Posted in Kids

5 Preventive Maintenance Habits to Keep Your Child Out of the Breakdown Lane

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Would you like a way to avoid power struggles and meltdowns at those inconvenient times, like when you’re trying to get your kids into the car to go somewhere? The answer is Preventive Maintenance. 

What’s Preventive Maintenance? Think about what happens to your car if you don’t fill it with gas, change the oil, and give it a regular tune up. It ends up in the breakdown lane. Life with children isn’t so different. With preventive maintenance, you meet your child’s needs before the unmet needs cause a breakdown.

Unfortunately, parents aren’t given a preventive maintenance plan for their children. But if you don’t refill your child’s love tank with acknowledgment and validation, roughhouse with him daily so he gets some good giggling in, and give her regular one-on-one time, you can count on more breakdown time. 

Unfortunately, once your car is in the breakdown lane, your options are limited. Similarly, there are only so many things you can do once your two year old is in meltdown mode when you’re trying to buckle him into his carseat, or your twelve year old is lying to you about drinking with his friends. The trick is to prevent the breakdown to begin with.

So if you’re having an ongoing problem with your child, it’s worth asking what kinds of preventive maintenance might keep you from ending up in the breakdown lane so often. And if you have more than one child, you certainly can’t always be available for meltdowns when your child “blows.” That means that your primary parenting strategy has to be prevention.

Here’s your 5-step preventive maintenance plan.

1. Make Empathy your go-to way of relating to your child.

Empathy strengthens your relationship with your child, helps you understand her better, and helps her feel understood. That means she feels safer to feel her emotions as they happen, instead of stuffing them in her emotional backpack where they’ll burst out uncontrolled at a later time — so she gains the emotional skills to manage her feelings and behavior. Empathy also helps your child accept your limits.  Ninety percent of your interactions with your child should be about connecting, so she can accept the 10 percent that are about correcting. 

2. Roughhouse daily to get kids laughing.

Children build up anxiety (mild fear) all day long, and they need a way to let it out. What do they have to be anxious about? They’re small people in a big, chaotic, unsafe world. Their brain is still developing, so they often feel overwhelmed by big emotions. They’re not in charge of much that happens to them, so they feel pushed around a lot. They also often feel scared about things from mundane (what if the teacher calls on them?) to huge (what if you stopped loving them, or died?)

Luckily, nature has designed humans with a great way to off-load anxiety: giggling. Laughter really is the best medicine, and the best way to get your child laughing is physical games that very mildly provoke a fear response. Roughhousing also triggers bonding hormones, so it builds trust. This is important for all kids, but especially critical if your child is highly sensitive or has any past traumas to work out, large or small. That includes past punishment and yelling, if you’re making the transition from conventional to peaceful parenting.

(Tickling isn’t the best way to get kids laughing. It seems to involve a different physiological response so it doesn’t accomplish the goal of release, and it can make kids feel out of control. If your child begs for tickling, try “pretend tickling” where you threaten to tickle, but don’t actually make contact.)

3. Make time for Special Time.

Life has a way of disconnecting us. Spending one-on-one time with each child daily is your most important tool to build trust, stay connected, build self-esteem and help your child express his emotions. Turn off your phone (yes, really!) and let your child take the lead, while you simply delight in your child. Many parents tell me that once they start daily Special Time, their problems with their child diminish dramatically, whether the problem is aggression between siblings, tantrums, power struggles or defiance.

4. Use Routines.

You don’t have to be a slave to the schedule, but regular routines minimize your job as head cop, reduce power struggles and increase your child’s sense of safety. Routines also make it more likely that your child’s needs for sleep, food, and unscheduled time will be met, which gives them more inner resources to face the demands of the day.

When you incorporate connection opportunities into the routine, it not only helps your child feel loved; it also makes the routine go more smoothly, because your child feels more cooperative. So be sure that your daily routine includes a morning snuggle with each child, a family hug and high five before you leave the house, and/or appreciations all around the table at dinner.

If you work with your child to take photos of the routine and make a chart, he can start taking charge of moving through the routine himself, which reduces power struggles and resistance. All children want to be “in charge” of themselves!

5. Welcoming Emotions.

Emotions are a message. Once we get that message, they begin to evaporate. If we try to push them away, we may push them out of our conscious awareness, but the feelings are still there in the body, waiting for us to notice them. I call that the Emotional Backpack, because we end up lugging those emotions around until we have a safe opportunity to feel them and let them go.

Sometimes, our empathy is enough support for kids to notice what they’re feeling and move through it. Other times, children become whiny, demanding, impossible to please. They try to pick fights with us. They can’t express it in words, but they know they just don’t feel right. That’s a sign that your child needs to cry.

So welcome those tears; they’re nature’s way of healing us. When your child is cranky, aggressive, or simply seems unhappy, instead of sighing and hoping she’ll snap out of it, think of those early warning signals like red lights on the dashboard. Time for some preventive maintenance in the form of a scheduled meltdown.

What’s a scheduled meltdown? It’s the same meltdown your child would have had at the playground or supermarket, except you give him a chance to have it in the safety of your home, when you can really listen and empathize without the pressure of schedules or onlookers. 

First, acknowledge any irritation you have at your child, and shift yourself to a more empathic frame of mind, so you can be compassionate. This is essential, because unless you do, your child won’t feel safe enough to move past her anger to the more upsetting feelings that are behind both the anger and her “bad” behavior. So use one of the many posts on this website that show you how to shift yourself back into a calmer state, such as this one: When Your Child Makes You Want to Scream: 10 Steps To Calm.

Your goal is to help your child express what’s going on. Most kids can’t articulate it, of course, but if you help him, he can show you.

Your warm presence will create the safety he needs to let himself feel those uncomfortable tears and fears behind his anger. If you can stay compassionate enough (which is the challenge for most parents), he’ll feel safe enough to go behind the anger to show you his hurts. Sometimes he can express them verbally, but often he’ll just need to cry. Afterward, he’ll feel better — and act better.

Remember that showing you the more vulnerable feelings driving the anger is what’s therapeutic, not the anger. He needs a witness to brave all that hurt, loneliness, powerlessness and fear that he’s been stuffing down. After a good cry, he’ll be back to his best self. He’ll feel closer to you. And since you’ve gotten the meltdown out of the way at a time when you can really listen, you’ve just dodged the tantrum that would have happened right when you had to leave the house to pick up his sister.

So that’s preventive maintenance. You’ll find that investing this time up front actually saves you time. That’s because children raised with empathy, roughhousing, special time, routines and welcoming emotions are better able to regulate their emotions, and therefore their behavior. So you can spend more time laughing and connecting, and less time in the breakdown lane. Rain or shine, there are plenty of outdoor learning opportunities for your children- both in childcare and at home. So go outside, get dirty, and have fun! and learn new things at Dad blogs about parenting and kids.

Posted in Parenting

Most parents say hands-on, intensive parenting is best

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Most parents say a child-centered, time-intensive approach to parenting is the best way to raise their kids, regardless of education, income or race.

New research from Cornell University suggests intensive parenting has become the dominant model for how parents across the socio-economic spectrum feel children should be raised, regardless of whether the parent has the resources to actually do so.

“This points to the exceptionally high standards for how parents should raise their kids,” said postdoctoral fellow Patrick Ishizuka, author of “Social Class, Gender and Contemporary Parenting Standards in the United States,” published in Social Forces. “It suggests that parents are experiencing significant pressure to spend great amounts of both time and money on children.”

Most parents said intensive parenting is the ideal approach for both mothers and fathers, and applies to parenting boys and girls, according to the study.

Field researchers have known that parents with low incomes and less education tend to spend less time and money on children than those with higher incomes and more education. But it hadn’t been clear whether that is because they lack resources or because they prefer a different approach to childbearing.

Ishizuka’s study is the first to directly address the question using a nationally representative survey, asking parents of different social classes what they consider to be “good parenting.” He analyzed data from more than 3,600 study participants who were parents.

The vast majority, 75 percent, of college graduates and non-college graduates rated an intensive approach as “very good” or “excellent” parenting.

The findings imply parents may struggle to meet these ideals, especially if they have low incomes and education levels. You should teach your kids by taking help from Point-system for kids which would help you to develop a healthy and happy child.

Posted in Parenting

12 Ways to Ensure Your Kid is More Important Than Your Phone

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Parents don’t need more guilt. That’s not what this article is about.

We know we shouldn’t spend too much time on our smartphones in front of our kids. We’ve read articles like “For The Children’s Sake, Put Down That Smartphone,” and “Children reveal ‘hidden sadness’ of parents spending too much time on mobile phones.”

But you probably already feel a tinge of guilt when you think of this topic. I know I do.

We parents are beginning to admit that we’re as concerned about our screen time as we’re concerned about our kids’ screen time.

Unlike our kids, however, we actually have reasons for looking at screens all day.

We have email, schedules, research, updates, shopping, messaging, mapping, planning – sometimes even calling.

Let’s admit it – again, without guilt or judgment – we also look at our screens for entertainment and distraction. Those are parental needs too.

Our phone dependence is a symptom of busy lives, busy work, restless minds. But the devices themselves are rigged against us. Intentionally or not, their design can trigger addiction-like behaviors in many people. As noted on Quartz,“Still, there’s plenty of research out there describing the dopamine effect—a neurotransmitter that sends pulses to your brain’s reward and pleasure centers with every new text or tweet—and the widespread addiction to that momentary pleasure, which has been compared to cravings for nicotine, cocaine, and gambling.”

Indeed, according to this recent Gallup poll, “about half of U.S. smartphone owners check their devices several times an hour or more frequently.”

The attention we devote to our phones has a measurable impact on our health, wellbeing, and social and family relationships.

Psychology professor Larry Rosen has shown that “if there’s a phone around—even if it’s someone else’s phone—its presence tends to make people anxious and perform more poorly on tasks.”Volume 0% FEATURED VIDEO ALL OUR VIDEOS

Staring at our phones gives us tech neck, it can spike stress, it can disrupt sleep patterns, it can lead to distractedness and irritability, and it may even trigger depressive symptoms in some people.

The intense attention we devote to our smartphones has a major, measurable impact on our health, wellbeing, and social and family relationships.

But in a family situation, the greatest problem might be “technoference” with our relationships with our spouse and kids.

Kids can feel that we’re more interested in our phones than we are interested in them.

The good news is that this is a fixable problem. For most people, it’s simply a matter of admitting to the issue, and making a simple plan with the rest of the family.

Help Your Kids Develop Healthy Habits by Improving Your Tech Habits

David Hill of the American Academy of Pediatrics said that positive parenting practices around technology include role-modeling.

“Demonstrate your own mindfulness in front of your children by putting down your phone during meals or whenever they need your attention.” – David Hill

Here are some ideas to help you create healthy phone boundaries.Boundaries that your kid might inherit and follow outside of your home, and may even pass down to their own kids someday.

 1 ) Take Stock of Your Actual Phone Needs 

Tim Harford writes that “smartphones are habit-forming, so think about the habits you want to form.”

Every parent has unique technology-related needs. Many of us legitimately need to get on our phones. But most of us get on the phone in front of our kids more than we need to.

It’s useful to write a list of your important everyday phone activities. This list will be slightly different for every parent. What activities are critical for your job vs those that are fun and refreshing?

Use this list to make time to check your phone without interrupting family moments. Account for work and play on your phone – you need both.

Reassert control over your phone by figuring out how you actually use it. Don’t let it use you.

 2) Involve the Kids in a Family Discussion About Appropriate Smartphone Use 

Even young kids can contribute to a discussion about phone use around the house. This will help them understand why you occasionally need to get on the phone. It will also help them understand why you set rules on their technology usage.

David Hill of the American Academy of Pediatrics also suggests involving kids in making rules around media.Ask them what they think appropriate electronic media use looks like and what sorts of consequences might be warranted for breaking the agreed-upon rules. You may have to help guide them in these discussions, but often you’ll find that they have expectations that are not that different from your own.

 3) Write and Post Smartphone Rules Where Everyone Can See Them 

This can be a rambling manifesto, but it’s better if it’s a simple, short list posted on the fridge.Again, they’ll be different for every family, but examples might include:

  • No phones out for the first hour after coming home
  • No phones out until the kids are in bed
  • No phones out during meals
  • No phones out during a family movie (the hardest one for me – kids’ movies are terrible).

 4) Give Kids Ten Minutes of Undivided Positive Attention 

One of my favorite family tips of all time comes from my friend Sarah Woodard, who learned about it from  Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions.

It’s simple: give your kids 10 minutes of pure, undivided attention twice a day. This means you go into their world talking with them or playing with them with no interruptions. This supports positive attention and emotional connection, and it’s very doable. 10 minutes. Try it for a couple of weeks.

To make an effort to spend a mere 10 minutes of undivided time with your kid seems ridiculous.But for many (maybe most) parents, intentional time spent together can be surprisingly rare.

 5) Understand, Admit, & Overcome FOMO 

FOMO (fear of missing out) can cause real anxiety. It can make people use their phone to check up with their connections much more than is healthy, or necessary.

You’re best equipped to deal with FOMO by being honest about it. 

 6) Consider Your Habit Triggers 

In The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg wrote  “Most of the choices we make every day may feel like the products of well-considered decision making, but they’re not.”

We automatically reach for our phones in certain situations. Try to pay attention to these cues or triggers. When do you automatically reach for your phone? What can you do differently during those times, besides look at your phone?  Or how can you change the way you’re using your phone in those moments to include your kids?Charles Duhigg also wrote “The Golden Rule of Habit Change: You can’t extinguish a bad habit, you can only change it.”

If might not be a bad thing of you read the news on your phone at breakfast in front of your kids – if you occasionally share something of interest with them. Kind of like the old days with the newspaper.

“Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.” – Charles Duhigg

 7) Designate a Box or Drawer Where You’ll Stash Your Phone During Phone-Free Time 

 8) Put the Phone On Silent During Set Times 

 9) Turn off Notifications 

  • iOS Instructions
  • Android Instructions

 10) Use “Do Not Disturb” on Your Phone During Family Time 

It’s easy to silence calls, alerts, and notifications on many iOS and Android phones while the device is locked. You can also schedule a time or choose who you’ll allow calls from.

  • How to set up Do Not Disturb on iOS
  • Android phones with Marshmallow also have a “Do Not Disturb” feature

 11) Make your device faster and more efficient to use 

You can spend less time on your phone simply by better organizing your apps.

  • Use a service like Unroll.me to unsubscribe to some of the email subscriptions you have to wade through just to check your important mail.
  • Rearrange your apps for greater efficiency.
  • Delete apps that waste your time. Easier said than done, but I’m glad I recently did this every time I use my phone.

 12) Use An App To Monitor Usage 

CHECKY is a simple app that tells you how many times a day do you check your phone. You’ll be surprised.

Moment is an iOS app that automatically tracks how much you use your iPhone and iPad each day.If you’re using your phone too much, you can set daily limits on yourself and be notified when you go over.You can even force yourself off your device when you’re over your limit. There are many bedtime stories to read for your children which leads to developing a good relationship with them.

Posted in Parenting

Women with big jobs and big families: Balancing really isn’t that hard

Posted on by Tim Connolly

The autonomy and career capital that come with executive roles help you delegate on the job. You often have the resources to be strategic at home too — and the organizational skills to pull it all off. Professional women with four or more children share their secrets for managing life, secrets that can help any parent (dads too!) succeed.

1. What’s good for the family is good for each kid. 

If you have a large family, you’re managing a complex organization. “I started to realize I’m leading at work, and I’m leading at home, and the skill set is no different,” says Liz Wiseman, a former Oracle executive, entrepreneur, and mom of four. Leadership means being focused on the whole, particularly in managing children’s lives. Women handled potential extra-curricular craziness two ways. First, “We make them all do the same thing,” says Jaime Teevan, a researcher with Microsoft Research and a professor at the University of Washington, who has a 6-year-old, 8-year-old twins, and a 10-year-old. Tuesdays, her boys all do judo at the same time. She meets a girlfriend for happy hour at a brewery across the street. Net result? “I look forward to judo. It’s awesome.”

The other approach is to choose your location wisely. Mary Crotty, assistant general counsel at Pfizer and a mother of eight, lives in Pelham, NY, in a part of town where “a lot of the things are actually walkable,” she says. Jenny Dearborn, chief learning officer at SAP, and a mom of four, says that this is the upside of California: “We live in a part of the world where the weather permits them to go to places on their bikes.”

2. Enlist the village. 

Crotty’s children are close enough in age that with sports “a lot of times they would end up on the same team.” Even so, it’s impossible for two parents to get eight kids to everything, so “I have a lot of wonderful people in town who always help us out,” she says.

3. Embrace work/life integration.

 Lisa Lacasse is the vice president for strategy and operations at the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network. She also has four teenagers. “I just do everything all the time,” she says. “I’ll go to work and spend 20 minutes during downtime finalizing logistics for summer camp.” She works the hours that work for her, coming in a little later if she’s got a school event, and then making up the time elsewhere. “I’ve never asked permission for the flexibility of my job,” she says. In life, it’s sometimes better to ask for forgiveness, which may not be necessary if you do good work. “I think women in particular need to feel more empowered to do that,” she says. “No one ever told me to do it, I just did.”

4. Prioritize self care.

 Managing a big career and a big family takes energy. So smart women manage their own energy like they’d manage an important direct report. Sleep is one necessary component. “I’d love to stay up late and do something great, but I go to sleep early and wake up again,” says Liess. Exercise also helps, and you can be creative about fitting it in. Crotty will exercise at 10 p.m. “That’s the time I can finally get to the gym,” she says. “I can always get a parking spot!”

Dearborn manages her early shift and late shift by exercising strategically during what would be an afternoon slump. “Exercise in the middle of the day gives me the boost to get through the end of the day,” she says.

5. Build your team at work. 

Lisa Barton, executive vice president at AEP Transmission, whose blended family consists of five daughters, stresses that work success is all about “investing time in others. That seems counterintuitive to a busy lifestyle, but I think it’s incredibly important. You end up lightening your load and end up giving people the opportunity to be successful, which they really enjoy.” When you can’t delegate, collaborate. “Two people don’t only get half the credit,” says Teevan. “You get almost the whole credit and you only do half the work.”

Seek sponsors and allies too. Crotty notes that her (female) boss encouraged her to seek promotions even with all her responsibilities, and gave her the flexibility to make it work. Wiseman came back from her first maternity leave and figured out that “I can’t solve my problems by working harder anymore. I have to solve them by being thoughtful.” She talked with her (male) boss who said, basically, tell me what you need. “I always felt like I had an ally,” she says, and as she built her career, “For me, it was important that those allies were men.” Many times, men are the ones in powerful positions, and have the capital to help you. It is important for parents to explain government to kids and all the important facts about what is going on in their country.



Posted in Parenting

How to Build Systems for a Productive Life as a Parent

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Much of our frustration and failure in productivity comes from the recurring, mundane, daily must-dos of life. These little, repeating tasks seem so unimportant that we often overlook them. When overlooked, however, these small tasks can add up to pretty big losses in productivity.

Systems help us to deal with the recurring stuff of life; we don’t want to, or need to, eliminate these things. We simply want to make them more efficient. Think “streamlining.” Think “simplifying.”

Think “having a plan for breakfast so you don’t have to run out for milk at [7:30] in the morning when your kids are starving.”

Think systems.

Whether we realize it or not, we depend on systems. This is true in parenting as in all of life. The better our systems are, the easier – and more productive – our lives will be.

Systems Are Everywhere

There’s a system you follow for getting dressed in the morning, for making sure you eat daily, for doing your work.

These may not be the most efficient systems, but they work to some degree.

When you’re a parent, you are responsible not only for the stuff of your own life but also for your child’s life… at least, up until a certain age when we hope that they start taking that responsibility for themselves.

The more responsibilities you have, the more complicated life becomes. The more complicated life becomes, the more overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated we get.

Systems help to reduce the complication.

Sure, you can spend ten minutes every morning scratching your head over what you’re going to make for breakfast that both you and your child will eat – that’s an inefficient breakfast system – or you can build an efficient breakfast system that will save you time and frustration.

Once we start seeing the systems that make up our lives, we can start changing them for the better.

We can change them from the default setting, which is usually inefficient and frustrating. We can consciously and carefully build streamlined, flexible, and enjoyable systems.

That can make life better for us and for our kids.

Where to Start

Start looking for the systems in your life as they already exist. Don’t judge. Don’t stress. Just notice.

As you notice your own systems, you’ll also start to notice where they break down or become frustrating and inefficient.

As you see where your current systems fail, you can start to decide if you need to level it and build a brand-new system, or simply tweak your current one a little bit so it’s working for you.

Where Is the Pain?

Regular pain points in your life are often signs of broken, inefficient, and/or out-dated systems.

What are the areas in your life that fit one or more of these descriptions?

  • This area is a source of continual frustration for me and/or my child.
  • This area is one that I often avoid, consciously or unconsciously, by procrastinating or creating obstacles and distractions.
  • This area is one that is necessary in daily life, but it always seems to take too long and be too complicated.
  • This area is a continual drain of my time, money, or other resources.
  • This area seems to continually create conflicts between the people involved.

For parents in general, and parents who are interested in productivity especially, the following areas are common issues:

  • “Kid clutter”: toys, clothes, and general stuff that collects and gets left everywhere.
  • Transition times: coming and going anywhere, especially on a schedule.
  • Meal times.
  • Bed/nap times.
  • Having your own personal/adult time.
  • Keeping up with regular work demands.
  • Keeping up with household chores such as laundry and cleaning.
  • Having time for hobbies, exercise, personal life, social life, etc., while also being a parent and staying productive.

Do any of those areas strike a chord of pain in you?

An Example of a Bad System

Let’s take “kid clutter” as an example. I have four kids; the oldest is 8. I am continually picking up dirty socks, muddy shoes, balls, Legos, game pieces, paper scraps, and markers and putting them where they belong.

For a while, I thought I just didn’t have a good enough system for storing and organizing this stuff.

But I do, really. There are designated places for all of these things. My kids know where things go.

The problem was not the storage system, but the “getting stuff back where it belongs” system. Was there a system already in place? Sure. It was a very basic but effective one: the old “Kids drop stuff wherever they want and Mom goes around and picks it all up” system.

It was pretty efficient for my kids, but not for me.

A Better System Starts with a Goal

A better system starts with one simple question: what is the point of the system?

The goal of a system determines how you build the system. So before you can build a better system, examine your goal.

In the “kid clutter” example, if my goal is merely to have a clutter-free area, then the system is working. I’m putting away the clutter.

But that isn’t the goal.

The goal is to get my kids to put their own stuff away, so that

a) I can do other stuff and;

b) We can have a clutter-free (or at least clutter-reduced) home.

Components of a Better System

Let’s take a look at some common system components.

  • Goal. As discussed above, what is the point of the system? What behavior are you trying to produce? What is the desired output of the system? Figure this out first, as it will direct the entire system.
  • People. Who’s involved? Who does the work? Who maintains the system? Who needs to know about the system? Who is a threat to the system?
  • Capability. This includes both the mental ability (knowledge, memory) and the physical ability to use the system. There’s no point in asking my kids to put their toys away on a shelf they can’t reach.
  • Resources & Supplies. Resources are the reusable parts or tools in a system, e.g., a hammer. The supplies are the consumables, e.g., nails. Resources have to be maintained. Supplies have to be restocked. Both resources and supplies need to be organized in a defined space.
  • Space. What area does the system cover? Is it a portable or a fixed system? What space is designated for storing the system’s supplies and resources?
  • Methods. What are the steps in the system? What behavior is required from system users?
  • Prompting. What activates the system? Is it a certain time (schedule-initiated) or is it linked to another event or habit?
  • Tracking. How do you know the system is working? Tracking can be very simple. It can be an accountability set-up, a part of your daily or weekly review, or a scheduled look at the system to judge if the system is meeting its goal.

Build, Implement, and Adjust

To start using systems consciously in your life as a productive parent, the first step is to identify the system you need to build.

Then you build it.

Start by defining the goal. Then go through each component on the list above, defining and organizing what your system requires. It’s best if you write it all down so you can have something to reference.

Next you implement the system.

Start using it. Make sure all the components are in place. Don’t try to use a half-built system. Wait until you have what you need. It doesn’t have to be perfect, or perfectly arranged, but it does need to be complete. Otherwise it will break at that missing piece and you will become frustrated with the system.

Use your system consistently for at least a week.

Then adjust it.

Usually we won’t get our systems right the first time through. We’ll use them, and realize that as an example, steps 5 through 7 of the system can be eliminated, or that the space we’ve set aside really isn’t adequate, or something like that.

After a week of consistent use, review your system. Is it working? Is it reaching the goal?

Can it be simplified, streamlined, improved?

Do the tweaking now, then use it again consistently for a designated period of time before you review and adjust it again.

Remember that every new system will have a learning curve with it. Don’t give up on a system just because it is new, unfamiliar, and a little bit difficult at first.

As you get familiar with your system, you will be able to see how to improve and you will be able to use it – and teach it – almost effortlessly.

What areas in your life as a productive parent would benefit from a good system?

You can get all the knowledge about economics for kids and can easily teach your kids about financial management and how to manage their money in future..

Posted in Kids

Three Reasons to Save Money on Toddler’s Clothing and Accessories

Posted on by Tim Connolly

When you think about fashion, your mind probably lands clothing, jewelry, and accessories for adults. But modern trends in the industry mean that you will find as many chic and popular items for toddlers as you will for grown-ups. There is a wide selection of toddler clothes and accessories that match your own style and your budget in local thrift shops and other secondhand boutiques or consignment shops. If you prefer to shop online, spend some time browsing shops like Pat Pat that offer toddler clothes at great prices. Shopping at high-end, pricier retailers is tempting, but there are three main reasons why saving money on your toddler’s fashion is a better idea.

One-Time Use

Many parents believe in handing down clothes from one child to the next. However, if there is only one child in the family who fits these clothes, keeping the clothes around in unnecessary. You can still pass them along to friends and other family members, but at some point, you have to face the realization that most your toddler’s clothes are only going to be worn once. Why spend a fortune on fashion that makes a short-lived debut and then gets stored? When you shop at thrift stores, you can rest assured that even if these clothes will rarely be re-worn, it won’t break your wallet. If you’re thinking outside the box, you can even find items that are suited for holidays, special occasions, annual events, and common celebrations without cashing out on expensive fancy dresses or costumes.

Changing Trends

Go to any toddler’s birthday party and you will soon notice all the different fashions adorning all the young party guests. Unfortunately, children’s fashion trends change even more frequently than adult trends. It can be difficult to keep up with what’s new and stylish for both toddlers and adults, and don’t you want your children looking their best? When it comes to children, keeping up with those fashionable items will make you the parent of the year. Luckily, you don’t have to cash out on every changing trend- thrift shops often feature deals on new clothes and accessories. At a thrift shop, you can fit items that fit your taste in trends rather than fitting the brand of a specific retail chain. In addition, when the trends do change, many thrift stores don’t mind buying back specific items when your toddler no longer needs them.

Growing Toddler

If you’re already a parent, then you know that kids grow fast and sometimes changes in their clothing sizes can sneak up on you. Scrambling around to malls after every size change is an expensive habit, and thrift stores are a one-stop shop for fractions of the cost of retail stores. The growth of a toddler extends beyond just the size of their clothing, though. There are always going to be certain designs that are cute at one stage in your child’s life, and immature or ill-suiting at other stages. You want to make sure that the design, print, and style meet your toddler’s age. Taking the time to purchase items that are geared toward their developing personality is also important. Many parents often find certain clothes for their child that suits them to a tee. At thrift shops, you can find items that are extremely unique, and your child is bound to find something that he or she will love.

Without even looking in your closet, you can likely name all of the fashion trends your clothes meet, as well as recall where they were purchased, how much they cost you, and which ones are your favorites to wear. Toddler clothing shouldn’t be much different. Although you may never hear your toddler express a preference for one item of clothing over another, it’s still important to have the right clothes for any event. With the likelihood of only one wear, the changing styles in the fashion world, and the reality that your toddler will grow out of everything soon after it’s purchased, spending too much on toddler clothes is a real problem. This is why shopping at thrift stores and boutiques is a perfect solution to all the expensive clothing problems that come with shopping for a child. Go to any toddler’s birthday party and you will soon notice all the different fashions adorning all the young party guests. Unfortunately, children’s fashion trends change even more frequently than adult trends. It can be difficult to keep up with what’s new and stylish for both toddlers and adults, and don’t you want your children looking their best? When it comes to children, keeping up with those fashionable items will make you the parent of the year. Luckily, you don’t have to cash out on every changing trend- thrift shops often feature deals on new clothes and accessories. At a thrift shop, you can fit items that fit your taste in trends rather than fitting the brand of a specific retail chain. In addition, when the trends do change, many thrift stores don’t mind buying back specific items when your toddler no longer needs them.

Growing Toddler

If you’re already a parent, then you know that kids grow fast and sometimes changes in their clothing sizes can sneak up on you. Scrambling around to malls after every size change is an expensive habit, and thrift stores are a one-stop shop for fractions of the cost of retail stores. The growth of a toddler extends beyond just the size of their clothing, though. There are always going to be certain designs that are cute at one stage in your child’s life, and immature or ill-suiting at other stages. You want to make sure that the design, print, and style meet your toddler’s age. Taking the time to purchase items that are geared toward their developing personality is also important. Many parents often find certain clothes for their child that suits them to a tee. At thrift shops, you can find items that are extremely unique, and your child is bound to find something that he or she will love.

Without even looking in your closet, you can likely name all of the fashion trends your clothes meet, as well as recall where they were purchased, how much they cost you, and which ones are your favorites to wear. Toddler clothing shouldn’t be much different. Although you may never hear your toddler express a preference for one item of clothing over another, it’s still important to have the right clothes for any event. With the likelihood of only one wear, the changing styles in the fashion world, and the reality that your toddler will grow out of everything soon after it’s purchased, spending too much on toddler clothes is a real problem. This is why shopping at thrift stores and boutiques is a perfect solution to all the expensive clothing problems that come with shopping for a child. Everyone has to maintain a financial budget and how much money should you save before having a baby, it’s difficult thing but you can learn about it just drop your comments in the comment section.


Posted in Kids

Finding the Right Dance Uniform For Your Little Dancer

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Are you a mom on the hunt for the perfect dance uniform for your kid who is about to start dance class?

If so, you are not alone. Quality dance attire can be difficult to find, especially if you’ve never shopped for it before and have no idea where to look.

4 Reasons Why Finding Dance Uniforms Can Be Difficult

Before we offer some ideas and solutions, let’s take a closer look at the problem first. Why would good dance costumes be so difficult to find? Here are four possible answers.

  1. Your dance class instructor has very strict requirements about what is allowed, which drastically cuts down on your options. Yet, uniforms are not provided; you must find them.
  2. Your child’s dance class has too few requirements on permissible uniforms, making it hard to sift through the myriad of available options with any obvious criteria in mind.
  3. You are a dance class teacher, and it is simply difficult to find a place where you can order just what you want in sufficient quantity and get it delivered on time. Deciding on uniform types is difficult anyway since everyone wants something different.
  4. You simply can’t find what you are looking for in brick-and-mortar stores, and there seemingly isn’t enough time or money for gas to finally find the right uniform.

4 Tips for Finding Your Perfect Dance Uniform

Enough with the problems! Where are the solutions? In the interest of helping you succeed on your dance uniform quest, here are four helpful suggestions:

  1. Shop Online. To maximize your options, save the expense and time consumption of traveling from store to store, and make the shopping process as convenient as possible, look for an online vendor. Just for Kix dance uniforms, for example, are available in an incredible quantity and variety and ship fast to your doorstep.
  2. List and Prioritize. Write down exactly what features, if any, are a must (required by the dance class), and which ones are a top priority for you and your child. Next, list preferences, subordinate “should haves” to narrow things down within the scope of your “must haves.”
  3. Buy Quality and Durability. Almost any dance uniform is going to cost more than an ordinary piece of clothing. It isn’t worth it to save on the quality or to buy something that won’t last just to shave a few dollars off the price tag. Your child might use the uniform for years, or you could give it to a sibling or cousin or resell it down the road, so your investment shouldn’t be wasted.
  4. Make It a “Shared” Decision. As Mom, you could throw down the hammer and demand a particular uniform be worn, but if at all possible, it’s best not to in this instance. What style costume one wears while dancing is a very personal matter, and you want your kid to be comfortable and happy about the class. Try to at least give two or three options to your child.

In Summation

Buying the ideal dance uniform for your child is not nearly as easy as it may sound, but searching online and starting with a well thought out plan as to what exactly you are looking for makes it a lot easier. Teaching money management to children is also an important factor, try to teach them about money management so they have not to face any difficulties in the future.

Posted in Kids

Extra-Tough Tech That Stays Safe in Little Hands

Posted on by Tim Connolly

Many modern gadgeteers have suffered the consequences of a phone drop, which frequently results in coming face-to-face with a cracked screen, scrambling for a bag of rice for drying maneuvers or even worse. There aren’t many things more maddening to someone who has just invested their earnings in something that has been visibly and functionally damaged.

Whether you have children that are likely to get hold of your devices, you have small hands yourself or you simply put your gear through the rigors of daily life or rugged athletic pursuits, you need gear, devices, and gadgets that are up to the task at hand, no matter how small those hands may be.

If you have been repeatedly frustrated, disappointed or flat-out devastated by devices that aren’t the right fit for your overloaded hands, take a look at three extra-tough options that, even if they don’t fit your hands perfectly, can take an occasional drop, bump or dip.

1. Bring Your Best Flash Drive

Sometimes leaving your laptop at home makes good sense when you know you will have easy access to a computer at your destination. However, like most of us, you need your files once you arrive. Just think of how light your bag will be! But have you ever tried to hold onto these things? Even though they are small, fitting easily into small hands, it is still tricky keeping them safe from the elements or simple drops.

Meet the handy and hands-friendly Corsair Flash Survivor flash drive, which offers incredibly rugged protection for your crucial files that you need at your fingertips. Encased in an anodized aircraft-grade aluminum housing, this flash drive is also waterproof to 200 meters.

2. Pick Up an Indomitable Smartphone

Today’s smartphones are often our lifeline to work, family, social functions and much more, so it is essential that we keep them up, running and fully functional. The trick is finding a brand, model and focus on the perfect combination of durability, function, and a fun, attractive and friendly design.

The Samsung Galaxy S8 may tick all the boxes to fill your sharp and durable smartphone needs, starting with its beautiful construction and brilliant 5.8″ display on the world’s first Infinity Screen. Enjoy the personal security of facial recognition that locks and unlocks with a single look. If you frequently find yourself precariously close to water, never fear, the Samsung Galaxy S8 has an IP68 water-resistance rating to keep your mobile safe from splashes, dunks, and dribbles.

3. Get a Solid Grip on a Rough and Tumble Phablet

You may need something extra tough for trips to the construction site and other spots where you may need to get a bit more down and dirty. The Panasonic Toughpad FZ-X1 is too small to be considered a tablet at 5″, but it is more than a smartphone. Either way, this hybrid piece that fits neatly into just about any size hands is true to its name, as it can easily survive a 10-foot fall onto concrete. The price tag on this device is just as steep, starting at $1,799, but if your work takes you to perilous places, it may be the right fit.

These technology offerings and others can help keep your gear in perfect working order, long past the warranty expiration. You can help your children to learn different things from the children’s books about economics and teach them about financial freedom and life lessons.

Posted in Kids

Help Keep Your Kids Safe Online

Posted on by Tim Connolly

While the internet can be a great place for kids to learn and enrich their minds, the online world can be full of dangers for young minds. Parents have enough to worry about as is, they don’t need to have to fret over the dangers of what their kids are being subjected to online. Thankfully, a keylogger could be just the thing necessary to protect kids and give parents peace of mind.

Online Dangers

These days, kids and parents alike have to worry about everything from cyberbullying and online predators to privacy issues and hacked webcams. There’s also the fact that kids can accidentally download more common online threats like malware and viruses. With so much to worry about, parents may be tempted to either never let their kids use a computer or tablet or feel they have to keep a close and constant watch over every move their son or daughter makes while online.

Using a Keylogger

Just like parents can hire a babysitter to watch their kids when they aren’t home, parents can also hire a virtual babysitter of sorts that watches over their kids while they’re online. Breaking it down, a keylogger is a computer program that logs every keystroke made on a computer or tablet. While such programs can be used for malicious purposes, such as recording passwords and other sensitive and private data, they can also be used by parents and employers to keep track of online activity. Employers can use a windows 10 keylogger to determine whether employees are wasting company time or potentially mining sensitive data.  

Some parents may wonder about the legality of installing a keylogger on their kids’ computer. As long as you own the computer, and as long as you have a relationship with the person you’re monitoring, you’re well within your rights to install a keylogger on the tablet or computer that your kids use.

What’s more, is that it’s up to you to decide whether to tell your kids that you’ve installed a keylogger on their device. This is a good opportunity to teach them about the many dangers lurking online and what they should do to stay safe.

The pcTattletale Difference

There are plenty of keylogger programs available, but not all of them are made quite like pcTattletale. For one thing, it’s quick and easy for parents to install the program, there’s no need to turn to a computer expert or an online tutorial. Another great thing about this particular keylogger is that it logs the keystrokes and records video of the screen. That means all keystrokes are recorded, rather than every other keystroke. Something else to think about is that even if kids aren’t typing anything, it doesn’t mean they aren’t doing something they don’t have any business doing online. pcTattletale is designed to give you full peace of mind, not just partial peace of mind.

Because kids often wait until their parents are out of the house or out of sight to get into mischief, this particular keylogger features mobile access. That means you can check in to see what your kids are doing online via your smartphone, tablet, or remote computer.

Kids may think they’re being sneaky and secretive by using passwords with certain accounts. pcTattletale can work around that when you make and login on a newly created Windows account on the computer or tablet you want to install the keylogger on. When you install the keylogger and sign out again, it will record all passwords entered on the device.

o determine whether pcTattltale is right for you, you can take advantage of a free trial. It offers limited features, but it should be enough to help you make a decision about whether to go ahead and purchase the full version.

No longer do you have to fear what your children may be accidentally exposing themselves to online. Install pcTattletale to keep them safe and help keep you calm. There are variety of popular children book series available and with the help of those books you can teach your kids about economics, money management, life skills and life lessons.

Posted in Financial freedom

How to Teach Kids about Money

Posted on by Tim Connolly

How to teach kids about money? Read on. One day I accompanied a friend of mine to the shopping mall, she had her 8 year old son with her. On reaching the mall she decided to buy herself some peace and gave her son some money to buy himself an ice-cream. She explained him the math that how much the ice-cream would cost him and that he should keep the change and maybe buy a chocolate later on.

We expected to be left undisturbed for some time but alas within minutes the boy was back. He wanted more money…. he threw the ice-cream he had bought as he was unhappy with the flavor and was not sure about what happened to the change. My friend was exasperated but she gave him the money nevertheless!

Parenting issues apart I realized that the kid had no idea that money was something that was important and was not free flowing. I looked at my friend and she said that he was just a kid and after all it was a very small amount. Amount is not important it is the habit which is!

There are two important takeaways from this incident

a) making the child awareness about the basics of money and

b) saving should not be a once a week/month activity but must be inculcated as a habit.

 How to teach kids about money

Here are a few pointers that can help you teach kids about money and saving money.

1. Make them Aware

As in the above example it seems that the biggest hurdle is the child’s unawareness about the basics of money. A child must be told that money is not free flowing and it is not endless; he/she must be told that there is a limited amount that we receive each month(at least most of us do) and one needs to manage with that amount.

These days with higher income and lesser number of kids parents may find it easy to fulfill the demands of their kids but it is important to remember that once in while you should say no. Try reasoning with them; you could tell them you already have remote controlled cars so you do not need another one or may be this month you have already bought a new racquet so the skates will have to wait for later.

You must also tell the child that the parents work hard for that money and it just does not grow on trees so everybody must be careful about the way they spend it. You do not have to miserly but just prudent!

2. Give them an Allowance

You can teach kids about money by giving them an allowance. This can be done once your child is a little older; giving them a fixed allowance every week or month is good way to teach them to save and prioritize. You should ensure that you give them a reasonable amount as pocket money it should not be too less or too much; you should ideally discuss this with your child before you fix it.

The key to making this work is that you explain to your child that he/she needs to make the money last the entire week/month so if he/she overspends in the beginning he/she will not be left with anything at the end of the period.

Also make sure that every time your child goes broke in the middle of the month you do not rush in to replenish his allowance. You could do that but maybe you could reduce the next month allowance.

Also give them constructive advice on what they could have done to avoid the situation. In the above example my friend could have told her son that he should have chosen the flavor of the ice-cream carefully and she should have gone back with him to the ice-cream stall to check about what happened to the change.

3. Have a Piggy Bank or Savings Account

Depending on the age of the child you could give him a piggy bank or open a savings bank account for him. Tell them to contribute regularly to the account or the piggy bank; this will help them in making saving a habit.

For the account you could show them a statement of their money growing and for the piggy bank you could just lift it to show them how heavy it is getting.

Occasionally you could also make a contribution to their kitty. Giving them a sense of ownership is a big boost too; a cheque book with your child’s name printed on it will give him/her a lot of kick. Most banks have attractive schemes for children’s account with colorful cards and cheque books and low minimum balance requirement.

4. Encourage them to Save

It is important that you encourage and not force your child to save. Give them a rationale why they should do it and show them what they could do with the saved pennies. You could say things like “with your saved money you can buy the new Barbie set for yourself” or you could say “you can buy grandma a surprise gift on her birthday”. Having a concrete plan will give them a sense of direction.

A piece of advice: On grandma’s birthday if the money is less or the child is little short of money for buying the doll set please do loosen your purse strings.

5. Be a Role Model

Wondering how to teach kids about money? Why not be a role model. Kids learn from their parents so you should walk the talk; when you go the mall you could refrain buying mindlessly.

Try telling them that though you love the pair of shoes but you will not buy them because you already have something similar or you could compare two bottles of the dishwasher and choose the bigger one as it proves to be cheaper in the long run.

6. Choose an Age Appropriate Plan

Make sure that you do not overwhelm your child with the idea of saving. The plan should be in sync with his/her age and should progress as the child grows older.

Start with a piggy bank, as they grow let them visit a bank with you and let them have their own savings account, a few years down the line let them withdraw money from their account up to a limit.

Asking a teenager to help you with your household expenses is a good idea. As they grow older they will want more freedom in their spending so let them have their space.

Conclusion – How to teach kids about money

To conclude I would like to say that saving is good but make sure that your child does not become so focused on saving that he/she forgets to enjoy his allowance. Also what they want to do with their savings should be left with them even if it appears to be irrational to you.

After all they are kids and they have all the right to be unreasonable and also make sure you do not come too harsh on them on this saving thing. Let kids be kids! Hopefully this tip on “How to teach kids about money” is put to practical use.

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