needs, we often focus on what makes them different from us, rather than what makes us all alike,” Dr. Lynn says. “Help your children see the ways they are similar to those with special needs. Connecting these similarities helps your children build empathy for others.”

4. Politics

“If you want your child to talk to you, you need to discuss the pros and cons of a political decision without being judgmental,” Dr. Bratt said. Break down examples on more simplistic terms for young children. For older children, watch a news show or political debate and let your child know he can ask questions. If your child appears upset by a political outcome, or a political movement goes against your family’s values, encourage your kids to get involved and express their opinions. Even a young child can write a letter (with your help) to a local politician sharing their views, telling them how they’d like them to vote on a local bill or national cause, or asking how they can get involved.

5. Drugs, Alcohol, and Smoking

You and your child may have seen a character in a movie smoking or using drugs. Maybe your child knows an adult or a friend’s older sibling who smokes. Take advantage of those teachable moments by explaining how cigarettes, vaping, alcohol, and drugs can affect a person’s body. Both Dr. Lynn and Dr. Bratt said to keep this conversation simple. For little ones, break it down by talking about the harmful effects that these substances can have on the body. You can go into more detail for children ages 7 to 10.

6. Death

“Use simple words, listen, and be comforting,” says Dr. Bratt. You can talk about funerals and rituals. Give your child a chance to express his feelings about the deceased. If a relative, friend, or pet recently died, ask your child to talk about his feelings. Ask your child to remember what was so special about this person or pet.

Young children don’t understand the permanence of death. One of the best ways to explain this to young children is to watch Sesame Street’s episode of when Mr. Hooper died and read the related book, “I’ll Miss You, Mr. Hooper.” Be sure to watch with your children. Watching together can get the discussion started.

7. Bullying

“Not all topics are easy to talk about,” Dr. Bratt said. If you suspect your child has been bullied, understand that your child may be embarrassed to talk about it. Tell your child to speak up and tell the bully in a clear and calm manner to stop. If that is too hard or it doesn’t help, tell your child to walk away from the bully and to find a teacher who can intervene.

You should also tell your child it’s important to stop bullying. If your child sees someone being bullied, have him call a teacher to stop it. You don’t want your child to get hurt, but he can quietly find a teacher to put a stop to it.

If your child is bullying others, explain to him that his actions can deeply hurt others. If it continues, consider having your child meet with a counselor.

8. Mental Health

Along with asking kids ‘how was your day?’, parents should be sure to also ask “how are you?” to let kids know it’s alright to talk about their feelings. When it comes to discussing mental health, preschool-age children need less information and fewer details than elementary school kids. What works for both is to compare mental health to a physical ailment. Kids should be able to express feelings of sadness, stress, or depression in the same way they can tell you if they have a headache or their belly hurts.

If you want to explain a specific illness or symptom, do research on your own first and then use simple words. You can tell your child a person with that illness or condition may be feeling sad, anxious, angry, or may have trouble controlling one’s actions.

Both Dr. Lynn and Dr. Bratt said to explain treatments and solutions to your children. Kids know you go to a doctor when you have the flu. Let your child know that there are also special doctors and medication to help treat mental health issues.

9. Sex, Consent, And Boundaries

All children should learn about what is and what isn’t appropriate when it comes to touching or being touched. From age 2 to 5, children should learn about boundaries. Skip explicit details and focus on simple touch-based games—ask permission to tickle them and then have them tell you when to stop. Explain they should tell you when it’s not comfortable and emphasize that they can talk to you if they’ve ever felt they were inappropriately touched.

For children ages 6 through 10, establish rules about talking to strangers, sharing photos online, and “if they see something that makes them uncomfortable online or in-person, to discuss it with you,” Dr. Bratt says.

You can help your children to learn different things from the children’s books about economics and teach financial education for kids and life lessons.