Tim Connolly

There are many myths out there about food allergies, from the belief that parents overreact about food allergies and they don’t exist to the idea that kids are allergic to everything.

Food allergies are common, but not as common as some parents believe.

That leads us to one of the first myths about food allergies.

1) Any Symptom That You Have After Eating a Food Is a Food Allergy

Food allergies do occur in up to 6 to 8% of children, but many more parents think that their children have reactions to foods that aren’t really caused by allergic reactions. Instead, these children may have a lactose intolerance, food aversion, or other symptoms that have nothing to do with allergies, such as gas and hyperactivity.

Unlike food intolerances, true food allergies occur when a food triggers an immune system mediated reaction. This reaction involves the antibody IgE (immunoglobulin E), which causes certain immune system cells to release histamine, leading to most of the symptoms of a food allergy. If your children have behavioral problems, it might just be the food they are eating. Kids food sensitivities are common but as a parent you take care of these sensitivities.

2) Only Certain Foods Can Cause Food Allergies

It is true that only certain foods are most likely to cause food allergies, but children can be allergic to almost any food, including many fruits and vegetables (oral allergy syndrome). The foods that are most likely to cause food allergies, so-called “allergy foods,” include eggs, milk, peanuts, nuts, soy, wheat, fish, and shellfish.

3) Kids Won’t Outgrow Their Food Allergies

It depends on what they are allergic to, but kids actually can outgrow many food allergies if they completely avoid them (elimination diet) for two or three years. For example, more than 85% of children outgrow allergies to milk, but fewer outgrow allergies to peanuts, tree nuts or seafood.

Still, about 20% of children may outgrow their allergy to peanuts.

4) Peanuts Are the Most Common Food Allergy in Children

Peanut allergies may be the most likely to cause life-threatening allergic reactions (anaphylaxis), but a cow’s milk allergy is the most common food allergy in young children.

5) A Positive Antibody Level Means You’re Allergic to One or More Foods

This is not necessarily true. Some of the newer allergy tests that have become popular, including the RAST and Immunocap RAST, don’t give a simple “yes or no” answer about your child’s allergies. Instead, they give an antibody level, which can range from negative or low to very high. Children with negative or low antibody levels and even moderate levels may not actually be allergic to those foods, so those test results must be interpreted based on the symptoms the child has when he eats those foods.

For example, if RAST testing indications low levels of antibodies for egg whites, but your child eats eggs every day and never has symptoms of a food allergy, then he likely isn’t allergic to eggs.

Interpreting these allergy tests incorrectly is one reason that some kids get diagnosed with multiple food allergies or are told that they are “allergic to everything.”

6) Cooking a Food Makes It Less Allergenic

Proteins are the part of the food that triggers an allergic reaction and some people believe that cooking a food alters the protein enough so that your child won’t be allergic to it anymore. That is why some believe some kids can be allergic to eggs, but still eat a cake that was made with eggs.

According to the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology, most foods “can still cause reactions even after they are cooked,” although “some allergens (most often from fruit and vegetables) cause allergic reactions only if eaten before being cooked.”

7) If You Are Allergic to a Food, It’s OK to Sometimes Eat Small Amounts

This is a dangerous myth. Just because your child didn’t have a reaction after eating a small amount of a food he is allergic to one time, that doesn’t mean that he won’t have a more serious reaction next time. Also, since the best way to outgrow a food allergy is to practice a strict elimination diet, in which you don’t eat the food for a few years, eating small amounts of the food from time to time may decrease your child’s chances of outgrowing his food allergies.

8) Food Allergies Aren’t Real

Food allergies are real. And yes, some people are so allergic to foods that they have reactions if foods are simply made using the same utensils or if they touch the food and don’t actually eat it.

Because food allergies are so serious, be sure to respect a child’s food allergies and alert parents and children when a food might have been made with a food that they are allergic to.

9) It Is Easy to Avoid Foods Your Child Is Allergic To

While it may be easy to avoid the whole foods that your child is allergic to, like milk and eggs, the real problem is that many of these types of foods are ingredients in other foods. So the hard part about avoiding allergic foods is trying to figure out what is actually in the foods that you are thinking about feeding to your allergic child.

Reading food labels of processed foods and asking about the ingredients of foods when you go to a restaurant, your child eats out at school or eats at the home of a friend or family member can help detect hidden ingredients that your child may be allergic to.

10) Food Allergies Aren’t Serious

Food allergies can be deadly.

Each year, there are about 150 deaths a year from severe allergic reactions from foods.

In many cases, a younger child or teenager with a known food allergy might eat the food they are allergic to and may not survive a life-threatening allergic reaction in the following situations:

• At school in a cooking class (a 16-year-old who ate a walnut in Chinese food)
• Eating a cookie on a school outing (a 9-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating bread at home (a 16-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating an egg roll (a-12-year old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a wrap (an 18-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a cookie at a friend’s home (a 17-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating candy at a friend’s home (a 17-year-old allergic to hazelnuts)
• Eating peanut butter at camp (a 17-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating peanuts at home (a 5-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Drinking milk at camp (a 9-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating an egg roll at a restaurant (a 14-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Drinking a protein shake at home (a 17-year-old allergic to milk)
• Drinking a chocolate mix drink at home (a 7-year-old allergic to milk)
• Eating a candied apple at a carnival (an 11-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a wrap at a fast food restaurant in a mall (a 13-year-old allergic to peanuts)
• Eating a cookie at a friend’s home (a 16-year-old allergic to peanuts)

These are among some of the cases reported in a registry maintained by the American Academy of Allergy, Asthma & Immunology and The Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network and are just a few of the deaths from food allergies that occurred between over the years.

If your child has a food allergy, be sure to teach him how to identify and avoid foods that he should avoid, and make sure that he always has an EpiPen available in case he has a serious allergic reaction.

Giving baby a bath without harming that delicate skin is one more minefield for new parents to traverse. Here are a few tips.

When you bring your baby home, you also bring home a bundle of new questions. Everyone has different opinions on the best way to do everything when it comes to raising babies; even a simple question like, “How often should I bathe this kid?” can turn into a heated debate. To help you navigate the minefield of parenting advice, I spoke to a few experts to get the dirt on keeping baby clean.

How do I keep my new baby clean?

It may be tempting to follow the lead of commercials, slathering your baby daily in sweet-smelling soaps in the cute tub you got for your baby shower, then bundling her up in an adorable hooded towel. But hold on, doctors warn: Newborns and infants have delicate skin, and a soapy bath every day can do more harm than good.

“Over-bathing an infant may dry out the skin, making it itchy and rashy,” explained Dr. Kelly M. Cordoro, M.D., a professor of dermatology and pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco who practices at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. “An important distinction here is ‘bathing’ with soaps or other cleansers, versus ‘soaking’ in just water.” Dr. Cordoro, who is also a committee chair for the Society for Pediatric Dermatology, advises new parents to use soap conservatively. “It can be very irritating and unnecessary, as it can wash away the top layer of protective skin cells, natural oils and normal healthy bacteria, leaving the skin dry, itchy and vulnerable to irritation and possibly skin infections.”

Experts suggest a warm bath at bedtime can be helpful in getting an otherwise unwilling baby to rest, but there’s no need to use cleansers that often. A 10-15 minute soak in warm water followed by a liberal coating of moisturizer does the trick, leaving baby cozy and relaxed without the potentially damaging effects of soap on the skin. According to Dr. Cordoro, soapy baths no more than three times a week are sufficient as long as diaper areas are thoroughly cleaned at changing time.

Since bathing can be stressful in the beginning, there are a few things all parents should keep in mind:

• Always check the temperature of bath water. Baby skin is delicate and can scald easily. Check the water with your elbow, which is more sensitive to temperature than your hand. The water should be close to normal body temperature and feel neither hot nor cold to the touch.
• Never leave children unattended in the bath. Accidents can happen in a split second. Infants can slide from their bathing seats, and toddlers can slip and bump their heads. Err on the side of caution and, if you need to leave the room, ask another adult to step in — or grab a towel and take your child with you.
• Babies who are too young to sit unassisted should be bathed in an infant tub with a removable sling or seat that helps support their weight and keeps them from slipping. As babies get older and can sit on their own, the sling can be removed, allowing the baby to sit up in the tub. If a full-size tub must be used, ensure there is a non-slip mat in the bottom to prevent slips.

What if my baby has a skin condition?

Eczema, the name for a group of skin conditions including atopic dermatitis, contact dermatitis and seborrheic dermatitis, is characterized by red, itchy, localized skin inflammation. It’s one of the most common childhood skin issues, affecting about 10 percent of children under 18, according to the National Institutes of Health.

It may seem counterintuitive to give as few as two baths per week to babies with eczema; you want to keep inflamed areas clean, right? But soap and other cleansers can worsen eczema or make an infant more likely to develop the condition, especially if there’s a family history.

In her practice, Dr. Cordoro recommends that parents use a bathing method she calls “soaking and sealing”: soaking the infant in lukewarm water without using soap, then patting dry and applying a gentle moisturizer “to seal in the moisture layer.” Applying a moisturizer to infant skin daily, not just after baths, can decrease the risk of eczema developing or worsening.

What about my older child?

Toddlers and preschoolers live life like it’s their job to get dirty. Surely you need to bathe them every day, right? Maybe not, according to Connecticut-based pediatric dermatologist Dr. Brittany Craiglow.

“Bathing should increase in frequency as children age, but this doesn’t mean that a daily bath is always necessary,” she said. “It is perfectly fine to spot clean when kids get messy with paint or markers, for instance.” Break out the wipes or the wet wash-cloth to clean obvious messes and diaper areas, but save the soap for days when toddlers or preschoolers do what they do best: “If they truly get dirty — such as from playing in the mud — then a bath is a better option.”

There are other exceptions to the no-soap rule. “Kids also should have a bath after being outdoors wearing sunscreen and/or bug spray, swimming or sweating,” Dr. Craiglow said. Soap should be used in these scenarios, but for routine bathing stick to using it only on feet and diaper areas, particularly if kids are prone to dry skin.

What soaps are best?

Infant care is a multi-billion dollar industry, raking in close to $17 billion annually, and skin care products make up a large percentage of overall sales, according to the market research firm Grand View Research. The glut of products on the market coupled with flashy advertising and keywords that trigger the ever-present “mom-guilt” make it difficult to sniff out what’s actually best for your baby versus who simply has the best marketing campaign.

Dr. Cordoro advises parents to use the less-is-more approach when choosing grooming products for their children: “It is best to avoid or reduce fragrances, perfumes, dyes and other additives when it comes to cleansers and moisturizers, especially if your child has sensitive skin or eczema.” Does that mean parents should opt for the more expensive organic products? Bear in mind that aromatics, botanicals and essential oils can trigger allergic reactions just as synthetic ingredients can. Some organic ingredients can also dry skin or worsen skin problems like eczema.

If your baby has a known skin condition, your safest bet is to consult with your pediatrician or dermatologist before choosing any topical grooming products. As with everything parenting-related, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. What works best for your baby may not be what works best for someone else’s child — or even what worked best for your other children. Talk to your child’s health care provider and do what works best for your baby. If your children have behavioral problems, it might just be the food they are eating. Kids food sensitivities are common but as a parent you take care of these sensitivities.

Modeling healthy digital habits has become more and more challenging as our smartphones become intertwined with nearly every aspect of our lives.

In my household, my husband and I use our iPhones for everything: reading the newspapers, reading books, finding and cooking from recipes, listening to music, chatting with family members and taking and looking at pictures. As the mom of a 2.5-year-old, I am often angry at “experts” who want me to limit my “screen time” in front of my kid. How is reading a recipe from a cookbook, reading the paper from a physical copy, listening to music via a CD player or answering a corded phone better? Should we go back to being Luddites? What is the answer?

— Muna Shikaki of Washington, D.C.

We loved this question for many reasons.

First, while there’s a lot of guidance about how often children should use digital technology and which types of technology are best, technology use among parents is still an emerging field of research. The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, has a policy statement about media and young minds. But there’s no comparable advice for parents on managing our own phone use in front of our kids.

Second, as on-demand technology has become intertwined with nearly every aspect of our lives, many parents — myself included — find ourselves using our devices even more often than we did just a few years ago.

We’ve heard the warnings about chronically distracted parenting, and often feel guilty if we glance at our phones instead of hanging on our toddler’s every word. But avoiding our devices altogether seems unrealistic.

In my family, our phones are used for everything Ms. Shikaki mentioned and more, including buying toilet paper in bulk, checking the weather and depositing checks — mine also functions as our new TV remote after our 2-year-old accidentally broke the original. So how do we create boundaries with our smartphones? Is it even possible to set limits?

Parents have always had distractions. But the temptation offered by a smartphone — where anything you need or want is immediately accessible — can be very different, experts say. We know we shouldn’t look at our phones so much, but we can’t turn away.

That’s by design, said Brandon McDaniel, Ph.D., a research scientist at the Parkview Research Center in Fort Wayne, Ind., who studies digital disruptions, or “technoference,” and the ways in which technology affects families and children.

“When in the course of human history have we had a device as powerful as this that has been in our pocket or in our hand at every single moment of our waking lives?” he asked.

It’s crucial to realize that we use our phones a lot more than we think we do, Dr. McDaniel said. Americans check their phones an average of 52 times a day according to one study. Another study, which surveyed more than 2,300 parents of children age 8 and younger, found that parents use their smartphones an average of 1 hour and 34 minutes per day while they’re at home (and that doesn’t include time spent talking or texting).

“If we don’t become mindful of our use while we’re around our very young children — our infants and our toddlers and our preschoolers — then that’s very problematic because they rely on us so much to learn how relationships work, to feel cared for, to have their needs met,” Dr. McDaniel said.

There are no blanket rules to follow: It might take some trial and error, and it’s up to each family to figure out what works best. But here are a few techniques that may help you become more thoughtful and intentional about how you use your phone when you’re with your children.

Tell your child what you’re doing online.

When we tap and scroll on our screens, children can no longer see and hear what we’re doing: Context disappears, we gaze downward and our expressions go blank.

Sometimes that’s O.K.

Children don’t need to know everything, and obviously parents need to have private moments both online and offline. The difficulty comes when children start to feel shut out — as though the screen often takes precedence over their needs.

Taking a bit of time to explain what you’re doing on your phone can help children understand why you’re distracted while also demonstrating that digital devices can be used in the context of relationships and problem solving.

Here’s how it might work: Imagine a hypothetical situation where you just picked up your child from day care and your partner texts to ask if you’ll pick up dinner on the way home.

“You can say to your child, ‘Oh, Daddy asked us to stop at the supermarket and buy a chicken, let’s write him back and tell him that we’ll get a chicken for him.’ And you can actually show the screen — just like with a storybook you can point at the words,” said Rebecca Parlakian, the senior director of parenting programs at Zero to Three, a nonprofit research and training organization for early childhood development in Washington, D.C.

“The more that we point out text in our child’s life,” she added, “the more that they learn the symbolic nature of the words that they see in the world around them.”

Pick a time to focus on your phone.

A 2018 study co-authored by Dr. McDaniel found that the more stressed out parents were, the more often digital disruptions happened. They also found that these disruptions can displace opportunities for parent-child connection that are important to child health and development.

But sometimes you just need to pay a bill, text your friends or order some more toilet paper, without turning it into a teachable moment.

Sometimes you need to unwind with a funny video: Raising young children can be tedious and exhausting.

“It’s not helpful to say parents are to blame and to add more guilt onto them,” Dr. McDaniel said. “Although, we should realize that parents ultimately do have more power in the parent-child relationship and so should be responsible.”

If you need (or want) to use your phone for an extended period of time, set aside a block of time where you can focus uninterrupted, perhaps while your child is napping, or at the end of the day.

“I think what’s so hard about devices is they’re ever-present and so it really takes some discipline on the part of the adult to be able to think ‘What do I have to do on my phone? When can I find the least intrusive time to do that?’” said Roberta Schomburg,executive director of the Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and Children’s Media.

Create technology-free zones.

Each of the experts I spoke with emphasized the importance of setting aside time to be fully present with your child, without interference from a device. By designating technology-free zones in your home or technology-free periods during the day, Dr. McDaniel said, families can create more opportunities for meaningful interaction.

Some parents might choose to put away their phones the moment they come home from work and pick them up again after their children go to sleep. Others might make a rule to never bring a phone into their child’s bedroom.

“You’re going to have to try and try and try again to figure out what works and does not work” in order to maximize the quality of the time that you spend with your children, Dr. McDaniel said, adding that some parents may need more access to their devices than others.

Model healthy digital behavior.

Spend some time thinking about when and why you’re turning to your phone. Phone use can become dysfunctional if you’re continually using your phone to escape from the inevitable boredom and stressors that can accompany parenthood. If that sounds familiar, “try to think of what would be a better way to do this right now where I’m not just withdrawing into my phone,” Dr. McDaniel said.

Studies show that frequent technoference can affect how sensitive and responsive we are to our children. By focusing on our phones we may miss some of our child’s cues, Dr. McDaniel said, prompting our children to act out and our stress levels to increase in what can become a tough-to-break cycle.

When possible, try to use your phone jointly with your children, Dr. Schomburg suggested. For example, you can both FaceTime with Grandma or scroll through family photos.

“It helps them learn that this is something that we can use in a social situation with people we care about, and it doesn’t have to be something you do alone, staring at your screen,” she said. “Because I think so many children are getting that message.”

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Help your preschooler learn new words to establish early reading skills

Before a child can learn to read, she needs to have a good, well-rounded understanding of basic words and what they mean. And while that may sound a bit overwhelming, there are very easy ways that you can build a preschooler’s vocabulary and introduce early reading concepts.

In fact, you probably do a whole lot of them normally, throughout the course of your day or week without even noticing it.

From reading aloud to your preschooler to simply engaging in conversation, you are helping your little one learn words—how they work, what they mean, how they are the same, how they are different, and much more.

Parents can help with language skills even when their child has speech delays. In fact, the more that parents do to help children overcome challenges, the better prepared the child will be for kindergarten.

Parents of children with disorders such as autism, apraxia of speech, and stuttering issues may want to consult with a speech therapist before getting started. Often, therapists can recommend effective techniques for building spoken and receptive language skills.

Here are some easy and fun vocabulary-building activities that you can do every day that will help you teach your child new words.

1. Visit the Library

If you are looking for a great place to start building your preschooler’s vocabulary and early reading skills, look no further than your local library. Research shows a strong correlation between library use and literacy-building skills in young children.

If you aren’t sure what to do when you get there, ask your librarian for help.

Just being around a place where there are a lot of books and literary references will go a long way to helping your preschooler feel comfortable about reading. 

Children’s libraries often have fun and engaging events and activities for young children, which will expose them to new words and give them an opportunity to socialize.

2. Substitute Synonyms

An easy way to introduce your child to new words is to use them yourself. After all, you are your child’s first and best role model. 

One way to do this is to become a walking thesaurus and substitute synonyms for various words. While synonyms are typically words that mean the same thing, often times a synonym is more descriptive than the original word.

When it comes to preschool vocabulary building, enormous is always better than big. Here are some other suggestions:

• cold: cool, chilly, bitter, freezing, raw
• hot: warm, humid, boiling, tropical
• smart: clever, bright, brilliant, wise

3. Teach and Reinforce the Alphabet

Singing the ABC song provides children who are learning the alphabet with some reinforcement and confidence. The bonus: it’s a great way to keep your preschooler busy on long car rides, in waiting rooms, or while waiting on lines.

You can also play games using the alphabet, such as I’m Going On a Picnic or the Alphabet Game, where you name items that start with letters in alphabetical order.

Your little one may also enjoy playing learning games online that focus on building alphabet skills.

4. Use Descriptive Words

When it comes to increasing your child’s vocabulary, more is better. The more words that your child hears on a daily basis, the more she’ll learn, absorb and eventually put to use herself.

Try to use a variety of descriptive words in daily conversation. For example, when describing a fabric pattern, try using words such as unusual, relaxing, or creative. These words may be beyond a toddler’s understanding right now, but by using them in the proper context you’ll make them more comprehensible.

5. Make Labels

If you want your preschooler to learn more words, then make it easy. In addition to saying them often, show them too.

Build on her basic comprehension of well-known words by using a label maker to name commonly used items so she learns to recognize what the word looks like.

For example, if her toys are separated into different bins of like items, label the bins, such as blocks, dolls, cars, books, etc.

6. Become a Super Sorter

Seeing is learning when it comes to introducing new words. Teaching your preschooler how to sort and categorize will help their logical thinking and build their vocabulary.

A good way to help preschoolers learn new words is to take what they are hearing and help them to visualize it. Use flashcards or cut pictures out of magazines for this game.

7. Practice Rhymes

Rhyming is not only fun, but it is also an easy way to get your toddler thinking about how different words can relate to each other.

How many rhyming words can your preschooler come up with? The fat cat sat on the mat. The white kite flew at night.

There are many bedtime stories to read for your children which leads to developing a good relationship with them.

8. Read Aloud Together

Besides being a wonderful way to spend quality time with your preschooler, reading aloud is a great way to expose them to new words.

Choose books that are of interest to your preschooler but that use words that are slightly above their understanding.

Together you can work through what they mean, by using context—the other words on the page and any pictures that might be on the page as well. 

Continue Working With Your Pre-Reader

As you can see, increasing your child’s vocabulary isn’t difficult, but it is necessary as they begin their journey to reading.

In some cases, such as taking your child to the library or labeling items in your home, preplanning is required. But for the most part, helping your child learn and incorporate new words is just a natural part of your day.

In education, there are a variety of different teaching methods all designed to help children learn effectively and thoroughly. Some methods work well together, while others do better when they are applied individually.

Scaffolding (also known as scaffold learning, scaffold method, scaffold teaching, and instructional scaffolding) is a very popular method in early childhood education. It functions well when applied alongside other strategies and works similarly to how scaffolding is used in construction. 

What Is Scaffolding?

When building, scaffolding is a temporary structure used to support a work crew and materials to aid in the construction, maintenance, and repair of buildings.

The philosophy is similar in early childhood education and works almost the same way to build independence in children.

The idea is that new lessons and concepts can be more readily understood and comprehended if support is given to a child as they’re learning.

It can also involve teaching a child something new by utilizing things they already know or can already do.

How Scaffolding Works in Early Childhood Education

When using scaffolding with young children, a teacher will provide students with support and guidance while the students are learning something new and age-appropriate or just slightly above what a student can do him or herself. As the children learn the skill, the support is lessened as their abilities develop and until they can do the new skill all on their own.

Scaffolding works best when educators employ the method in different ways, including:

• Making suggestions: If a child is having trouble completing a project, an educator could offer hints or partial solutions that might help solve the problem, while still encouraging the child to problem solve on their own. For example, “That block tower keeps falling down. One way we could fix it is by putting all the bigger blocks on the bottom. What other ways do you think we could help it stay up?”
• Asking probing questions: This encourages a child to come up with an answer independently. In the block tower example, a teacher could ask, “What do you think would happen if we didn’t build the tower quite so tall?”
• Using demonstrations: In the block tower example, an educator who is scaffolding could make their own smaller version of a block tower to demonstrate how the blocks work best.
• Introducing a prop: Additionally, the teacher could encourage the child to use different resources to help the block tower stay up and think out of the box by coming up with a creative solution. “What do you see in our classroom that would help support our block tower? Maybe if we turn that pencil holder upside down, that could help. Can you think of anything else?”

• Posing limited-answer questions: If a child is having trouble coming up with an answer to a question on their own, a teacher who’s scaffolding can provide multiple answers to choose from in order to help the child come up with a correct response independently.
• Providing support: When a task is proving tough, the teacher could help a child think through alternatives. Or get a child off on the right foot by discussing the steps needed to complete a task.
• Offering encouragement: Praising a child for attempting or completing a task, with even a simple “Good job!” increases a child’s confidence and sense of self-competence.

In early childhood education, scaffolding can be implemented in many ways. For example:

• If a child knows how to draw a straight vertical line, you can then show them how to draw a straight horizontal line. Once those two skills are mastered, they can put it together to draw a square.
• Once a child recognizes a specific letter, you can teach the sound and then words that start with that sound.
• A child that can use safety scissors can utilize that skill to use a hole punch.

Why Scaffolding Aids Child Development

Scaffolding is helpful because it helps young children who are new to a school environment build confidence while learning. If a child gives the wrong answer to a question, a teacher using a point-system for kids and scaffolding method can use that incorrect response coupled with a previously learned skill to help the child come to the correct conclusion on their own.

Preschool-age children are learning a lot! From potty training to controlling their temper, they are discovering what is expected of them and trying to do their best. Parents can encourage good behavior by setting up a reward system that is sure to get their attention.

Why Is a Reward System Important for Preschoolers?

Here’s the thing about preschoolers. They like to do things their own way on their own time. So when you want to encourage a new behavior — potty-training, doing simple chores, or something of the like — a great way to do it is to set up a reward system.

A positive form of discipline, a reward system for children does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as stickers on a chart or buttons or beans in a jar. Whatever method you choose, the object is to keep track of good behavior so your child will continue acting that way in the future.

Setting up a Reward System for Your Children

1. Explain the concept to your preschooler. Before you start, talk to your preschooler about what it is you’d like him to strive for.

In my house, it was getting my three-year-old to pull up his own pants after he went to the bathroom. For others, it may be how many days she can go without a temper tantrum or for every meal she is able to clear her plate.

Whatever the behavior, explain to your preschooler what you are looking for and what the ground rules are.

2. Set ground rules. In our case, my son could earn two stickers each time he went to the bathroom — one for pulling up his underpants and one for pulling up his pants or shorts. He had to pull them all the way up in order to earn his prize.

Talk about what it is you want your preschooler to do and what she needs to do to succeed. Some parents like to offer a grand prize — fill up the bean jar or earn 25 stickers and the child gets an additional reward. Do whatever works best for your family.

3. Create a reward system. Get your preschooler in on the process.

Gather up posterboard or cardboard, a jar, or whatever you are using, as well as markers and stickers and let your preschooler decorate. If you are making a chart, make sure the tallying method is clear so it is easy to keep track of any rewards your child earns.

4. Try to focus on one or two behaviors at a time. You may have a litany of things you want your preschooler to work on, but it’s a good idea to tackle only one at any given time.

If you are potty training and working on sticking to a bedtime routine, consider putting adding chores to your preschooler’s schedule on the back burner.

Having too many “to-do’s” on your preschooler’s list can be confusing (for you and him). It can also lead to many reward charts decorating your walls (although you might save money on the wallpaper!).

5. Payout perks promptly. Here’s the key to a successful reward system — it must be immediate.

Whether you choose to use a sticker chart or beans in a jar, make sure as soon as your child does the target behavior those stickers or beans are in hand and ready to go. When they go on the potty or get through a meal without a temper tantrum they can be duly recorded.

Most preschoolers have no real sense of time yet, so by offering the sticker up right away, you are confirming their good behavior and encouraging them to do it again.

6. Be consistent. In the same vein as being prompt, you need to make sure you are consistent in handing out awards. And don’t give one out if your child hasn’t done the targeted behavior.