Posted in Kids

Dealing With Bullies

Bullying is a big problem. It can make kids feel hurt, scared, sick, lonely, embarrassed, and sad. Bullies might hit, kick, or push to hurt people, or use words to call names, tease, or scare them.

A bully might say mean things about someone, grab a kid’s stuff, make fun of someone, or leave a kid out of the group on purpose.

Some bullies threaten people or try to make them do things they don’t want to do.

Bullying Is a Big Deal

Bullying is a big problem that affects lots of kids. Three-quarters of all kids say they have been bullied or teased. Being bullied can make kids feel really bad, and the stress of dealing with it can make them feel sick.

Bullying can make kids not want to play outside or go to school. It’s hard to keep your mind on schoolwork when you’re worried about how you’re going to deal with the bully near your locker.

Bullying bothers everyone — and not just the kids who are getting picked on. Bullying can make school a place of fear and can lead to violence and more stress for everyone.

Why Do Bullies Act That Way?

Some bullies are looking for attention. They might think bullying is a way to be popular or to get what they want. Most bullies are trying to make themselves feel more important. When they pick on someone else, it can make them feel big and powerful.

Some bullies come from families where everyone is angry and shouting all the time. They may think that being angry, calling names, and pushing people around is a normal way to act. Some bullies are copying what they’ve seen someone else do. Some have been bullied themselves.

Sometimes bullies know that what they’re doing or saying hurts other people. But other bullies may not really know how hurtful their actions can be. Most bullies don’t understand or care about the feelings of others.

Bullies often pick on someone they think they can have power over. They might pick on kids who get upset easily or who have trouble sticking up for themselves. Getting a big reaction out of someone can make bullies feel like they have the power they want. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who is smarter than they are or different from them in some way. Sometimes bullies just pick on a kid for no reason at all.

Gemma told her mom that this one kid was picking on her for having red hair and freckles. She wanted to be like the other kids but she couldn’t change those things about herself. Finally, Gemma made friends at the local swimming pool with a girl who wished she had red hair like Gemma’s. The two girls became great friends, and Gemma learned to ignore the mean girl’s taunts at school.

Bullying: How to Handle It

So now you know that bullying is a big problem that affects a lot of kids, but what do you do if someone is bullying you? Our advice falls into two categories: preventing a run-in with the bully, and what to do if you end up face-to-face with the bully.

Preventing a Run-In With a Bully

Don’t give the bully a chance. As much as you can, avoid the bully. You can’t go into hiding or skip class, of course. But if you can take a different route and avoid the mean kid, do so.

Stand tall and be brave. When you’re scared of another person, you’re probably not feeling your bravest. But sometimes just acting brave is enough to stop a bully. How does a brave person look and act? Stand tall and you’ll send the message: “Don’t mess with me.” It’s easier to feel brave when you feel good about yourself. See the next tip!

Feel good about you. Nobody’s perfect, but what can you do to look and feel your best? Maybe you’d like to be more fit. If so, maybe you’ll decide to get more exercise, watch less TV, and eat healthier snacks. Or maybe you feel you look best when you shower in the morning before school. If so, you could decide to get up a little earlier so you can be clean and refreshed for the school day.

Get a buddy (and be a buddy). Two is better than one if you’re trying to avoid being bullied. Make a plan to walk with a friend or two on the way to school, recess, lunch, or wherever you think you might meet the bully. Offer to do the same if a friend is having bully trouble. Get involved if you see bullying going on in your school — tell an adult, stick up for the kid being bullied, and tell the bully to stop.

If The Bully Says or Does Something to You

Ignore the bully. If you can, try your best to ignore the bully’s threats. Pretend you don’t hear them and walk away quickly to a place of safety. Bullies want a big reaction to their teasing and meanness. Acting as if you don’t notice and don’t care is like giving no reaction at all, and this just might stop a bully’s behavior.

Stand up for yourself. Pretend to feel really brave and confident. Tell the bully “No! Stop it!” in a loud voice. Then walk away, or run if you have to. Kids also can stand up for each other by telling a bully to stop teasing or scaring someone else, and then walking away together. If a bully wants you to do something that you don’t want to do, say “no!” and walk away. If you do what a bully says to do, the mean kid is more likely to keep bullying you. Bullies tend to pick on kids who don’t stick up for themselves.

Don’t bully back. Don’t hit, kick, or push back to deal with someone bullying you or your friends. Fighting back just satisfies a bully and it’s dangerous, too, because someone could get hurt. You’re also likely to get in trouble. It’s best to stay with others, stay safe, and get help from an adult.

Don’t show your feelings. Plan ahead. How can you stop yourself from getting angry or showing you’re upset? Try distracting yourself (counting backwards from 100, spelling the word ‘turtle’ backwards, etc.) to keep your mind occupied until you are out of the situation and somewhere safe where you can show your feelings.

Tell an adult. If you are being bullied, it’s very important to tell an adult. Find someone you trust and talk about what is happening to you. Teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom helpers at school can all help to stop bullying. Sometimes bullies stop as soon as a teacher finds out because they’re afraid that they will be punished by parents. This is not tattling on someone who has done something small — bullying is wrong and it helps if everyone who gets bullied or sees someone being bullied speaks up.

What Happens to Bullies?

In the end, most bullies wind up in trouble. If they keep acting mean and hurtful, sooner or later they may have only a few friends left — usually other kids who are just like them. The power they wanted slips away fast. Other kids move on and leave bullies behind.

Luis lived in fear of Brian — every day he would give his lunch money to Brian, but Brian still beat him up. He said that if Luis ever told anyone, he would beat him up in front of all the other kids in his class. Luis was embarrassed and felt so bad about himself and about school. Finally, Brian got caught threatening Luis and they were both sent to the school counselor. Brian got in a lot of trouble at home. Over time, Brian learned how to make friends and ask his parents for lunch money. Luis never wanted to be friends with Brian, but he did learn to act strong and more confident around him.

Some kids who bully blame others. But every kid has a choice about how to act. Some kids who bully realize that they don’t get the respect they want by threatening others. They may have thought that bullying would make them popular, but they soon find out that other kids just think of them as trouble-making losers.

The good news is that kids who are bullies can learn to change their behavior. Teachers, counselors, and parents can help. So can watching kids who treat others fairly and with respect. Bullies can change if they learn to use their power in positive ways. In the end, whether bullies decide to change their ways is up to them. Some bullies turn into great kids. Others never learn.

But no one needs to put up with a bully’s behavior. If you or someone you know is bothered by a bully, talk to someone you trust. Everyone has the right to feel safe, and being bullied makes people feel unsafe. Tell someone about it and keep telling until something is done.

You should teach financial education for kids to your children by taking help from Point-system which would help you to develop a healthy and happy child.

Posted in Parenting

How to Be a Modern Parent

We all want to be the best parents we can be for our children, but there is often conflicting advice on how to raise a kid who is confident, kind and successful. Throughout the circus act of parenting, it’s important to focus on balancing priorities, juggling responsibilities and quickly flipping between the needs of your children, other family members and yourself. Modern parents have the entire internet at their disposal and don’t follow any single authority. It’s hard to know whom or what to trust. Here, we’ll talk about how to help your child grow up to be a person you really like without losing yourself in the process.  

Good news: There is no one right way to raise a child. 

Research tells us that to raise a self-reliant child with high self-esteem, it is more effective to be authoritative than authoritarian. You want your child to listen, respect and trust you rather than fear you. You want to be supportive, but not a hovering, helicopter parent. 

All of these things are easy to set as goals, but hard to achieve. How do you find the right balance? 

As your child develops, the challenges will change, and your thinking may evolve, but your approach should be consistent, firm and loving. Help your child learn through experience that making an effort builds confidence and helps you learn to tackle challenges. Calibrate your expectations about what your child is capable of doing independently, whether you have an infant learning to sleep through the night, a toddler helping to put toys away, or an older child resolving conflicts. 

Remember, there is no one right way to raise a child and you should know how to teach kids about money. Do your best, trust yourself and enjoy the company of the small person in your life.

Posted in Financial freedom

13 money management tips for teenagers

Helping your teenagers understand how to have secure and successful financial futures is one of the most rewarding things for you as a parent. By working with them to learn and follow these tips, you’ll give them more experience and confidence in money management. Plus, they’ll start them down a better financial road their whole life.

1. MAKE SURE THEY HAVE STEADY INCOME.

The first element in helping a teenager learn about money management is to work with them to establish income. One of the best ways is to encourage them to get a job. Or, if they are highly involved in sports or other high school activities and don’t have time to work, set them up with a weekly or monthly allowance.

2. LIMIT THEM TO SPENDING “THEIR” INCOME.

Once your teenager has income, make sure they use it for most of their personal expenses. This helps them understand that they have to control their spending, and not go over their budget. If you give them too much extra money, they won’t understand they have to limit their spending.

3. START A SAVINGS OR CHECKING ACCOUNT.

By having a bank account, you can teach your teenager how to make regular deposits, save money and keep their bank balance away from overdrafts. In addition, it can help your teenager learn about online banking and using ATMs.

4. HELP THEM SET UP A BUDGET.

Sit down with your teenager and help them set up a budget that fits their income. A budget will help them understand that randomly spending money isn’t a good approach. By creating a realistic budget, they can also set short- and long-term financial goals.

5. ENCOURAGE SAVINGS.

Learning to save is one of the most important elements of money management. Sit down with your teenager and recommend they save 5 percent to 10 percent of their income. Help them understand that by saving money now, they’ll have less financial worries in the future, and will have funds to help make major purchases, such as a car or college tuition.

6. RECOMMEND THEY SAVE WHEN SHOPPING.

Another great way to help your teenagers learn about saving is when you’re with them at a store. Help them look for the best value items, lower prices and even use coupons. In addition, have them go online and see if they can find even lower prices. It’s also good to recommend that sometimes they wait to buy an item until it goes on sale.

7.  CUT BACK ON SPENDING WHEN POSSIBLE.

Give your teenager a new perspective on spending. Help them understand that, if possible, it’s a smart approach to spend less. An example would be instead of spending $25 on too much of a restaurant dinner, they could limit it to just $15, and have $10 to add to their savings.

8. FOCUS ON PLANNED PURCHASES, REDUCE IMPULSE PURCHASES.

Encourage your teenager to shop with a specific list of items they need. This avoids impulse buying, which can lead to much higher expenses for things they really don’t need.

9. SET GOALS.

It’s important to spend time with your teenager to help them decide what their future goals are, and how they can achieve them financially. By having a specific plan, they’ll have a much better opportunity to meet their goals.

10. REVIEW THEIR FINANCIAL STATEMENTS.

Teach your teenager that each month, they should go over the details on their savings or checking account statement. This will help them understand and analyze their spending habits, and will help them make changes that allow them to reduce spending and increase savings.

11. DISCUSS FAMILY FINANCES.

A great way to give your teenager a bigger picture of financial management is to talk to them about your household finances. Talk about your income and how you manage it, including monthly expenses, daily costs and saving for retirement with your 401k or other retirement plan.

12. ENCOURAGE THEM TO KEEP DEBT LOW.

One of the worst financial conditions is having extremely high credit card debt and other loan debt. Explain to your teenager that it’s important not to take on any debt that isn’t absolutely necessary. By keeping debt low, they’ll be in a much better, long-term financial situation.

13. RECOMMEND THEY START THEIR RETIREMENT SAVINGS AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.

It’s beneficial to let your teenager know it’s never too early to think about retirement. Encourage them to sign up for a retirement saving plan at their first career job. Explain to them that the younger they start, even depositing small amounts, can eventually add up to a wealthy, secure retirement.

The more you start teaching your teens about money management, the better decisions they’ll make. Use the tips listed here to get started, and keep talking to your teenager about all kinds of financial topics.

Posted in Financial freedom

Equipping Your Teenager with the Needed Financial Tools for Adulthood October 2 2015

Teaching teens about money and how to manage their finances when they become adults is one of the most important lessons that a parent can impart.

Here are four basic lessons on money-management for teens that parents should plan to teach their teenagers early on:

1. Credit is not the same as cash.

Teenagers are likely well-versed in how to use a credit card (”swipe the plastic and you pay later” – or so they may think). However, they may not understand credit card rates and fees.

LESSON PLAN:

  • Explain how interest rates, late fees, and other charges can ultimately increase the amount that your teen owes.
  • Teach how to manage debt and the importance of paying bills on time, preferably in full or else by making more than the minimum payment due, and of avoiding late or missed payments.

2. There is no such thing as “free.”

The sooner that your teenager understands this concept, the better. He or she already knows that everything at the store has a price and that you have to make a purchase in order to receive the products or services. What he or she may not realize is that services and utilities, such as electricity and gas, cost money as well.

LESSON PLAN:

Have your teen sit with you as you pay the family bills each month. You also could have him or her write out some of the checks and log them into your checkbook, to get a better feel for the process. You’ll be giving your child a hands-on understanding of how much the monthly expenses cost, from the mortgage payment to utilities, telephone, and Internet charges. Who knows, maybe your teen will start thinking twice before leaving on a light!

3. Don’t spend more money than you have.

It’s a simple concept: Live within your means and don’t let spending exceed your income. This can often be easier said than done, which is why it’s important to teach teenagers how to budget and how to track their spending.

LESSON PLAN:

  • Make a list, starting with income: Does your teenager have a part-time job? Do you give your teenager an allowance? Does he or she receive income or money from other sources?
  • Make a second list, for expenses: What are they, and the amounts? Help your son or daughter to calculate how much money he or she will need each month for expenses. The key is to visually see the difference between things desired and things actually needed.
  • An additional approach might be to include your son or daughter in helping to calculate and create your annual family budget. This can help demonstrate the concepts that you have been teaching for his or her budget, applied on a larger scale.

4. Put money aside for a rainy day.

The notion of having to wait in order to save up for a large purchase can sometimes be frustrating, especially if someone is used to instant gratification. Encourage your teen to get into the habit of “paying yourself first.”

LESSON PLAN:

  • Teach your teenager that every time a paycheck or allowance money arrives, he or she should immediately put a certain percentage of it into a savings account.
  • It’s also important to stress the importance of having a nest egg of savings for unexpected expenses. For example, is your teenager saving up to buy a car? Make sure that he or she understands that once the vehicle has been purchased, the need for savings does not end. Any repairs and tune-ups, in addition to fuel and insurance, all cost money, too.
Posted in Discipline in kids, Financial freedom

Financial Literacy for Kids & Teens: Saving, Investing, Budgeting & Beyond

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” That’s what many parents say to their kids when the subject of a new toy or their own smartphone comes up. Sooner or later, every kid should learn where money does come from and how to manage it. Financial literacy is one of the most important skills a young person can learn, and fewer than half of American schools carry requirements for it.

Fortunately, the Internet has vast resources available for teaching kids and teens about how to save, budget, and even invest their money. Through a wealth of tutorials, games, and tips, you could soon be on your way to a fat savings account… or even teen entrepreneurship!

Saving

When should kids start learning about saving money? The experts say, the sooner the better. A child in kindergarten can learn that you need money to buy things, people earn money by working for it, and money must be saved to buy more expensive things.

A child who must buy things with their own money might quickly learn the difference between “want” and “need.” As early as sixth grade, a kid can learn about putting savings in the bank, compound interest, and making their money grow (rather than blowing it on frivolous purchases). Teaching kids about saving their money will pay huge dividends when kids become teenagers and it’s time to save money for college. Teenagers in particular are targets for opportunistic credit card companies, and need to know that credit cards are not free money.

Budgeting

Young children have little need for budgeting their own money, but teaching them how to plan finances becomes more important as they grow older. Learning to budget at a young age can help avoid financial pitfalls later in life and give kids and teens the tools they need to prosper. Parents can include their kids in planning the family budget as a fun bonding activity. Financial planning becomes a critical life skill when teenagers get their first credit cards and leave for college. Some financial education might prevent panicked late-night calls to parents because they’re out of cash.

Investing

At first glance, investing might seem like an advanced topic for kids to learn – but you might be surprised. Once a child gets beyond the basics of the piggy bank and savings account, it’s not a drastic leap to stocks and bonds. Learning about investing teaches kids and teens about risk and reward, tracking investments, and how the market works. Planning investments is a family activity that can pay off figurative and literal dividends down the road!

Consumer Education and Financial Learning

Learning to become responsible consumers can be an important part of a child’s financial literacy. Comparison shopping, making smart consumer choices, and careful consideration of major purchases don’t always come naturally. These are learned behaviors that work best when a child or teen is armed with information. As teens approach adulthood, issues like car and personal insurance, paying premiums, and preparing for the future become more important. These resources will help kids and teens make informed choices and get the most out of the money they’ve worked so hard to earn, save, and invest.

  • You Are Here
  • Don’t Buy It!
  • Wise Buys for Teens
  • LifeSmarts
  • JumpStart Coalition
  • Consumer Jungle
  • Consumer Information for Teens at FTC 
  • Money As You Grow
  • H.I.P. Pocket Change
  • Finance in the Classroom
  • Teen Business

Entrepreneurship

Beyond the basics of saving, budgeting and investing lies the ultimate in financial education for young people: running their own business. With the right training and resources, kids can move far beyond the corner lemonade stand or cookie-selling venture. Fostering an early interest in entrepreneurship can forge a powerful career path that leads to confidence, creativity and financial independence.

Teaching kids about money is also an important factor, try to teach them about money management so they have not to face any difficulties in the future.

Posted in Financial freedom

How to Teach Kids About Money, from Toddlers to Teens

The world is beginning to embrace the idea of a cashless economy, and it’s raised some interesting questions about how we impart financial knowledge to our children.

A 2015 financial literacy assessment by the Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) found that just under 80% of young people aged 15-24 made payments online. And a 2015 Standard & Poor survey found that only 57% of U.S. adults were financially literate, with a solid understanding of key concepts like inflation and interest.

That’s a troubling combination.

But the 2017 Parents, Kids, & Money Survey conducted by T. Rowe Price found that parents who discussed financial topics with their kids were more likely (61% vs 41%) to have kids who say they are smart about money.

“Young People still need to be taught the basics,” says Dan Kadlec, contributor to TIME Magazine and Rightaboutmoney.com. “Live within your means, pay yourself first, save 15% of what you earn. These are timeless values that technology can help with – but only once you understand the need and set a plan into motion.”

With Generation Z – also known as Digital Natives – beginning to come of age, it’s time to combine tried and true financial wisdom with modern solutions to teach our children how to survive, and even thrive, in a world without cash.

Introducing money: Ages 3-6

At this point in your child’s cognitive development, he or she should begin to understand the concept of counting, so it’s the perfect time to introduce them to the general concept of money.

During these initial lessons, we recommend holding off on abstract concepts like credit and sticking to physical dollars and coins. “Forcing children to pay cash makes them feel an immediate connection between their spending and their budget,” says Walt Gardner, Reality Check blogger at Education Week. “It also tends to impress upon them the importance of saving.”

According to Tracie Fobes of Penny Pinchin’ Mom, “The reason kids love coins is that it feels more real to them. They can slide the coins into their piggy banks. Not only that, but when you use coins, you can start to teach them how to add them to total another value. For instance, you can teach your child that ten dimes are the same as one dollar.”

There are four essentials your child should learn at this young age:

  • Earning
  • Spending
  • Saving
  • Giving

Earning

Of course, your 3-year-old can’t work a job to earn money, but they can earn an allowance by completing simple chores, like making their bed or cleaning their room. Be sure to tie their allowance to completing every chore. If they’re not 100% done by the end of the week, they don’t get paid.

Spending

Learning how to spend responsibly empowers your child while honing decision-making skills. Kids tend to consider their spending choices more carefully when they’re spending money they’ve earned, as opposed to money they’ve been given. But when your child purchases something, make sure they know they’ve earned it. Whatever the purchase, it belongs solely to them.

Saving

As your child begins to earn their own money, they’re going to learn that some items are more expensive than others and that people must save what they earn to reach larger goals. If they’re impatient to make a costly purchase, offer them extra chores or agree to match a certain percentage of their earnings if they save. (But don’t bail them out or offer more money for the same effort.)

Giving

Introducing charitable habits at an early age can be rewarding for both you and your child. Giving to charity is shown to have pleasing effects on the brain, just like the knowledge that your child is happy. Teach your children to give 10% of their money to help others, and it’s a habit they’ll keep all their life.

There’s one more benefit to introducing finances at a young age: learning core math skills. Says Nancy Phillips of Thewelaway.com, “Learning to divide up earnings in cash when they’re young gives [children] practice doing everyday adding, subtracting, multiplication, division, and percentages: mental skills many children and teens aren’t effectively learning anymore.”

Apps that can help

There’s a whole slew of apps dedicated to introducing numbers and mathematics to kids, but one of my favorites is DragonBox Numbers. The app combines brightly-colored characters and engaging games with Cuisenaire Rods (a classic math education tool) to give kids an understanding of fundamental mathematics without the need for memorization.

If you’re looking to emphasize your child’s financial knowledge instead, check out Savings Spree. It’s an addicting, vibrant app designed to show children how quickly costs can add up, reinforce saving, and introduce the idea of unexpected costs.

How people spend: Ages 6-10

Beginning at age 6, children begin to understand cause-and-effect relationships, and that changes the way they perceive money. By this point, your child can probably see that:

  • Money is directly tied to items
  • Parents work for money
  • Money is spent differently (smaller items, like a book, may only require one purchase, while larger items, like a house, require multiple payments)
  • Some purchases are made without physical money

Maybe your child has gone on a few playdates and has noticed that other families have bigger houses and smaller cars, or vice-versa. This can lead to some difficult questions. It’s possible to answer those questions head-on, while building on your child’s financial knowledge.

Introducing differences between types of spending can help children gain an understanding of how others spend their money, while laying the groundwork for building budgets in the future:

  • Goods vs. services
  • Needs vs. wants
  • Short-term vs. long-term goals

Goods vs. services

Money isn’t always spent on physical items (goods); sometimes it’s spent in return for another’s efforts (services), and it’s important for children to understand the distinction. With more abstract goods and services made for the information age, such as apps and streaming services, the line between the two may blur. Use your child’s passions to illustrate the difference: If your child loves games, explain that the game itself is a good, while the developers that made it provided a service.

This is a good time to introduce your child to the concept of work – that people get paid for creating goods and providing services. It’s also an opportunity for your child to get to know you a little better. Explain what you and your partner do to earn money.

Although you should give your child an annual raise in their allowance, if they want more, you can consider complicating their chores and paying them more money as a result. “In addition to handling cash for wants,” says Lena Gott of Whatmommydoes.com, “you can also let them do budget-related household tasks, like planning a week’s worth of meals and actually shopping for the groceries while sticking to a grocery budget.”

Needs vs. wants

“Emotion is the real reason most consumer purchases are made, and vendors know that,” says Nancy Phillips. Ads are becoming increasingly personalized, and it’s crucial to establish a distinction between emotional purchases (wants) and necessary ones (needs) as soon as possible. If you’re comfortable with the concept, show your children some of the bills you pay monthly, and establish that even the house they live in isn’t free.

It’s also a good time to teach your children that different families have different needs. For example, larger families may need bigger houses and cars.

Short-term vs. long-term goals

Explaining to your child that you make monthly payments towards the cost of a house is a great way to introduce the idea of expense, and of short-term vs. long-term term goals. If your child has something expensive on their wish list, establish that it’s a long-term goal, and encourage them to save up.

Bobbi Rebell, author of How to be a Financial Grownup and of Bobbirebell.com, offers the following example: “I ask my 10-year old: Do you want to buy a snack after school, or do you want to take a taxi and have a snack at home? Or maybe we should just save the money, and we can use it for an activity we are saving up for?”

Apps that can help

We’re about to dive into the world of digital currency, so now’s a good time to bridge the gap between the physical and the abstract. Using allowance apps like iAllowance while still distributing their allowance in physical money is a great way for your child to make the connection that the numbers on the screen represent real value.

iAllowance helps children set their money aside for specific goods and services that they want, while parents still maintain full control. Once you feel your child is ready, you can make the switch to digital currency.

Introducing Consequences: Age 11-13

When a child reaches his or her tweens, they begin to develop a sense of reason, long-term consequences, and complications, transforming from emotionally-driven to rationally-driven decision making. At this age, a child begins to desire independence, spending more time with their friends instead of their parents. Tweens spend about six hours on average consuming media, and financial peer pressure is a very real force. “Once they are old enough,” says Bobbi Rebell, “hand over the phone to let them pay for things digitally (with your supervision).”

Once your child has a firm grasp of the basics, it’s time to finish the transition into the cashless world. But don’t just introduce e-commerce apps like PayPal or Venmo. Use this time as an opportunity to expand their financial knowledge to include long-term consequences:

  • Credit
  • Debt
  • Interest
  • Budgeting
  • Identity theft

Credit

According to the BusyKid Blog, it’s a good idea to “use the mentality that if you can’t afford to pay cash, you can’t afford it. If you do choose to use credit cards, make sure you’re paying them off in full each month.” There’s plenty of ways to introduce kids to credit without putting their financial future (or yours) at stake.

If you’re looking to establish a strong credit score for your child, consider making them an authorized user on your credit card. Parents still retain control over the account, and some cards offer spending limits for authorized users. You’ll be able to see all the purchases your child makes and follow up when reminders are needed.

“One thing that works to teach kids is to create your own ‘debit’ card,” says Tracie Fobes. “You can pay your kids an allowance on their card and have them record the balance – without handing them cash.”

Be sure that your child makes payments at the end of every month. If your child ever goes over budget, then take what’s owed out of their allowance apps – with a little interest (more on that later).

Debt

Kids growing up today will come of age in the shadow of The Great Recession, so they’re actively aware of debt: Generation Z holds the lowest average credit card debt of all current generations. But when it comes to keeping track of spending habits, there’s still a generation gap. “If you are over 40,” says Dan Kadlec, “you were taught that the best way to restrain and track spending was by using cash and saving the receipts. Spending cash was painful because you had to part with the physical currency and felt the loss.”

If you have firsthand experiences with debt, don’t feel embarrassed to bring them up to your child – your knowledge is more valuable than the abstract concept of owing money. If your child is an authorized user on your credit card, utilize your credit card company or bank’s app to keep an eye on your child’s spending habits – and consider setting spending limits if your bank allows it.

Interest

Any lesson on interest should boil down to one concept: Interest means that money grows in value over time. As a result, interest can be your best friend or worst enemy – because both debts and savings (when placed in a bank) accrue interest.

Don’t throw out those allowance apps just yet. Instead mix them with credit card or bank apps to keep track of how much money your child currently has, while showing how much they’ve spent. Treat allowance apps like a personal bank account. If your child saves his or her money, consider matching it to an agreed-upon percentage.

Conversely, if your child overspends on a credit card, and/or fails to make payments before the month is up, take the payment out of their account, along with a little extra as interest. Then follow up with a conversation to drive the lesson home.

Budgeting

Keeping track of your expenses and learning how to plan for your future is a tenet of financial literacy. With extra money from chores and gifts accruing interest, it’s time to take stock of your child’s spending habits and compare them to the short- or long-term goals they have. At this age, all your child’s spending goals should be want-based, so it’s a great opportunity to teach them about monthly profits and losses without harsh consequences.

Utilize allowance apps or old-fashioned (by information age standards) database software such as Excel or Google Sheets, and break the budget up into four categories: income, savings, spending, and goals. Review the budget with your child regularly and determine whether they have more money in their account (profit) or owe money (loss) at the end of each review.

But most importantly, let them fail. “Help them save towards things they really want, and let them make mistakes – they will blow their money on dumb stuff and regret it!” says Phil McGilvray of Grandma’s Jars. “Whatever you do, don’t bail them out. Once they get into their mid-teens, you must give them bigger opportunists to manage money and fail.”

Identity theft

One last stop before they log on. Protecting personal information is as much a part of financial literacy as is spending and saving. Your children may have a device that you can’t control: one-third of all middle and high school students can access a school-issued mobile device. Chances are, your kids are more tech-savvy than you (yes, even at this age), but there are still steps you can take to help them protect their identity online.

Keep an eye on your child’s social media accounts, but also explain why popular services like Facebook and Instagram are free – namely, the process of data mining. Make sure their phone’s geolocation is off, and know if their posts are geotagged. Inform them of the dangers of sharing personal information while on public wi-fi. Lastly, check out the security pages of popular e-commerce apps like Venmo and PayPal.

Apps that can help

Bankaroo offers a virtual bank designed exclusively for children. It’s like an enhanced allowance app: Parents have full visibility of their children’s finances, can set goals, and can enter in a set amount for annual allowances. But parents can also match a percentage of their child’s savings, ensuring that their money earns interest. There’s even a school version, made just for teachers.

Beat the Thief, designed by the Center for Identity at the University of Texas at Austin, is an engaging game that teaches kids the essentials of how to protect their identity online. Points are earned by sharing information safely – but give away personal info, and a cartoon burglar creeps closer and closer towards your home. Once he’s in, it’s game over.

Building wealth: Ages 13-15

When tweens turn into teens, they begin to grasp abstract concepts and develop a sense of long-term consequences. Teens also hone memory and the capacity for reason, while actively beginning to distance themselves from their parents. Your child is going to start identifying more with their friends and other social groups, so it’s the perfect time to let them spread their wings.

Introduce the following financial concepts to reinforce your teen’s independence, and help them find a financial identity outside of your watch:

  • Work
  • Banking
  • Investing (bonds vs. stocks)

Work

Your child has a concrete understanding that money comes from hard work, but until this point, they’ve only earned money through chores, while their parents are watching over them. Finding a job separate from parental control reinforces a sense of responsibility in teens, and it looks great on a college application.

Teens don’t necessarily have to work on their feet: Freelancing sites like Fiverr will allow teens to join at 13 years old, although sometimes parental consent is necessary. (It’s also worth mentioning that these sites issue payment via e-commerce apps, so if you haven’t gone over identity theft with your child, be sure to do so.)

Once your teen has some money of his or her own, it’s time to open their first bank account (if you haven’t already).

Banking

Contrary to common belief, banks aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. 84% of bank customers ages 18-34, including millennials, have visited a teller at least once in 2016. Even if banking ultimately becomes a purely digital experience, it’s essential to understand exactly who is keeping your money safe.

You may have brought your child with you to the bank before, and now’s the time for them to open a separate (but monitored) account for their savings. Many banks have accounts exclusively tailored to kids, and as we’ve reported, a good bank account for kids should meet the following criteria:

  • No minimum balance requirement
  • No monthly maintenance fees
  • Online account management
  • A high interest rate for savings (the best offer 1% or more!)

When choosing your bank, consider opting for one with a local branch so you and your child can visit and ask questions if need be.

Investing

At this point, your children understand how to earn and save money, budget for the future, and keep their savings safe in a bank. Now it’s time to teach them a little risk. Keep the lessons simple. People have two options if they want to invest their money – bonds and stocks.

Present bonds as the safer option. You’re essentially giving the government a loan to be repaid later. The rate of return isn’t high, and it takes more time for bonds to accrue any real interest. But, short of the government defaulting, there’s far less risk in bonds than there are in stocks. Edward Jones keeps an up-to-date chart of current bond interest rates.

Associate stocks with higher-risk, higher-reward scenarios. Purchasing stocks means purchasing small shares of a company, where the value of the stock depends on the health of the company. Be sure to hammer home the buy low, sell high mentality, allow your children to make small investments, and allow them to make mistakes.

Apps that can help

It’s likely your local bank has an official app, with the ability to track your child’s spending habits. Many banking apps will also send alerts if your child is spending too much, or if they’re running low in their account. You’re able to have as much or as little oversight as you desire on your child’s spending.

When it comes to investing, the Acorns app is one of the best introductions there is. According to Dan Kadlec, parents and teachers must “embrace new tools like Acorns and other savings apps if they want to remain relevant.” Acorns is a micro-investing tool: connect a credit card, spend like normal, and the app will automatically invest any spare change from each purchase (rounded up to the nearest dollar). Your teen will be able to choose between different classes of stocks or bonds, with minimal financial risk.

Preparing for the real world: Ages 15-18

Mid-to-late teenagers can process complex problems and fully imagine the future consequences of their actions. By now, your child has a solid foundation of financial literacy — from the essentials to more complex ideas of growing wealth. It’s time to talk about the biggest expenses they’ll likely ever have (barring children of their own).

Per a report published by Pew Charitable Trusts in 2015, approximately 80% of Americans “hold some form of debt, whether mortgages, car loans, unpaid credit card balances, medical and legal bills, student loans, or a combination of those.”

With college on the horizon, have a discussion with your children about taxes, good vs. bad debt, and how handling them responsibly can empower their financial future.

Taxes

If your child is working a part-time job, then they’ve already run into taxes. They may or may not understand the basics – that their money is going towards state and federal programs. What’s more important is to teach your children how to file their taxes.

There’s plenty of tax apps on the market, many of them provided by name-brand accountancy firms like Turbotax and H&R Block, but even they can’t cover all the basics. If you need help teaching your teenager about taxes, the IRS has a student portal designed to help total beginners understand the hows and whys of taxes.

Good debt

Good debts are essentially long-term investments in assets that increase a person’s overall net worth, such as:

  • Student loans
  • Mortgages
  • Car payments

As Forbes reported earlier this year, mortgages and student loan debt are still the largest and second-largest consumer debt categories, respectively. The good news is that current high school students are taking loan debt seriously, displaying a willingness to take gap years to earn money or attend less expensive community college programs to earn college credit.

When it comes time to take out a loan, do your homework with your teen – there’s a wide variety of student loan options, and a variety of lenders with strong web and mobile presences, offering competitive rates. Once you’ve found the lowest rate, be sure your teen doesn’t accept any more than they need to. They’ll be paying it back with interest just as they’re about to start their career. And of course, encourage them to make payments on time.

While mortgages are just a blip on the horizon, you’re still able to impart the same basic knowledge gained from finding the best student loan: Do your homework, find the best rate, and always pay on time.

Debt doesn’t care about flash, so when your teen is looking for their first car, make sure to ask the question: new or used? Newer cars depreciate more quickly but are more reliable, while used cars cost less but could require costly maintenance. Kelley Blue Book is still the definitive voice in new and used car pricing, an essential tool when shopping for a new car.

Bad debt

Whereas good debts are assets, bad debts are liabilities. They aren’t investments, and not paying them off can have serious consequences on a person’s credit history:

  • Credit card debt
  • Payday loans
  • Car payments
  • The unforeseen

Your teen likely understands that they should only get as many credit cards as they can pay off at the end of the month – but sometimes unexpected expenses can push us over our card’s limits and past our payment dates. Once they’ve missed a payment, not only does their credit score suffer, but the card’s APR kicks in, meaning they’ll have to pay even more due to interest.

Teach your child to avoid payday loans if at all possible. Payday loans are notoriously predatory, and their APR is far too high. Teens should only ever consider a payday loan if they face a truly desperate situation (and in that case, you may want them to come to you first).

Car payments are a grey area between good and bad debt. Car loans actually count as a liability against a person’s net worth. New cars depreciate by 10% the minute you drive off the lot, and by a minimum of 10% annually after that. It’s better, financially, to try to keep a well-working car for as long as possible, or to only opt for a new car when you’re sure you can pay for it.

Unforeseen expenses include medical emergencies, maintenance for cars and homes, rising bills, and unemployment – all things your child should take into consideration before making major purchases.

Credit scores and credit reports

This is the last step in building a foundation for financial literacy. Now that your child understands the concept of credit, you can introduce them to FICO.

If your child’s been making monthly payments towards a credit card, then he or she should have a starting credit score, and paying off student loans and credit scores can help. Contrary to popular belief, it’s possible to check your credit score without harming it.

Once you see your child’s credit score, you can explain what goes into determining it:

  • Payment history
  • Amounts of debt
  • Length of credit history
  • New credit
  • A mix of credit card and loan debt

If your child’s credit score is low, it’s because they haven’t established much financial history yet. Make the connection between paying off good debt and building credit. The low interest rates that come with good credit will make future loans easier to pay off and can result in big savings on a car or home loan.

Apps that can help

The MyFICO app is a popular choice for checking credit scores regularly. It offers up-to-the-minute information, plus alerts about credit changes or identity threats.

PCMagazine calls Mint “the best personal finance software hands down,” and it’s not hard to see why. Setup is simple, and users get a comprehensive view of their finances in seconds. Your child will have to connect a few accounts, but almost immediately, Mint will provide a thorough analysis of his or her finances. It’s a great tool for identifying spending trends and spotting opportunities for improvement.

Entrepreneurship: Ages 18+

Many believe that the essence of financial literacy is to instill fiscal security for their children in the future. Wise practices and conservative choices can give your adult children the ability to weather difficult financial times on their own. But there’s another benefit: confidence.

That’s a good sign. Teaching teens about money management is also an important factor, try to teach them about money management so they have not to face any difficulties in the future.

Posted in Financial freedom

Tips to Teach your Kids about Smart Money Management

Examine your own attitudes about money. Remember that children learn a lot about how to handle money by watching their parents. Be careful to set a good example – and don’t be afraid to admit if you don’t know how to do it. Now’s a great time to learn together!

Give your child an allowance and let them make their own spending choices with it. As soon as your child understands that people use money to buy things they want, give them a small weekly allowance. Raise the amount each birthday to keep it in line with your child’s reasonable personal spending needs. Encourage them to plan purchases in advance. Giving them an allowance helps you balance your budget too, but only give them as much as you can afford. A guideline is $0.50 – $1.00 / year of age of your child.

Expect your child to help with family chores. Helping around the house is part of being a family. Give allowance strictly for learning how to manage money. It’s better for you child to make small “mistakes” now than bigger mistakes later on.

Provide extra income opportunities. Occasionally, offer your child an opportunity to make a small amount of extra income by doing an extra chore. Help them decide what to do with the extra money they earn.

Teach your child to save regularly. Set up a process for saving money in a piggy bank or bank account. Regularly monitor how much has been saved, and talk to your child about goals for using their money.

Help your child discover the satisfaction of sharing. Encourage your child to identify ways they can spend money on helping others.

Show your child how to be a wise consumer. Before your child buys something, review alternative ways of spending the money to emphasize the necessity of making choices. Teach them to comparison shop for prices and quality. Discuss how advertisers persuade people to buy their products, and encourage your kids to be savvy about commercials.

Teach your child a healthy attitude towards credit. When your child is old enough to understand what credit is, consider allowing them to borrow a small amount of extra money from you to make a major purchase. Negotiate how much your child will repay each week from their weekly allowance, and then be very careful about collecting the money and keeping track of the remaining balance each week until the debt is repaid.

Teach your child the value of wise investments. When your child is old enough to understand interest rates and rate of return, play an investment game to learn about alternative investment strategies and financial risks. Websites can be very helpful.

Involve your child in family financial planning. Let your child see you planning your budget, paying bills, shopping carefully, and planning major expenditures and vacations. Explain the affordable choices, and allow kids to participate in the family’s decision making process. Set a family goal that everyone can work towards.

Want more great tips on teaching kids about money? Just drop your comments in the comment section.

Posted in Financial freedom

The Secret of Teaching Financial Literacy to Kids

Do you want to raise a million dollar kid?

Do you currently teach financial literacy to your kids?

I had to bake six dozen cookies for the annual Airman Cookie Drive and at the time, my youngest two, Jonathan and Joshua were toddlers.

I decided to let them “help” me so I put on their aprons, washed their chubby hands and sat them on a stool so they could reach the countertop.

Their “job” was to take the balls of sugar cookie dough and toss them in a gallon-sized bag of cinnamon sugar in order to make Snickerdoodles.

Then they took the balls out of the bag and put them on a special place on the counter. They loved to “help” mama even though most of the sugar ended up on the counter and floor.

This simple activity also paved the way for a good work ethic in their future—one that will help them earn a living for their families one day.

My philosophy is that we should teach our children to help while they’re young so they will be of genuine help when they’re older.

As teenagers both boys knew how to create a pan of brownies, mix and frost a cake, make their own sandwiches for lunch and cook a three-course meal.

Their older brothers and sister had the same work ethic that helped them learn diligence and earned them full ride scholarships.

We have three children who have garnered college scholarships totaling one million dollars in cumulative value and the rest of our kids are also graduating with no student loan debt from college.

The Secret of Teaching Financial Literacy to Kids - TaxACT

This all started when they were toddlers helping mom cook and learning financial literacy by developing a good work ethic.

Work Ethic

Your child will have daily chores they need to perform for no pay whatsoever.

This is the foundation of a good work ethic that will help them throughout life. The work also needs to be age appropriate.

Younger Children – Even a three-year-old child can help set a table, carry dishes to the sink, & pick up their toys and clothes.

By the time they’re six, they can make their bed with help & put away clean clothes. Praise them frequently.

Middlers – Children between the ages of seven and twelve are beginning to learn how to clean their rooms by themselves, vacuum, dust, take out the trash, clean dishes, unload the dishwasher, sweep, and rake leaves.

Thank them frequently.

Teens – Teenagers should know how to do everything we’ve mentioned so far without supervision and on time.

They should also know how to work for others, participate in volunteer work and eventually get a part time job outside the home.

Their teachers and employers will praise and thank YOU for your child’s great work ethic!

Allowance

An allowance is a wonderful teaching tool. Here are some ideas:

Safe Haven – When kids learn about money while they’re still at home, they have the freedom to fail in a safe haven. If they fail, their parents are there to help train them. A good age to start an allowance is around seven years old, depending upon the child’s maturity.

Same Old, Same Old – It’s important pay the allowance in the same amount on the same day of the week. This gives them something to count on and allows them to budget their needs (and wants) accordingly.

Share, Save & Spend –Parents help kids learn to share (or tithe) 10% of their allowance to their local church or non-profit organization, save at least 10%, and spend the rest wisely.

Kid’s Budgets

These can be fun! You set and pay the budget—but your child keeps the money they don’t spend.

Restaurants – While eating out, set a fair amount for your child to spend on his meal. He may choose to drink water or eat dessert at home in order to come in under budget & keep the extra money!

Fun Days – The next time you go to the movies, zoo or a theme park, set a budget for your child. When the funds run out—it’s gone.

Help them find coupons and discounts to save money. They will learn how quickly money can be spent if they are not careful.

Financial Report Card

The following areas are very specific things that your kids can learn at specific ages.

As you review this list, I think you’ll see daily habits that are already a part of your family’s way of doing business.

You may also find new ideas of skills that can be introduced into your plan to teach them financial fitness.

Age 2 to 4

  • Picks up toys cheerfully
  • Is on a schedule for sleep, play, and work (or school)

Age 4 to 6

  • Makes bed in a basic way (not necessarily neat)
  • Picks up room regularly
  • Brings clothes to hamper
  • Knows how to set and clear the table
  • Knows how to take out the trash

Ages 7 to 10

  • Knows how to sort laundry into whites, coloreds and darks
  • Can fold laundry and put it in everyone’s room
  • Is given an allowance
  • Has a savings account at home and at a bank
  • Manages a fun kid budget (restaurant, zoo, amusement park, etc)

Ages 11 to 12

  • Begins to do additional “jobs” for hire within the home and occasionally for friends or family.
  • Has a savings account with at least $200 to $250 in it.
  • Is learning the meaning of delayed gratification
  • Can save up for half of a larger ticket item they want (bike, skates, video game, etc)
  • Is regularly contributing to a community organization either through volunteer hours or donating goods (clothing, toys, money)

Ages 13 to 15

  • Can manage and balance their own checkbook with supervision
  • Has enough in savings to take out $200 to $300 to start a mutual fund
  • Is able to do outside jobs for hire among approved “employers” in the neighborhood
  • Regularly pays for non-family outings (movies, theme parks, etc)
  • Is saving for a vehicle
  • Is aware of the fact their grades in high school will impact their ability to get into college and earn scholarships for college

Age 16 to 20

  • Can balance a checkbook without supervision
  • Has an additional credit card (on parents account) and can use it responsibly
  • Can manage and balance a clothing budget and personal financial budget
  • Regularly works inside and outside of the home during breaks from school
  • Has paid for 1/3 to 1/2 of the cost of their car
  • Maintains a good GPA (or what they are capable of)
  • Has a regular volunteer position (hospital, coaching, church involvement, etc)
  • Can use social media to learn ways to save money

Keep in mind that even though it “costs” you now, in terms of time, energy and attention, it can pay huge dividends later when they are earning their own way and know the value of a buck.

Want more great tips on how to teach kids about money? Just drop your comments in the comment section.

Posted in Discipline in kids

How To Discipline Your Child: Top 3 Positive Parenting Techniques

It’s the age-old question, isn’t it? For generations, parents worldwide have debated the most effective parenting methods until their kids had kids and those kids had kids.

What’s worse, the division lines are strong – parents on both sides of the camp dig in their heels insisting THEIR way is the most effective way to raise children. All the while, desperate parents are searching for genuinely helpful solutions that will finally bring peace into their homes.

The list is endless, my friend. I know how endless it is because I once asked all of these questions and more after I reached my limit. Having gone to bed hoarse nearly every night from reminding, nagging and yes, yelling – while still seeing NO changes in my kids’ behavior – I knew there had to be a better way.

The list is endless, my friend. I know how endless it is because I once asked all of these questions and more after I reached my limit. Having gone to bed hoarse nearly every night from reminding, nagging and yes, yelling – while still seeing NO changes in my kids’ behavior – I knew there had to be a better way.

How do you discipline your child?

As I mentioned before, we often equate the term “discipline” with “punishment.”

“Punish” comes from the Latin root punir which means “to chastise, take vengeance for, inflict a penalty on, cause pain for some offense.”

But the word “discipline” comes from the Latin word disciplina, which means “to teach, to guide, to instruct.”

That’s the key to correcting our kids’ behaviors – giving them the tools they need to learn an alternative POSITIVE behavior to replace the negative behavior.

When we punish with the intent to have the child “pay” for their mistake, it doesn’t help her learn how to make a better choice next time. Punishment often leads to power contest, and because our kids know poor behavior gets them attention, they’ll keep doing it.

Because these frustrating misbehaviors take up so much of a parent’s energy and patience, they understandably want to know HOW TO RESPOND in the moment. But here’s the problem…if all we do is REACT to parenting problems, we’ll miss the mark (and become completely exhausted.)

Successful discipline requires an initial investment up front. But trust me, my friend, your initial investments will have great behavioral payoffs in the long run.

When it comes to knowing how to effectively discipline your child to achieve LONG-TERM results, here are three areas to get you started:

1. Fill the Attention Basket

Kids need attention, plain and simple. If we don’t keep that “attention basket” full with positive attention, kids will seek out any attention they can get – even negative attention. They’ll push our buttons with negative behaviors because to a kid, even negative attention is a “deposit” in the attention bucket.

This doesn’t mean you have to be at your child’s side 24/7 – just taking a few minutes a day to spend one-on-one with your child, distraction-free and doing something they want to do, will reap immense rewards in their behavior.

Take 10 minutes once or twice a day with each child and play a game they’ve picked or read their favorite book. Let the phone go to voicemail. Don’t respond to the text. Let the dishes sit in the sink.

When you fill your children’s attention baskets positively and proactively, your kids will become more cooperative and less likely to seek out attention in negative ways.

Life is busy for everyone, and finding extra time in the day may be daunting at first, but think of this as an investment in your relationship with your children and in improving their behavior. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, giving them what they need to avoid poor behaviors in the first place can have a great impact.

2. Take Time for Training

As you think about how to discipline your child, it’s important to remember the root meaning of the word – teach, instruct, guide, inform. The best way to discipline your child is to help her make better choices by teaching her the correct behavior or response.

Role-playing is a great way to do this.

For example, if your child is having trouble sharing and this results in her hitting another child, instead of whisking her away to time-out, diffuse the situation and show her the appropriate way to respond.

“I’d really like to play with that tractor when you’re done.”

Or if your child is throwing a tantrum because they are hungry, give them the appropriate language to use, “I’d like a snack, please.”

And here’s the fun part – switch roles and pretend you’re the child and let your little one direct you through making better choices. And remember, like anything, this will take consistency and repetition. Don’t expect your child to respond appropriately after one round of role-playing. But practice makes progress and progress makes more peace in your home.

Lastly, be encouraging when your kids make the right choices – or even show ANY movement in the right direction. “I see you worked hard to clean up the playroom all on your own! That’s such a big help. I really appreciate it.” or “Thank you for sharing the book with your brother. How kind!”

3. Set Limits and Stick to Them

With the busyness that plagues families today, it can be difficult to be consistent in your daily schedules. But the reality is, kids thrive when they have structure and know their boundaries. When the expectations are clearly communicated in advance, kids have a framework to work within.

This doesn’t mean you need to go overboard with hundreds of rules, but focus on what’s most important for your family. Be clear about the ground rules and what happens when someone breaks the rules – make sure that everyone understands the consequences ahead of time and that the discipline is related to the misbehavior.

If he refuses to adhere to your technology time limits, he loses his technology privileges for the next day or week (depending on the age).

But, making her clean the garage because she didn’t do her homework isn’t related and is therefore not an appropriate consequence.

Above all, be consistent. Follow through every time with the agreed-upon consequence when kids push the rules.

Final Thoughts

My friend, this parenting ride can feel overwhelming! I hope you’re feeling a little more hopeful as you implement these starter discipline strategies. Unfortunately, I can never get all of the information I’d love to share with you in one little blog, but I’d love for you to continue learning with me!

I’ll teach you how to get your kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling!

Wishing you all the best on your parenting adventure! Want more great tips on how to teach kids about money? Just drop your comments in the comment section.

Posted in Discipline in kids

6 Ways to discipline your child!

There comes that moment in a parent’s life when that seemingly cooperative little baby suddenly has just one word in his vocabulary – NO! When your child grows into toddlerhood, and then into school years, he wears his individuality and independence with pride. So yes, while tantrums, acting out and general rebellious behavior is a sign of growth and development, it helps to know when it is a sign of something more. And in such cases, disciplining a child with love and empathy is what works best.

What Does Disciplining A Child Really Mean?

Discipline is commonly equated with punishment. However, when punishment is doled out every time a child does something that he is not meant to, it doesn’t send the right signal to him. It just makes him rebel against instructions and orders, and assert his independence by doing the same thing, again. Discipline is about guiding your child towards the right choices. Positive discipline will help your child become responsible, and create trust, instead of pushing him away from you.

What Are Some Tips To Discipline A Child?

Each family has its own parenting style, and this extends to discipline and rule-setting, too. However, here are some basic tips that will help you guide your child when he indulges in behavior that is not okay-

  1. Give attention and empathy: Spend one-on-one time with your child on a regular basis. Use that time to make him feel special, and loved. A child always needs attention, and if you’re not going to give it to him, he will seek it out in different ways. When you give attention regularly, you preempt the need for him to seek negative attention
  2. Set some rules, and stick to them: Explain clearly what is acceptable and what is not. And don’t threaten your child with unrelated punishment. For instance, if he hasn’t put away his games and books, ask him to help clean up, or help with dusting. Don’t threaten to cancel your ice-cream outing. Be consistent when it comes to following these rules. Be firm, but non-threatening
  3. Stay calm: When your child is in the middle of a tantrum, it can be very hard to remain calm. The temptation to yell can be overwhelming, but it is extremely rewarding if you can curb it. Acknowledge her irritation or problem by saying “I know you’re upset, but it is not okay to kick.” If you scream at your child, the message you’re sending is that it is okay to scream and have your way
  4. A united front: Your partner and you need to be in agreement about how you will parent, and what behavior warrants disciplining. If you try to dissuade your child from doing something and your partner is more relaxed about it, your child will use that to his advantage. What he sees is, two people who don’t respect each other’s points of view, and it gives him room to rebel
  5. Set an example: If you leave the sitting room cluttered with your books and newspapers, you can’t expect your child to keep his room tidy. Do everything you want to see your child doing, whether it is speaking politely, or putting dishes away. When your child observes that you are consistent in what you do, he will automatically do the same
  6. Praise good behavior: When your child has done something well, be quick to praise him. Nothing works as a better disciplinary tool than positive attention and encouragement

What Should I Not Do When Disciplining My Child?

When it comes to helping your child grow, it doesn’t help to order, or enforce or threaten. These actions just reinforce negative behavior, and affects the bond that you have with your child. Here are some things to avoid while disciplining your child-

  1. Physical punishment (hitting, spanking): Never hit or spank even when you find that your child’s behavior is testing your limits. In addition to physically harming the child, spanking teaches a child that aggressive behavior is acceptable. A young child only recognizes the pain, and doesn’t see the link between the punishment and his behavior.
  2. Threaten or lie: Sometimes, a parent may be tempted to make up a quick lie to literally scare the child into behaving differently. For e.g., if your child refuses to get ready for bed time despite being sleepy, there’s a tendency to tell him that if he doesn’t sleep, the night monster will make a visit. All this does is harbor unnecessary anxiety and fear in your child’s mind, which in turn will make bed time an unpleasant time.
  3. Offer bribes: This is another quick fix temptation when in the middle of a meltdown. “Just finish your homework and I’ll buy you that game” or “If you eat these vegetables, you can have chocolate.” Every time the child does his homework, he is going to expect a new game, or when he eats a healthy meal, some chocolate.
  4. Break rules that you’ve set for your child:If you’ve set rules, make sure you follow them. You can’t teach him that yelling is not acceptable if you’re yelling yourself.

Your child doesn’t rebel or act out with the intention of hurt or insult you. It isn’t about you, but about him. If he is seeking your attention and doesn’t have it, he will resort to these behaviors to get it. Instead, shower your child with love and kind words. Encourage and praise him when he accomplishes a task, no matter how small! Your child will automatically learn discipline through love.

Teaching kids about money is also an important factor, try to teach them about money management so they have not to face any difficulties in the future.