Category: Parenting

For some children, even the best bedtime routine does not guarantee a great night’s sleep, but for most it is essential. Young children especially need to know that their day is coming to an end and that they are now required to settle down for the night. One of the best ways to do this is with a quiet moment or two, which is why today’s post is all about the importance of the bedtime story.

Babies and the bedtime story.

Babies are never too young for a bedtime story. Most babies are able to sit up and hold their heads by the age of six months, so this is an ideal time to think about introducing a book at bedtime. Some parents may even read a bedtime story sooner- only you will know whether or not it’s appropriate. Don’t expect to be able to get through an entire book in one sitting- choose shorter books with muted colors so that your infant can simply enjoy the process of page turning. Use this time to snuggle down together and mark the start of bedtime for your little one.

Older babies and the bedtime story.

From the age of around 12 months, your baby may be adapting their bedtime routine and may not be taking a feed before they sleep. They may also be more aware of things around them and winding down may take a little longer than it used to. Older babies and toddlers may already have a love of books and being read to, so a bedtime story can be ideal to help them to settle down for sleep. You may need to continue to keep the book brief and your little one may want to ‘help’ turn the pages for you but that’s fine. Let them enjoy the process as much as they can.

Toddlers and the bedtime story.

From the age of around 18 months, babies and toddlers are able to sit and concentrate on stories a lot better than they used to, and bedtime stories can become a cherished part of the day for many. Choose books together, talk about the pictures and let your little one help to turn the pages. Some children may like to read the same story over and over and in time they- and you!- will be able to recite stories easily. Agree on a limit to the number of books you read, as this part of the bedtime routine needs to stay relaxed. The last thing you want is an argument over ‘one more story’!

Why read a bedtime story?

Bedtime stories are not just essential for helping a child to go to bed nicely. Research has shown that reading aloud to a child significantly improves their ability to read and write, and strengthens their vocabulary and communication skills. Reading a bedtime story helps your child to grow and nurture a love for reading, a thirst for knowledge and a desire to learn more. It is also an ideal opportunity, especially for busy parents, to bond with your little ones. A little bit of quiet time at the end of day.

Less than half of all young children in the US are read to each day, which is astonishingly low. We asked some parents what they thought about bedtime stories and this is what they said:

It’s not unusual for younger babies to become impatient at story time and eventually they will learn to sit and concentrate for or longer periods of time. If you surround your child with books and make them available, the time will come where reading stories together is a much treasured part of the day, I promise!

There are variety of popular children book series available and with the help of those books you can learn how to teach kids about money, life skills and life lessons.

Pregnancy can be hot. In fact, with 40% more blood pumping through your body in order to nourish your baby, combined with the effort it takes to carry around an extra 20 to 30 pounds, your pregnant body is bound to get hot because of all the work it is expending. This also means that you sweat more and dehydrate more easily.

Even your heart has to work harder. Keep in mind, that it enlarges a little during pregnancy and moves to the side to accommodate the fact that your uterus now occupies more space in your body. Its increased size and new location means it also is working harder.

Consequently, with all these changes it is only natural that your body is working harder to cool your entire system. For this reason, it can be particularly easy for a pregnant body to overheat quickly. And, when this happens, both you and your baby could be at risk for complications.

What Is Considered Overheating?

When your temperature rises to 102 or 103 degrees Fahrenheit, this is considered overheating or hyperthermia. Typically, this temperature is caused by dehydration, spending too much time in the sun, or sitting for too long in a hot bath. But, sometimes there is an underlying medical condition, an illness like the flu, or an infection that causes such a high temperature.

Either way, overheating is not something you should ignore. Regardless of the root cause of your elevated temperature, when your body overheats, it is important to seek medical attention right away. There are too many risks associated with overheating to simply ignore your high temperature and hope that drinking some water and sitting in front of a fan will bring it down.

Symptoms of Overheating

Sometimes pregnant women will overheat and not even realize that their internal body temperature is elevated, especially on a hot summer day. Still, it is important to pay attention to how you are feeling. Getting overheated while pregnant can be a big deal, especially if the high temperature is prolonged. Here are some signs that your body may be overheating:

• Feeling weak, tired, or lethargic
• Experiencing dizziness or like the room is spinning
• Feeling lightheaded, off balance, or like you might faint
• Experiencing extreme thirst, dehydration, or reduced urine output
• Feeling sick to your stomach
• Experiencing chills or excessive clamminess
• Sweating profusely that does not stop despite attempts to cool off
• Feeling like your mouth is filled with cotton or very dry
• Having cracked, dry lips

In extreme cases, you may even begin to vomit or even experience painful contractions. If this happens, do not delay in getting medical attention right away.

Causes of Overheating in Pregnancy

While there are any number of reasons why you may begin to overheat, there are some factors that are more likely to elevate your body’s temperature than others. For this reason, it is extremely important that you use caution when you are pregnant, especially when it is hot outside or you are in a warm area. Some examples of contributing factors include:

• Being physically active for an excessive amount of time, especially in hot conditions
• Walking or hiking for a long time on a very hot day
• Participating in strenuous exercises for an extended period of time
• Engaging in exercises in a poorly ventilated gym or workout area
• Sitting in a sauna or a hot tub
• Spending long hours at the beach or pool on a very hot day
• Soaking in a very hot bath for an extended period of time
• Developing an infection or an illness like the flu
• Getting a really bad sunburn

Risks Associated With Overheating

At first, overheating may not seem like that big of a deal. After all, when you aren’t pregnant, you usually just need to drink more water and cool off if you feel yourself getting hot. But when you are pregnant it is not always that simple. Your temperature can rise quickly if you are not careful. And if it does, there are a number of risks to both you and your baby.

In fact, research indicates that when your body temperature reaches 103, that it can lead to neural tube defects in your baby, which usually means that the neural tube fails to close after 25 days of conception.

Overheating has been linked to fetal growth retardation, intrauterine deaths (stillbirth), and neural abnormalities. Finally, a high fever also can lead to a cleft lip and palate in the baby. Here are some additional ways that overheating can impact you and your developing baby.

Causes Dehydration

When your temperature is above 102 for longer than 10 minutes, both you and your baby will be impacted. It also can cause you to become dehydrated and when that happens it can put a strain on the liver and the kidneys for both you and the baby. In severe cases, dehydration can cause swelling of the brain, kidney failure, seizures, and even death. For this reason, it is important that pregnant women drink at least eight to 12 glasses of water a day, and sometimes more when factoring in exercising and hot climates.

Impacts Amniotic Fluid Levels

Amniotic fluid, found in the amniotic sac, is what surrounds the baby and protects it from the external world. It also is what allows the baby to move freely and develop. And it plays a crucial role in helping to regulate the temperature so that your baby does not get too hot or too cold. But when a pregnant women overheats or becomes severely dehydrated, this can impact the level of amniotic fluid available to the baby. When this happens, there is a greater risk of birth defects, miscarriage, and even pre-term labor.

Causes Pre-Term Labor

Overheating later in pregnancy can lead to pre-term labor or irritable uterus. With an irritable uterus, contractions can feel like Braxton Hicks, but sufferers are nearly twice as likely to go into labor early. Not only can dehydration result in pre-term labor, but it also can lead to complications such as a compressed umbilical cord.

Increases Urinary Tract Infections

Overall, pregnant women are more prone to urinary tract infections primarily due to hormonal changes. Combine this with the fact that dehydration and overheating also increases the likelihood of UTIs, and you can see why the chances of getting a UTI are a natural consequence for pregnant women. And, when left untreated, research has shown that UTIs have been linked to low birth weight and pre-term labor.

Tips for Avoiding Overheating

You probably already know that you shouldn’t sit in a hot tub or spend any time in a sauna when you are pregnant. You may even know that taking a really hot shower or bath is not a good idea. But what may surprise you is the fact that you can get overheated taking a walk on a hot day, especially if you are dressed too warmly. It’s also easy to get overheated during your exercise class, especially if the gym is hot or poorly ventilated. Here are some additional tips to help you prevent overheating.

Stay Hydrated

While everyone should drink more water, for pregnant women staying hydrated is particularly important. Water not only helps keep you cool, but it also helps reduce swollen hands and ankles. Try carrying water with you wherever you, especially if you are traveling. Do not wait until get thirsty to drink water because by then it may be too late.

Staying hydrated also means you should cut out caffeine as well. Most doctors indicate that you should avoid caffeine while pregnant. Aside from the impact caffeine has on your developing baby, it also increases blood pressure and the temperature of your body. It also can lead to dehydration, especially if you are drinking soda instead of water. If you really just cannot stomach the idea of another glass of water, try adding fruit like lemon or orange to your water, or opt for a smoothie instead.

Avoid Prolonged Exercises

In fact, you should not exercise more than 45 minutes at a time and stick to low-impact exercises. Water aerobics is a great activity to do while you are pregnant because it not only puts very little stress on your body, but it also takes place in a cool and refreshing environment.

But if water aerobics is not your thing, be sure that you exercise in a cool, well-ventilated area. For this reason, you should avoid exercise environments that are intended to be hot like “hot yoga.” Remember, if you are overexerting yourself for extended periods of time or working out in extremely hot or humid conditions, chances are high that you will overheat. Doing moderate exercises in normal temperatures results in a minimal increase in core body temperatures.

Wear Loose Clothing

When choosing your maternity clothing, the key is to look for light and loose clothing. You want to wear breathable, natural fabrics such as cotton. You also should look for things that fit loosely or “flow” with your body. These types of garments allow the air to circulate. It also helps to make sure your shoes allow your feet to breathe. Even if it is winter, you want to wear comfortable shoes that allow your feet some room. Also, keep color in mind too when choosing your clothes. Black tends to absorb sunlight and make you feel warmer when you are outside. Meanwhile, sunlight bounces off light-colored clothing.

Eat Cool Foods

Water-rich fruits and vegetables can do wonders at helping you keep cool. Some good options include melons, berries, cucumbers, oranges, and grapefruits. Even raw lettuce, celery, and carrots can help keep you cool. If you want something a little different, try popsicles made with fresh juices or a cold soup. Even a little natural yogurt with fresh fruit can be a cooling choice. And while ice cream sometimes isn’t tolerated by all pregnant women, if you are able to eat, it can be a refreshing treat as well.

Look for Shade

If you live in or are visiting, a hot climate, be sure you take precautions. Staying outside in the hot sun can be taxing on your body even if you are diligent about your water intake. As a result, try to limit the amount of time you spend in extreme summer heat. Try going outside in the mornings or in the evenings when the sun is not as hot and the temperatures are cooler. And, if your area is experiencing a heat advisory, be sure to do what you can to stay inside in a cool environment.

If you have to be outside at a family event or a work function on a hot day, look for some relief from the heat. Stay in the shade if you can. And, if the opportunity to go inside exists, take advantage of it. There is nothing wrong with sitting in an air-conditioned house or in front of a fan while you are pregnant. If you are at a park and there are limited options for cooling off, limit your stay or take a break in the car with the air-conditioner running. You should never feel bad for taking the time to cool off. Doing so shows your wisdom and responsibility when it comes to being pregnant.

While the risks of overheating are real, this does not mean you have to stay indoors all the time or avoid exercising. In fact, you absolutely should get outside and enjoy the fresh air. What’s more, exercising during pregnancy is encouraged for most pregnant women. As long as your doctor says it is OK, you should be able to exercise in moderation in a cool environment. Just be sure to stay cool and hydrated. And, listen to your body. If something feels off, do not push yourself. After all, you have a growing baby inside of you to consider as well.

As well as with yoga, you must focused on your Kids nutrition and ensures a well balanced combination of protein, calcium, iron and the B vitamins in their diet.

When you’re an hourly worker, parental leave is seldom guaranteed, but a patchwork of solutions can help.

The Gist

• Get educated about your eligibility for job-protected, unpaid leave under the Family Medical Leave Act and equivalent state and city laws.
• Check your employee handbook, calculate your sick leave and, if you’re in a union, see if it has negotiated parental leave. 
• Know your rights concerning pregnancy discrimination and accommodations for pregnancy-related disabilities, including recovery from childbirth.
• Call a legal hotline so an attorney can advise you in advance, and find an advocate in your community.
• Talk to co-workers to see what leave they got; and when you tell your boss about your pregnancy, take notes and be on alert for discriminatory remarks. 

Although decades of research have shown that all parents need time off to care for their child — and to care for themselves — one in four American women returns to work less than two weeks after having a baby.

Of the nearly 20 percent of people who work part-time, two-thirds are women in low-wage jobs. Many hourly or low-wage workers can’t afford to take unpaid time off — and few get paid leave. Only 4 percent of the lowest-paid private-sector workers get paid leave, compared to 27 percent of professionals. The United States is one of only two countries in the world without a national paid family leave policy. And while the federal Family Medical Leave Act gives eligible workers the right to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected time off, it covers only 60 percent of the workforce.

For this guide, I consulted researchers, sociologists, women’s rights advocates, an economist and attorneys to find out how hourly workers can understand and exercise their rights to parental leave. 

Know your federal rights

Under the F.M.L.A., you are eligible for 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected time off only if you work for a company with more than 50 employees within a 75-mile radius and have worked at your job at least 1,250 hours (24 hours weekly) during the previous year. Married or unmarried workers, regardless of sexual orientation, are eligible if the child is biological, adopted, a foster child, a stepchild, a legal ward or a child of a person acting “in loco parentis” — in place of a parent. Jared Make, senior staff attorney and director of LGBTQ rights at the legal advocacy organization A Better Balance, said, “Generally, if you’re raising a child and engaged in day-to-day parenting responsibilities, you are acting in loco parentis and can qualify as a parent for bonding leave.” A Better Balance has an overview of LGBTQ rights under the F.M.L.A.

Federal law gives you rights even before you give birth: The Pregnancy Discrimination Act and Americans with Disabilities Act make it illegal for employers with 15 or more employees to treat you unfairly while you’re pregnant or, in certain cases, if you have a pregnancy-related medical disability, such as gestational diabetes or cervical incompetence. 

Know your local rights

State and local laws may provide additional benefits. California, New Jersey, Rhode Island and New York provide paid family and medical leave benefits covering most private-sector workers in their states, said Molly Weston Williamson, senior staff attorney at A Better Balance. Washington State and Washington, D.C., will provide paid leave in 2020, and Massachusetts will do so in 2021. (See this quick reference chart.) The organization also has a guide to search your state rights nationwide.

In 25 states, the District of Columbia and four cities, laws require employers to provide reasonable accommodations for pregnant workers. If you are terminated right after birth, that could also be considered pregnancy discrimination, Williamson said.

If you live in California, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Puerto Rico or Hawaii, you may qualify for Temporary Disability Insurance. “This law gives you the right to money in your pocket to partially make up for the loss of your paycheck when you’re unable to work due to ‘off-the-job’ — meaning not workers’ comp — illness or injury,” said Williamson. Your benefits may kick in if you have a pregnancy-related disability. “When you have given birth, your doctor will certify you for a period of time as disabled for purposes of T.D.I.,” said Williamson. Women in these states can organize maternity leave this way: disability benefits for recovery from childbirth followed by paid family leave benefits for bonding. The terms and the amount of money you get differ per state.

No federal laws guarantee paid sick leave, a worst-case option. Check to see if you live in one of the 11 states or district that have paid sick time laws on the books. 

Assess Your Situation

Think hard about your relationship with your boss and whether you feel safe coming forward, said Shilpa Phadke, vice president of the Women’s Initiative at the Center for American Progress: “The power dynamic between your boss and you is real.” Understand the dynamics of the workplace, and see who else has taken leave, Phadke suggested.

When Melissa Carlile-Price, an actor and restaurant worker, told her shift manager at Union Square Café in New York that she was pregnant, the manager immediately asked her what she needed. She wanted to work eight hours maximum and no double-shifts. Management agreed. In her third trimester, her manager kept her on the first floor so she wouldn’t have to climb stairs. These concessions made pregnancy while waiting tables more tolerable, she said. “The management team was constantly checking in on me, making sure I was comfortable, drinking water and getting breaks.” She wasn’t eligible for F.M.L.A. leave, but the human resources department guided her and her husband, a caterer, through New York State’s Paid Family Leave, which gave them job-protected paid time off.

Not everyone is so fortunate.

Clayshawn Wilson had been working for six months as a relief manager for an ezStorage facility in Maryland when she delivered her fourth child. Because she did not qualify for F.M.L.A., she returned to work five days after the birth. “I couldn’t afford to lose my job,” she said. She took three days off without pay, in addition to the two unpaid off-shift days she had. She suffered from severe back and belly-button pain, and although her doctor had asked for accommodations, she received none, she said.

She spent her days cleaning storage doors and bathrooms, sweeping, vacuuming and renting units. Terrified of being homeless with four kids, she did not quit. But things did not end well. The company fired Wilson, who went on to collect unemployment. Calls and messages left for Nancy Delach, ezStorage’s HR manager, were not returned.

Unionized workers have some protection against being dismissed from their jobs if they ask for leave, unlike their nonunion counterparts. “It’s also safer for them to make the request,” said Ruth Milkman, professor of sociology at the City University of New York Graduate Center. “Under most union contracts, workers can only be fired for good cause — in contrast to nonunion workers who fall under ‘employment at will’ and can fired at any time,” she said.

If you don’t feel safe coming forward individually, consider banding together with others, suggested Vicki Shabo, vice president at the National Partnership for Women & Families. Under the National Labor Relations Act, employers cannot retaliate against employees for talking about their benefits with one other. 

Prepare before telling your boss

Remember that you’re asking for something reasonable and be ready for a variety of reactions. Our experts recommended the following approach:

Go into the conversation with eyes open. “Talk to employees who have been through it before, bring it up with human resources, check employee handbooks and make sure you’re up on federal and state law,” said Elizabeth Gedmark, senior staff attorney and director of the Southern Office at A Better Balance.

Go in with a plan. “If you work at a retail outlet, maybe there’s another employee who works part-time who would be willing to pick up extra shifts,” said Morris. Reassure your boss that you’re committed to the job, and that your job is critically important to your family’s financial security. “For most decent human beings, hearing that someone’s income is critical to putting food on the table and a roof over their baby’s head, that will go a long way.”

Take careful notes. “When you go in to talk to your boss or HR about your pregnancy, write down the date, time, who was there and any comments that may have offended you,” said Gedmark. “Note if your boss said ‘Joe had surgery and needed time off — but we can’t do that for you.’ Write down anything that can be considered ‘discriminatory intent,’ ” she said.

Email those notes to yourself on your personal email. They should be time-stamped.

Stress that turnover costs make you worth keeping. If you earn less than $30,000 annually, it costs 16 percent of your salary to replace you. Remind your boss of indirect costs. “It matters if everyone in your shop knows that you fired a pregnant woman who asked to take a month off work,” said Morris. 

If you have to quit to get leave, stay in touch. “Even if you don’t have job protection, tell your employer that you will reapply for your job after you have the baby, and stay in touch while you are on leave, so they don’t forget you,” said Brown.

At the time of pregnancy, managing your wife’s emotions is a difficult thing because she needs more care and attention, if you want to learn more about it then please drop your comments in the comment section.

A YouGov online survey created in collaboration with NYT Parenting found that some parents are going into debt to pay for child care.

After the birth of her second child, Erica Jefferson of Rapid City, S.D., was faced with a choice: Pay her student loan bills or pay more than $1,000 a month for day care. She chose the latter.

Keeping her job — she works as a claims processor for a funeral insurance company — was a necessity. Her husband, a veteran, was injured in the military and cannot work or physically care for their 18-month-old.

“That became a real struggle for us,” she said.

Having already exhausted her ability to defer her student loans, she opted for forbearance, a repayment option that typically requires only interest payments, but fell behind on those payments as well.

“My kids, they always have clothes on their backs, new shoes — they’re always well fed — but for me …,” her voice trailed off. “I have to pay day care. I have to pay rent.”

Ms. Jefferson, 32, is certainly not alone in the struggle to pay for child care. While there has been a lot written about the high costs of child care in general, we wanted to learn more about how day care and preschool expenses are affecting parents right now.

NYT Parenting worked with YouGov, an international polling and market research company, to create a brief online survey that offers a quick, informal snapshot of the costs faced by parents of children around the country enrolled in preschool or day care. Of the 1,027 parents who responded, 28 percent reported that day care and preschool expenses were a “very significant financial strain,” and 20 percent reported going into debt to manage these expenses.

[Finding the right day care can be a long journey.]

According to YouGov, the median amount spent on preschool and day care was $400 a month, and 22 percent of the parents said they spend $1,000 or more.

YouGov collected the data between Aug. 1 and 6, drawing respondents from a database of 1.2 million people who agreed to take online surveys. The survey represented parents from a cross-section of the country, about half of whom reported living in a city.

One limitation of the study, aside from its small sample size, was the use of unverified self-reported data gathered online. In addition, when the respondents were asked about their day care and preschool costs, they were not asked to distinguish whether their costs derived from day care, preschool or both.

The survey did not include costs associated with nannies or babysitters, which can also drain a family’s finances.

Child care has become one of the biggest expenses faced by families in the United States. According to the Economic Policy Institute, annual infant care, on average, costs thousands of dollars, ranging from about $5,400 in Mississippi to more than $24,000 in Washington, D.C.

The costs are so great, they can absorb one person’s entire salary.

Maya Polack, 35, of Scotch Plains, N.J., left her career as a high school teacher in 2014 after her family was confronted with the high cost of child care.

“We looked at day care costs and quickly realized my salary would solely be for day care, gas, mileage, etc.,” she said. “So we had to ask ourselves: Do I love work enough? Because I would be working to keep our son in day care.”

Ms. Polack, now a mother of three, said she made the right decision for her family.

“In the end, it’s wonderful because I get to watch these three crazy monsters grow up,” she said. “For me, going back to work wouldn’t be a break from the kiddos but rather dealing with 200 more kiddos. And I really don’t see how I could have been a great teacher while being a great mother because of how much time is carved out for the students.”

Other parents said they try to navigate the huge burdens of child care by spacing their children far enough apart to minimize day care costs.

Despite the high costs involved, day care workers barely make a living wage. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average hourly wage for child day care services is $11.11.

Kristy DeConti, who owns Natural Learning Community Children’s School in Weatogue, Conn., has a master’s degree in early childhood special education and two decades of experience working in child care. Her yearly salary amounts to about $30,000, she said, and her seven employees earn between $13.25 and $16.50 an hour.

“I struggle with the same things everybody else does. I have $40,000 in student loan debt. I have two children. I have to pay for before- and aftercare for my older one,” she said. “But I don’t think people see that side of it.”

Ms. DeConti’s 3-year-old attends her day care, which saves money, but also reduces the number of children she can enroll.

“If I filled that spot, then that’s almost $13,000 more that I could be making a year,” she said.

Connecticut voted this year to raise the state minimum wage to $15 by 2023.

“I mean, I just don’t even know what I’ll do,” Ms. DeConti said. “Each year we’re trying to slowly increase tuition so we don’t lose a lot of families, but at the same time me and my family are barely surviving financially because of that.”

As for Ms. Jefferson in South Dakota, she said she fell so far behind on her federal student loans that this year the Internal Revenue Service took her entire $8,000 tax refund, money her family was counting on to replace a car that had broken down.

But in recent months, after earning extra money from overtime, Ms. Jefferson has begun making payments toward her student loans again. Her family’s budget still remains tight.

“I’m supposed to get paid tomorrow,” she said in an interview last week. “And right now I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to pay some of the bills, and buy food and diapers.

Everyone has to maintain a financial budget and how much money should you save before having a baby, it’s difficult thing but you can learn about it just drop your comments in the comment section.

There are many myths out there about food allergies, from the belief that parents overreact about food allergies and they don’t exist to the idea that kids are allergic to everything.

Food allergies are common, but not as common as some parents believe.

That leads us to one of the first myths about food allergies.

1) Any Symptom That You Have After Eating a Food Is a Food Allergy

Food allergies do occur in up to 6 to 8% of children, but many more parents think that their children have reactions to foods that aren’t really caused by allergic reactions. Instead, these children may have a lactose intolerance, food aversion, or other symptoms that have nothing to do with allergies, such as gas and hyperactivity.

Unlike food intolerances, true food allergies occur when a food triggers an immune system mediated reaction. This reaction involves the antibody IgE (immunoglobulin E), which causes certain immune system cells to release histamine, leading to most of the symptoms of a food allergy. If your children have behavioral problems, it might just be the food they are eating. Kids food sensitivities are common but as a parent you take care of these sensitivities.

2) Only Certain Foods Can Cause Food Allergies

It is true that only certain foods are most likely to cause food allergies, but children can be allergic to almost any food, including many fruits and vegetables (oral allergy syndrome). The foods that are most likely to cause food allergies, so-called “allergy foods,” include eggs, milk, peanuts, nuts, soy, wheat, fish, and shellfish.

3) Kids Won’t Outgrow Their Food Allergies

It depends on what they are allergic to, but kids actually can outgrow many food allergies if they completely avoid them (elimination diet) for two or three years. For example, more than 85% of children outgrow allergies to milk, but fewer outgrow allergies to peanuts, tree nuts or seafood.

Still, about 20% of children may outgrow their allergy to peanuts.

4) Peanuts Are the Most Common Food Allergy in Children

Peanut allergies may be the most likely to cause life-threatening allergic reactions (anaphylaxis), but a cow’s milk allergy is the most common food allergy in young children.

5) A Positive Antibody Level Means You’re Allergic to One or More Foods

This is not necessarily true. Some of the newer allergy tests that have become popular, including the RAST and Immunocap RAST, don’t give a simple “yes or no” answer about your child’s allergies. Instead, they give an antibody level, which can range from negative or low to very high. Children with negative or low antibody levels and even moderate levels may not actually be allergic to those foods, so those test results must be interpreted based on the symptoms the child has when he eats those foods.

For example, if RAST testing indications low levels of antibodies for egg whites, but your child eats eggs every day and never has symptoms of a food allergy, then he likely isn’t allergic to eggs.

Interpreting these allergy tests incorrectly is one reason that some kids get diagnosed with multiple food allergies or are told that they are “allergic to everything.”

6) Cooking a Food Makes It Less Allergenic

Proteins are the part of the food that triggers an allergic reaction and some people believe that cooking a food alters the protein enough so that your child won’t be allergic to it anymore. That is why some believe some kids can be allergic to eggs, but still eat a cake that was made with eggs.

According to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology, most foods “can still cause reactions even after they are cooked,” although “some allergens (most often from fruit and vegetables) cause allergic reactions only if eaten before being cooked.”

7) If You Are Allergic to a Food, It’s OK to Sometimes Eat Small Amounts

This is a dangerous myth. Just because your child didn’t have a reaction after eating a small amount of a food he is allergic to one time, that doesn’t mean that he won’t have a more serious reaction next time. Also, since the best way to outgrow a food allergy is to practice a strict elimination diet, in which you don’t eat the food for a few years, eating small amounts of the food from time to time may decrease your child’s chances of outgrowing his food allergies.

8) Food Allergies Aren’t Real

Food allergies are real. And yes, some people are so allergic to foods that they have reactions if foods are simply made using the same utensils or if they touch the food and don’t actually eat it.

Because food allergies are so serious, be sure to respect a child’s food allergies and alert parents and children when a food might have been made with a food that they are allergic to.

9) It Is Easy to Avoid Foods Your Child Is Allergic To

While it may be easy to avoid the whole foods that your child is allergic to, like milk and eggs, the real problem is that many of these types of foods are ingredients in other foods. So the hard part about avoiding allergic foods is trying to figure out what is actually in the foods that you are thinking about feeding to your allergic child.

Reading food labels of processed foods and asking about the ingredients of foods when you go to a restaurant, your child eats out at school or eats at the home of a friend or family member can help detect hidden ingredients that your child may be allergic to.

10) Food Allergies Aren’t Serious

Food allergies can be deadly.

Each year, there are about 150 deaths a year from severe allergic reactions from foods.

In many cases, a younger child or teenager with a known food allergy might eat the food they are allergic to and may not survive a life-threatening allergic reaction in the following situations:

• At school in a cooking class (a 16-year-old who ate a walnut in Chinese food)
• Eating a cookie on a school outing (a 9-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating bread at home (a 16-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating an egg roll (a-12-year old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a wrap (an 18-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a cookie at a friend’s home (a 17-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating candy at a friend’s home (a 17-year-old allergic to hazelnuts)
• Eating peanut butter at camp (a 17-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating peanuts at home (a 5-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Drinking milk at camp (a 9-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating an egg roll at a restaurant (a 14-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Drinking a protein shake at home (a 17-year-old allergic to milk)
• Drinking a chocolate mix drink at home (a 7-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating a candied apple at a carnival (an 11-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a wrap at a fast food restaurant in a mall (a 13-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a cookie at a friend’s home (a 16-year-old allergic to peanuts)

These are among some of the cases reported in a registry maintained by the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology and The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network and are just a few of the deaths from food allergies that occurred between over the years.

If your child has a food allergy, be sure to teach him how to identify and avoid foods that he should avoid, and make sure that he always has an EpiPen available in case he has a serious allergic reaction.

Giving baby a bath without harming that delicate skin is one more minefield for new parents to traverse. Here are a few tips.

When you bring your baby home, you also bring home a bundle of new questions. Everyone has different opinions on the best way to do everything when it comes to raising babies; even a simple question like, “How often should I bathe this kid?” can turn into a heated debate. To help you navigate the minefield of parenting advice, I spoke to a few experts to get the dirt on keeping baby clean.

How do I keep my new baby clean?

It may be tempting to follow the lead of commercials, slathering your baby daily in sweet-smelling soaps in the cute tub you got for your baby shower, then bundling her up in an adorable hooded towel. But hold on, doctors warn: Newborns and infants have delicate skin, and a soapy bath every day can do more harm than good.

“Over-bathing an infant may dry out the skin, making it itchy and rashy,” explained Dr. Kelly M. Cordoro, M.D., a professor of dermatology and pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco who practices at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. “An important distinction here is ‘bathing’ with soaps or other cleansers, versus ‘soaking’ in just water.” Dr. Cordoro, who is also a committee chair for the Society for Pediatric Dermatology, advises new parents to use soap conservatively. “It can be very irritating and unnecessary, as it can wash away the top layer of protective skin cells, natural oils and normal healthy bacteria, leaving the skin dry, itchy and vulnerable to irritation and possibly skin infections.”

Experts suggest a warm bath at bedtime can be helpful in getting an otherwise unwilling baby to rest, but there’s no need to use cleansers that often. A 10-15 minute soak in warm water followed by a liberal coating of moisturizer does the trick, leaving baby cozy and relaxed without the potentially damaging effects of soap on the skin. According to Dr. Cordoro, soapy baths no more than three times a week are sufficient as long as diaper areas are thoroughly cleaned at changing time.

Since bathing can be stressful in the beginning, there are a few things all parents should keep in mind:

• Always check the temperature of bath water. Baby skin is delicate and can scald easily. Check the water with your elbow, which is more sensitive to temperature than your hand. The water should be close to normal body temperature and feel neither hot nor cold to the touch.
• Never leave children unattended in the bath. Accidents can happen in a split second. Infants can slide from their bathing seats, and toddlers can slip and bump their heads. Err on the side of caution and, if you need to leave the room, ask another adult to step in — or grab a towel and take your child with you.
• Babies who are too young to sit unassisted should be bathed in an infant tub with a removable sling or seat that helps support their weight and keeps them from slipping. As babies get older and can sit on their own, the sling can be removed, allowing the baby to sit up in the tub. If a full-size tub must be used, ensure there is a non-slip mat in the bottom to prevent slips.

What if my baby has a skin condition?

Eczema, the name for a group of skin conditions including atopic dermatitis, contact dermatitis and seborrheic dermatitis, is characterized by red, itchy, localized skin inflammation. It’s one of the most common childhood skin issues, affecting about 10 percent of children under 18, according to the National Institutes of Health.

It may seem counterintuitive to give as few as two baths per week to babies with eczema; you want to keep inflamed areas clean, right? But soap and other cleansers can worsen eczema or make an infant more likely to develop the condition, especially if there’s a family history.

In her practice, Dr. Cordoro recommends that parents use a bathing method she calls “soaking and sealing”: soaking the infant in lukewarm water without using soap, then patting dry and applying a gentle moisturizer “to seal in the moisture layer.” Applying a moisturizer to infant skin daily, not just after baths, can decrease the risk of eczema developing or worsening.

What about my older child?

Toddlers and preschoolers live life like it’s their job to get dirty. Surely you need to bathe them every day, right? Maybe not, according to Connecticut-based pediatric dermatologist Dr. Brittany Craiglow.

“Bathing should increase in frequency as children age, but this doesn’t mean that a daily bath is always necessary,” she said. “It is perfectly fine to spot clean when kids get messy with paint or markers, for instance.” Break out the wipes or the wet wash-cloth to clean obvious messes and diaper areas, but save the soap for days when toddlers or preschoolers do what they do best: “If they truly get dirty — such as from playing in the mud — then a bath is a better option.”

There are other exceptions to the no-soap rule. “Kids also should have a bath after being outdoors wearing sunscreen and/or bug spray, swimming or sweating,” Dr. Craiglow said. Soap should be used in these scenarios, but for routine bathing stick to using it only on feet and diaper areas, particularly if kids are prone to dry skin.

What soaps are best?

Infant care is a multi-billion dollar industry, raking in close to $17 billion annually, and skin care products make up a large percentage of overall sales, according to the market research firm Grand View Research. The glut of products on the market coupled with flashy advertising and keywords that trigger the ever-present “mom-guilt” make it difficult to sniff out what’s actually best for your baby versus who simply has the best marketing campaign.

Dr. Cordoro advises parents to use the less-is-more approach when choosing grooming products for their children: “It is best to avoid or reduce fragrances, perfumes, dyes and other additives when it comes to cleansers and moisturizers, especially if your child has sensitive skin or eczema.” Does that mean parents should opt for the more expensive organic products? Bear in mind that aromatics, botanicals and essential oils can trigger allergic reactions just as synthetic ingredients can. Some organic ingredients can also dry skin or worsen skin problems like eczema.

If your baby has a known skin condition, your safest bet is to consult with your pediatrician or dermatologist before choosing any topical grooming products. As with everything parenting-related, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. What works best for your baby may not be what works best for someone else’s child — or even what worked best for your other children. Talk to your child’s health care provider and do what works best for your baby. If your children have behavioral problems, it might just be the food they are eating. Kids food sensitivities are common but as a parent you take care of these sensitivities.

Modeling healthy digital habits has become more and more challenging as our smartphones become intertwined with nearly every aspect of our lives.

In my household, my husband and I use our iPhones for everything: reading the newspapers, reading books, finding and cooking from recipes, listening to music, chatting with family members and taking and looking at pictures. As the mom of a 2.5-year-old, I am often angry at “experts” who want me to limit my “screen time” in front of my kid. How is reading a recipe from a cookbook, reading the paper from a physical copy, listening to music via a CD player or answering a corded phone better? Should we go back to being Luddites? What is the answer?

— Muna Shikaki of Washington, D.C.

We loved this question for many reasons.

First, while there’s a lot of guidance about how often children should use digital technology and which types of technology are best, technology use among parents is still an emerging field of research. The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, has a policy statement about media and young minds. But there’s no comparable advice for parents on managing our own phone use in front of our kids.

Second, as on-demand technology has become intertwined with nearly every aspect of our lives, many parents — myself included — find ourselves using our devices even more often than we did just a few years ago.

We’ve heard the warnings about chronically distracted parenting, and often feel guilty if we glance at our phones instead of hanging on our toddler’s every word. But avoiding our devices altogether seems unrealistic.

In my family, our phones are used for everything Ms. Shikaki mentioned and more, including buying toilet paper in bulk, checking the weather and depositing checks — mine also functions as our new TV remote after our 2-year-old accidentally broke the original. So how do we create boundaries with our smartphones? Is it even possible to set limits?

Parents have always had distractions. But the temptation offered by a smartphone — where anything you need or want is immediately accessible — can be very different, experts say. We know we shouldn’t look at our phones so much, but we can’t turn away.

That’s by design, said Brandon McDaniel, Ph.D., a research scientist at the Parkview Research Center in Fort Wayne, Ind., who studies digital disruptions, or “technoference,” and the ways in which technology affects families and children.

“When in the course of human history have we had a device as powerful as this that has been in our pocket or in our hand at every single moment of our waking lives?” he asked.

It’s crucial to realize that we use our phones a lot more than we think we do, Dr. McDaniel said. Americans check their phones an average of 52 times a day according to one study. Another study, which surveyed more than 2,300 parents of children age 8 and younger, found that parents use their smartphones an average of 1 hour and 34 minutes per day while they’re at home (and that doesn’t include time spent talking or texting).

“If we don’t become mindful of our use while we’re around our very young children — our infants and our toddlers and our preschoolers — then that’s very problematic because they rely on us so much to learn how relationships work, to feel cared for, to have their needs met,” Dr. McDaniel said.

There are no blanket rules to follow: It might take some trial and error, and it’s up to each family to figure out what works best. But here are a few techniques that may help you become more thoughtful and intentional about how you use your phone when you’re with your children.

Tell your child what you’re doing online.

When we tap and scroll on our screens, children can no longer see and hear what we’re doing: Context disappears, we gaze downward and our expressions go blank.

Sometimes that’s O.K.

Children don’t need to know everything, and obviously parents need to have private moments both online and offline. The difficulty comes when children start to feel shut out — as though the screen often takes precedence over their needs.

Taking a bit of time to explain what you’re doing on your phone can help children understand why you’re distracted while also demonstrating that digital devices can be used in the context of relationships and problem solving.

Here’s how it might work: Imagine a hypothetical situation where you just picked up your child from day care and your partner texts to ask if you’ll pick up dinner on the way home.

“You can say to your child, ‘Oh, Daddy asked us to stop at the supermarket and buy a chicken, let’s write him back and tell him that we’ll get a chicken for him.’ And you can actually show the screen — just like with a storybook you can point at the words,” said Rebecca Parlakian, the senior director of parenting programs at Zero to Three, a nonprofit research and training organization for early childhood development in Washington, D.C.

“The more that we point out text in our child’s life,” she added, “the more that they learn the symbolic nature of the words that they see in the world around them.”

Pick a time to focus on your phone.

A 2018 study co-authored by Dr. McDaniel found that the more stressed out parents were, the more often digital disruptions happened. They also found that these disruptions can displace opportunities for parent-child connection that are important to child health and development.

But sometimes you just need to pay a bill, text your friends or order some more toilet paper, without turning it into a teachable moment.

Sometimes you need to unwind with a funny video: Raising young children can be tedious and exhausting.

“It’s not helpful to say parents are to blame and to add more guilt onto them,” Dr. McDaniel said. “Although, we should realize that parents ultimately do have more power in the parent-child relationship and so should be responsible.”

If you need (or want) to use your phone for an extended period of time, set aside a block of time where you can focus uninterrupted, perhaps while your child is napping, or at the end of the day.

“I think what’s so hard about devices is they’re ever-present and so it really takes some discipline on the part of the adult to be able to think ‘What do I have to do on my phone? When can I find the least intrusive time to do that?’” said Roberta Schomburg,executive director of the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and Children’s Media.

Create technology-free zones.

Each of the experts I spoke with emphasized the importance of setting aside time to be fully present with your child, without interference from a device. By designating technology-free zones in your home or technology-free periods during the day, Dr. McDaniel said, families can create more opportunities for meaningful interaction.

Some parents might choose to put away their phones the moment they come home from work and pick them up again after their children go to sleep. Others might make a rule to never bring a phone into their child’s bedroom.

“You’re going to have to try and try and try again to figure out what works and does not work” in order to maximize the quality of the time that you spend with your children, Dr. McDaniel said, adding that some parents may need more access to their devices than others.

Model healthy digital behavior.

Spend some time thinking about when and why you’re turning to your phone. Phone use can become dysfunctional if you’re continually using your phone to escape from the inevitable boredom and stressors that can accompany parenthood. If that sounds familiar, “try to think of what would be a better way to do this right now where I’m not just withdrawing into my phone,” Dr. McDaniel said.

Studies show that frequent technoference can affect how sensitive and responsive we are to our children. By focusing on our phones we may miss some of our child’s cues, Dr. McDaniel said, prompting our children to act out and our stress levels to increase in what can become a tough-to-break cycle.

When possible, try to use your phone jointly with your children, Dr. Schomburg suggested. For example, you can both FaceTime with Grandma or scroll through family photos.

“It helps them learn that this is something that we can use in a social situation with people we care about, and it doesn’t have to be something you do alone, staring at your screen,” she said. “Because I think so many children are getting that message.”

You can help your children to learn different things from the popular children book series and they can learn about financial freedom and life lessons.

Help your preschooler learn new words to establish early reading skills

Before a child can learn to read, she needs to have a good, well-rounded understanding of basic words and what they mean. And while that may sound a bit overwhelming, there are very easy ways that you can build a preschooler’s vocabulary and introduce early reading concepts.

In fact, you probably do a whole lot of them normally, throughout the course of your day or week without even noticing it.

From reading aloud to your preschooler to simply engaging in conversation, you are helping your little one learn words—how they work, what they mean, how they are the same, how they are different, and much more.

Parents can help with language skills even when their child has speech delays. In fact, the more that parents do to help children overcome challenges, the better prepared the child will be for kindergarten.

Parents of children with disorders such as autism, apraxia of speech, and stuttering issues may want to consult with a speech therapist before getting started. Often, therapists can recommend effective techniques for building spoken and receptive language skills.

Here are some easy and fun vocabulary-building activities that you can do every day that will help you teach your child new words.

1. Visit the Library

If you are looking for a great place to start building your preschooler’s vocabulary and early reading skills, look no further than your local library. Research shows a strong correlation between library use and literacy-building skills in young children.

If you aren’t sure what to do when you get there, ask your librarian for help.

Just being around a place where there are a lot of books and literary references will go a long way to helping your preschooler feel comfortable about reading. 

Children’s libraries often have fun and engaging events and activities for young children, which will expose them to new words and give them an opportunity to socialize.

2. Substitute Synonyms

An easy way to introduce your child to new words is to use them yourself. After all, you are your child’s first and best role model. 

One way to do this is to become a walking thesaurus and substitute synonyms for various words. While synonyms are typically words that mean the same thing, often times a synonym is more descriptive than the original word.

When it comes to preschool vocabulary building, enormous is always better than big. Here are some other suggestions:

• cold: cool, chilly, bitter, freezing, raw
• hot: warm, humid, boiling, tropical
• smart: clever, bright, brilliant, wise

3. Teach and Reinforce the Alphabet

Singing the ABC song provides children who are learning the alphabet with some reinforcement and confidence. The bonus: it’s a great way to keep your preschooler busy on long car rides, in waiting rooms, or while waiting on lines.

You can also play games using the alphabet, such as I’m Going On a Picnic or the Alphabet Game, where you name items that start with letters in alphabetical order.

Your little one may also enjoy playing learning games online that focus on building alphabet skills.

4. Use Descriptive Words

When it comes to increasing your child’s vocabulary, more is better. The more words that your child hears on a daily basis, the more she’ll learn, absorb and eventually put to use herself.

Try to use a variety of descriptive words in daily conversation. For example, when describing a fabric pattern, try using words such as unusual, relaxing, or creative. These words may be beyond a toddler’s understanding right now, but by using them in the proper context you’ll make them more comprehensible.

5. Make Labels

If you want your preschooler to learn more words, then make it easy. In addition to saying them often, show them too.

Build on her basic comprehension of well-known words by using a label maker to name commonly used items so she learns to recognize what the word looks like.

For example, if her toys are separated into different bins of like items, label the bins, such as blocks, dolls, cars, books, etc.

6. Become a Super Sorter

Seeing is learning when it comes to introducing new words. Teaching your preschooler how to sort and categorize will help their logical thinking and build their vocabulary.

A good way to help preschoolers learn new words is to take what they are hearing and help them to visualize it. Use flashcards or cut pictures out of magazines for this game.

7. Practice Rhymes

Rhyming is not only fun, but it is also an easy way to get your toddler thinking about how different words can relate to each other.

How many rhyming words can your preschooler come up with? The fat cat sat on the mat. The white kite flew at night.

There are many bedtime stories to read for your children which leads to developing a good relationship with them.

8. Read Aloud Together

Besides being a wonderful way to spend quality time with your preschooler, reading aloud is a great way to expose them to new words.

Choose books that are of interest to your preschooler but that use words that are slightly above their understanding.

Together you can work through what they mean, by using context—the other words on the page and any pictures that might be on the page as well. 

Continue Working With Your Pre-Reader

As you can see, increasing your child’s vocabulary isn’t difficult, but it is necessary as they begin their journey to reading.

In some cases, such as taking your child to the library or labeling items in your home, preplanning is required. But for the most part, helping your child learn and incorporate new words is just a natural part of your day.

In education, there are a variety of different teaching methods all designed to help children learn effectively and thoroughly. Some methods work well together, while others do better when they are applied individually.

Scaffolding (also known as scaffold learning, scaffold method, scaffold teaching, and instructional scaffolding) is a very popular method in early childhood education. It functions well when applied alongside other strategies and works similarly to how scaffolding is used in construction. 

What Is Scaffolding?

When building, scaffolding is a temporary structure used to support a work crew and materials to aid in the construction, maintenance, and repair of buildings.

The philosophy is similar in early childhood education and works almost the same way to build independence in children.

The idea is that new lessons and concepts can be more readily understood and comprehended if support is given to a child as they’re learning.

It can also involve teaching a child something new by utilizing things they already know or can already do.

How Scaffolding Works in Early Childhood Education

When using scaffolding with young children, a teacher will provide students with support and guidance while the students are learning something new and age-appropriate or just slightly above what a student can do him or herself. As the children learn the skill, the support is lessened as their abilities develop and until they can do the new skill all on their own.

Scaffolding works best when educators employ the method in different ways, including:

• Making suggestions: If a child is having trouble completing a project, an educator could offer hints or partial solutions that might help solve the problem, while still encouraging the child to problem solve on their own. For example, “That block tower keeps falling down. One way we could fix it is by putting all the bigger blocks on the bottom. What other ways do you think we could help it stay up?”
• Asking probing questions: This encourages a child to come up with an answer independently. In the block tower example, a teacher could ask, “What do you think would happen if we didn’t build the tower quite so tall?”
• Using demonstrations: In the block tower example, an educator who is scaffolding could make their own smaller version of a block tower to demonstrate how the blocks work best.
• Introducing a prop: Additionally, the teacher could encourage the child to use different resources to help the block tower stay up and think out of the box by coming up with a creative solution. “What do you see in our classroom that would help support our block tower? Maybe if we turn that pencil holder upside down, that could help. Can you think of anything else?”

• Posing limited-answer questions: If a child is having trouble coming up with an answer to a question on their own, a teacher who’s scaffolding can provide multiple answers to choose from in order to help the child come up with a correct response independently.
• Providing support: When a task is proving tough, the teacher could help a child think through alternatives. Or get a child off on the right foot by discussing the steps needed to complete a task.
• Offering encouragement: Praising a child for attempting or completing a task, with even a simple “Good job!” increases a child’s confidence and sense of self-competence.

In early childhood education, scaffolding can be implemented in many ways. For example:

• If a child knows how to draw a straight vertical line, you can then show them how to draw a straight horizontal line. Once those two skills are mastered, they can put it together to draw a square.
• Once a child recognizes a specific letter, you can teach the sound and then words that start with that sound.
• A child that can use safety scissors can utilize that skill to use a hole punch.

Why Scaffolding Aids Child Development

Scaffolding is helpful because it helps young children who are new to a school environment build confidence while learning. If a child gives the wrong answer to a question, a teacher using a point-system for kids and scaffolding method can use that incorrect response coupled with a previously learned skill to help the child come to the correct conclusion on their own.

Preschool-age children are learning a lot! From potty training to controlling their temper, they are discovering what is expected of them and trying to do their best. Parents can encourage good behavior by setting up a reward system that is sure to get their attention.

Why Is a Reward System Important for Preschoolers?

Here’s the thing about preschoolers. They like to do things their own way on their own time. So when you want to encourage a new behavior — potty-training, doing simple chores, or something of the like — a great way to do it is to set up a reward system.

A positive form of discipline, a reward system for children does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as stickers on a chart or buttons or beans in a jar. Whatever method you choose, the object is to keep track of good behavior so your child will continue acting that way in the future.

Setting up a Reward System for Your Children

1. Explain the concept to your preschooler. Before you start, talk to your preschooler about what it is you’d like him to strive for.

In my house, it was getting my three-year-old to pull up his own pants after he went to the bathroom. For others, it may be how many days she can go without a temper tantrum or for every meal she is able to clear her plate.

Whatever the behavior, explain to your preschooler what you are looking for and what the ground rules are.

2. Set ground rules. In our case, my son could earn two stickers each time he went to the bathroom — one for pulling up his underpants and one for pulling up his pants or shorts. He had to pull them all the way up in order to earn his prize.

Talk about what it is you want your preschooler to do and what she needs to do to succeed. Some parents like to offer a grand prize — fill up the bean jar or earn 25 stickers and the child gets an additional reward. Do whatever works best for your family.

3. Create a reward system. Get your preschooler in on the process.

Gather up posterboard or cardboard, a jar, or whatever you are using, as well as markers and stickers and let your preschooler decorate. If you are making a chart, make sure the tallying method is clear so it is easy to keep track of any rewards your child earns.

4. Try to focus on one or two behaviors at a time. You may have a litany of things you want your preschooler to work on, but it’s a good idea to tackle only one at any given time.

If you are potty training and working on sticking to a bedtime routine, consider putting adding chores to your preschooler’s schedule on the back burner.

Having too many “to-do’s” on your preschooler’s list can be confusing (for you and him). It can also lead to many reward charts decorating your walls (although you might save money on the wallpaper!).

5. Payout perks promptly. Here’s the key to a successful reward system — it must be immediate.

Whether you choose to use a sticker chart or beans in a jar, make sure as soon as your child does the target behavior those stickers or beans are in hand and ready to go. When they go on the potty or get through a meal without a temper tantrum they can be duly recorded.

Most preschoolers have no real sense of time yet, so by offering the sticker up right away, you are confirming their good behavior and encouraging them to do it again.

6. Be consistent. In the same vein as being prompt, you need to make sure you are consistent in handing out awards. And don’t give one out if your child hasn’t done the targeted behavior.