Tag: Parenting

When my twin sons were  7 years old, I saw a public service announcement on television that caught my attention. It encouraged parents to prepare kids to make healthy choices when they were teens by teaching children to make healthy decisions when they were younger, no matter what their age.

This made great sense to me. My job was to help my children learn how to responsibly manage increased freedom, and I needed to start by giving them greater freedom. I vowed to take this advice to heart.

First, I considered all the decisions and choices I was presently making for my kids. Were there any I could turn over to the boys to make for themselves? With this review I bumped into a sugar rule handed down to me from my mother. I had been following this rule since my own childhood, and both as a kid and an adult, I hated it. The rule? There would be no sweets until a well-balanced meal had been eaten; and only one sweet a day was allowed.

Should this rule be modified during Halloween and other sweet holidays? Do you know how many sweet holidays there are in a year? Almost every month there’s some sort of celebration that involves eating prodigious amounts of sugar. What about when Nana comes over for an unannounced, impromptu tea party that includes cupcakes and my children have already eaten their sweet treat at lunch? And when pancakes or waffles drizzled with syrup are served for breakfast, is that a meal or a sweet for the day?

I was now ready to implement my new strategy. Instead of being the sugar police, monitoring how much of it my children ate in a day, I was going to turn this responsibility over to them. After all, ultimately I wanted my children to mature into people who made good choices to support their own bodies. How would they learn what that meant if I was making choices for them rather than allowing them to (if they so chose) eat too much sugar and discover how lousy they felt? I wanted them to limit their sugar intake based on the feedback they got from their own bodies, rather than fear breaking one of “Mom’s rules.”

The process of teaching my children how to handle the additional personal responsibility of eating sugar was relatively simple. My courage was bolstered because I had just read a study proclaiming that children who were offered unlimited sweet treats and fruit and vegetables eventually chose to eat fruit and vegetables instead of sugar. The sugar binge was the first inclination of the children, but eventually the novelty of eating unlimited sugar wore off and better, more nutritious foods were chosen. Taking a leap of faith and with a large dose of hope, we began the great sugar experiment.

I told my sons that their dad and I no longer wanted to be in charge of how much sugar they ate. Instead we were asking them to tune into their own bodies to determine how much was enough and how much was too much. We cautioned them that there was a possibility the new policy of giving them total personal freedom to determine how much sugar they each ate could be tempered: If we observed either one needed more guidance, we would step in and help.

Amazingly, this experiment worked. There were only a few times when I asked one child, “Are you sure you want another piece of birthday cake?” or “Do you think one more handful of Nana’s M&M’s will feel good in your tummy right now?” On occasion, one son in particular would remind me that he was in charge of his sugar intake, not me.

They earned increased freedom by demonstrating responsible choices. If a child demonstrates through behavior and choices that he cannot handle greater freedom, parents need to step in and help the child learn.

I learned two important lessons from this experiment. First, when I was willing to give my children more control and freedom to make choices for themselves, they each experienced the consequences of their choices. Each learned how to make good choices, and learned self-discipline skills to avoid making poor choices.

When they became teens and were experimenting and tempted with cigarettes, alcohol and more dangerous substances, each child used his own body awareness and feelings to decide whether to go further down that unhealthy path or not. Simply knowing that using or abusing these substances was illegal and against his parents’ wishes may have contributed to each child’s decision to say, “No.” But the stronger, more important deterrent was knowing how their bodies felt when they made these unhealthy choices. It turned out the PSA advice was wise and accurate. The key to helping my children learn how to make healthy decisions was teaching them how to do so beginning well before they were adolescents.

I also learned that the first step to becoming a peaceful parent is to become a conscious parent. How many rules did I create and ask my children to follow simply because these were the rules I had grown up with? Did I like these rules? Did I agree with them? Just because my parents had rules that worked for them, did I want to keep following these same rules? Taking some time to consider, review and evaluate the rules I was setting for my children made me a conscious parent – and a better parent.

At the time of pregnancy, managing your wife’s emotions is a difficult thing because she needs more care and attention, if you want to learn more about it then please drop your comments in the comment section.

It takes time and practice for children to learn to manage their emotions and behaviour, just as it did for them to learn to walk, talk and feed themselves. They won’t always get things right as they build the skills to behave in ways that parents expect.

Some people think that punishing children will help them learn to do what is expected. However, positive approaches to guiding behaviour can benefit children’s development, keep your relationship strong, and lead to less challenging behaviour in the long run.

What drives children’s behaviour?

Children are born with a strong desire to connect with parents and caregivers, to please them and cooperate. This is because their survival depends on it.

They are also born with a strong desire to feel capable and learn to do things for themselves. They begin to use their will and a growing sense of themselves to explore and learn. They are like little scientists who get an idea in their head and learn how the world works by trying things out for themselves. Their behaviour can have a purpose that makes sense in their mind.

This natural curiosity and drive to become independent continues throughout their development. It often means children push against boundaries and limits which can be a challenge for parents. The child can be seen as ‘misbehaving’, naughty or defiant if the focus is on the behaviour itself rather than understanding the needs, thoughts, feelings or intentions that are driving it. Often challenging behaviour masks a child’s need to feel closer to you. They may not be aware of this or able to tell you.

It is important for parents to have clear expectations and boundaries that keep children safe as they learn. How these are communicated in the family can make a big difference to how children respond.

Studies also tell us that children:

• learn best when they feel safe and secure and have a strong bond with parents and caregivers
• need to feel a sense of worth and being capable
• strive to be in control of themselves and make their own choices
• have a natural desire to please parents and caregivers
• learn best when they are actively involved
• have better coping skills and wellbeing, and are more likely to achieve their goals when they are self-motivated rather than motivated by rewards and punishments
• do better in all areas of life when they have skills to manage their emotions and behaviour.

Using positive approaches doesn’t mean there will never be difficult behaviour or stressful situations but it provides a strong foundation for dealing with them.

About positive approaches

Positive approaches to guiding behaviour aim to meet the needs which can drive behaviour rather than just trying to change the behaviour itself. They are not an easy option or a ‘quick fix’, and are not about being permissive and letting children do whatever they want. It is about communicating expectations and guiding behaviour in ways that involve:

• taking a long-term view and aiming to raise children who are independent, self-motivated, responsible and get on well with others
• having clear family values and expectations and talking with children about the kind of family you want to be
• prioritising spending time with children and building your relationship
• putting in the effort every day to help your family work well
• being patient and consistent as children gain the skills to do what is expected. They will learn better if the other parent and key caregivers take the same approach as you
• responding to challenging behaviour calmly and in ways that:
  • build your connection
  • help children feel understood
  • address their underlying needs
  • involve children in finding solutions that work for both of you.

Positive approaches involve seeing children’s ‘misbehaviour’ as an opportunity to build their skills and strengthen your relationship, rather than a potential for upset or a battle.

Encouraging cooperation in your family

The way you interact with your children every day sets the scene for how you guide their behaviour.

Strengthening your relationship

A strong relationship that encourages cooperation is fostered when you:

• spend time with children to build your connection. Children need your attention because it shows them they really matter to you. It helps to spend time with them without screens or other distractions
• have routines which help children know what to expect
• role model the behaviour you expect of your children.

A strong emotional connection means children feel they can talk with you about their thoughts and feelings without fear of criticism or rejection. They are more
willing to cooperate and follow your guidance and to come to you for support or with problems.

Find ways to say ‘Yes’

Children often hear ‘No’ or ‘Don’t’ many times a day. This invites resistance and children can ‘tune out’. Finding ways to say ‘Yes’ makes ‘No’ easier to accept. It’s not about letting children have whatever they want but stating limits and boundaries in a calm and positive way.

For example, instead of saying: ‘No, you can’t have a lolly’, say ‘I know you love lollies and we have them on special occasions. This isn’t a special occasion, so let’s have something else’.

Help children build life skills

Give children lots of opportunity to learn skills and succeed. This builds their inner sense of worth, personal power and self-motivation. You could:

• give them meaningful jobs to do in line with their age and ability. This helps them feel needed and that they belong in your family
• let them do as much as they can for themselves but be ready to help when they need it. Ask how you can help rather than jumping in and taking over
• involve children in making decisions about everyday matters appropriate for their age and development ‘Do you want to wear your red shirt or blue shirt today?’ When children feel they have a choice they are more willing to cooperate
• involve children in finding solutions to everyday situations, eg how you can get ready on time in the morning. As children gain more skills, they can make a greater contribution. They are building problem solving skills for the future
• help them learn to deal with disappointment. Even when they understand reasons, children can still feel disappointed. Acknowledge their feelings and help them learn that all feelings pass
• support children to learn new activities and skills that interest them
• help them become self-motivated by:
  • encouraging their curiosity and efforts to meet a
    new challenge
  • fostering a sense of pride and satisfaction in their
  • competence
  • acknowledging their efforts
  • helping them have a sense of control over a situation
• use praise effectively by focussing on their efforts rather than the outcomes, eg ‘I can see how hard you worked on your project’, or ‘I really like the detail in your drawing’. General praise such as ‘You’re so clever’ doesn’t help them know what they did well.

There are variety of popular children book series available and with the help of those books you can teach your kids about economics, money management, life skills and life lessons.

A wide vocabulary is a good indicator of how well your child will perform academically, but how can you tell if they’re on track?

How many words does your child know? It’s fairly easy to tally them up when they’re just beginning to speak, but harder to calculate the size of their vocabulary as they hit school age and beyond.

What’s known, though, is that having a wide vocabulary sets your child up for life.

‘A child’s vocabulary is a big predictor of their future success,’ says Alice Penfold, Project Manager of the Words for Work programme at the National Literacy Trust. ‘It not only affects their chances of performing well in exams, but also their life chances.

‘For example, children who have a poor vocabulary at the age of five are four times more likely to struggle with reading as adults, and three times more prone to mental health issues.’

With this in mind, it’s well worth making an effort to build your child’s vocabulary. But how can you tell whether they know the right number of words for their age?

All children develop at different rates, so it’s impossible to say how many words your child ‘should’ know at a certain age. However, the figures below can be used as a guide.

Evidently, you’re not going to be able to count exactly how many words your child knows, but there are ways to gauge whether their vocabulary development is on track for their age.

1. Acquiring new words

Young children are like sponges, soaking up new words, and noticing your child using a greater range of words is a good measure of how their vocabulary is developing.

‘Children aged three to five can typically acquire four to six new words per day: a helpful benchmark of whether their language development is on track,’ says Alice.

2. Talking about the world around them

‘One of the best ways to tell if your child is developing vocabulary at the right rate is to listen to how they talk,’ explains Year 4 teacher Jack Phillips, who blogs about vocabulary at verbivore teacher.com.

‘Listen to how well they describe the world around them, and the range of words they use. Do they take an interest and talk about what’s going on? Are they willing to engage in conversation? How do they tell you about their day at school?’

3. Reading at the right level for their age

Take a look at books that are aimed at your child’s age group, and see whether they are able to read at this level.

‘It’s important to look at whether they’re taking in the information, as some children are very fluent readers but their comprehension isn’t at the same level,’ Jack explains. ‘Doing a bit of questioning about what they’re reading, such as asking them to sum up the last paragraph they read, will help you see whether they’re understanding the words on the page.’

Your child’s reading scheme level is a good indicator of whether they’re acquiring new words at the right rate, but also check out the books that children their age are reading for pleasure and see whether your child has a big enough vocabulary to access them.

4. Playing word games

A good test of your child’s vocabulary is to engage them in word games. Try thinking of words (hot, high, fast, bright etc) and challenging your child to tell you the opposite word (the antonym): they should be able to do this by the age of seven, or thereabouts.

Jokes are also a good way to see how your child’s vocabulary is developing. By 11, for example, they’re likely to have an understanding of how puns (jokes that exploit the different possible meanings of a word) work.

5. Reading and writing for pleasure

It stands to reason that if your child doesn’t have a good basic vocabulary, they’ll find reading and writing hard work.

‘Children who read for pleasure are 67% more likely to write at the expected level for their age,’ explains Alice. ‘If your child reads and writes purely for enjoyment, it’s a good indicator of their vocabulary.’

6. Test results

A reliable way to tell whether your child has the right vocabulary for their age is to look at their test results.

At the end of Year 2 and Year 6, your child will take SATs, and you will be told whether they are at or exceeding the expected level for their age. If they are ‘working towards’ the expected level in their English tests, it may indicate that their vocabulary could do with a boost.

7. Listening to their conversations

‘One of the best ways to tell whether your child has a good vocabulary is to overhear how they talk to their peers in the playground, on playdates or on sleepovers,’ says Jack.

‘They all develop at different rates, but are they using similar language to their friends? Can they talk about their emotions? These are good tests of their language acquisition.’ Money Management for children is also an important factor, try to teach them about money management so they have not to face any difficulties in the future.

You and your kids can look forward to exciting activities, including expert sharing sessions and workshops, exhibitions, an interactive urban garden as well as carnival booths.

Don’t miss these exciting activities at the MTL Symposium 2019:

1. Sharing sessions and workshops: Get expert tips:- Learn from the best. The event features a total of 40 sharing sessions and workshops for parents. Renowned education and curriculum experts, as well as celebrity parents, will share tips on cultivating a life-long love for MTL learning.

2. Discovery Land: Let kids flex their imagination muscles:- Your little ones are invited to immerse in an exciting discovery of their MTL through a series of interactive activities. Here, they get to role-play as explorers in an urban garden comprising a forest, a pond, flower maze and a fruit orchard.

3. Carnival: Complete the MTL Challenge to win attractive prizes:- Explore innovative ways to nurture your kids’ love for MTL at the booths set up by preschool centres, schools and community partners. Plus, you stand to win attractive prizes when they complete the MTL Challenge after visiting various booths and participating in the activities.

4. Creative Corner: Get ‘crafty’:- An area set up for you and your brood to get creative with cultural art and crafts that promote MTL learning in your daily lives.

5. Bookstore: Select resources on MTL learning:- Take your pick from a wide range of MTL learning resources, including books, CDs and picture cards.

You can help your children to learn different things from the children’s book series and they can learn about financial freedom and life lessons.

We understand your zest and that’s why here are few ways to embellish your kid’s world of colours.

Generally, children learn to identify colours by 18 months. They can name different colours by the age of 2.5-3 years. However, sometimes it can be frustrating for parents as teaching colours is not as easy as other activities, say like teaching numbers.

Why teaching colour seems complicated?

“Veronica can speak 1 to 10 and few alphabets, but when it comes to colours identification, whether I show her a blue object or green, he always defaults all objects as blue.” says the three-year-old’s mother Jeneliya.

To teach your toddler to identify a toy, shoes or names of the vehicles may seem less complicated than to teach colours as the latter is an abstract concept. Colour is a visual perceptual property of any object.

Teach with everyday activities

“You can start teaching colours to your toddlers at as early as two year. Toddlers usually love bright colours. Start teaching them the basic colours first: Red, green, yellow, blue. Let them understand the concept of these basic colours before you go beyond these four colours.” says Veronica, a child psychologist.

To stimulate these young brains is a tedious task and demands patience and creativity.

Here are 9 easy ways to teach colours to your toddlers:

1) Platter a colourful meal

“I involve my two-year-old in cooking and shopping at par with his age level. While cooking I usually keep few raw vegetables in front of my son. He loves to touch and play with different vegetables. When he asks me which vegetable that is, I say the name of vegetable with colour. Say, red tomato,” says Joseph. Wonderful, isn’t it?

Understand your child’s interest and use that way to teach him/her the new concepts such as colours as Joseph does.

As you serve different foods, introduce the food items with its colour.Like green vegetables, white rice, brown bread, red pepper, yellow lentil soup, etc.

2) Songs and rhymes

According to studies, there’s a strong influence of music in a child’s development. Get few DVDs of audio visual animated songs and rhymes teaching shades and watch them with your child. Cheer up your toddler by getting involved with him/her. Children tend to remember rhymes easily as it provides practical example at certain extent.

3) Compare identical objects

Your toddler is still learning new words every day. If you compare two different objects while teaching colour, you would make the process more complicated.

“It will be easier for a child to distinguish the colours of red ball and green balloon/ball than red ball and green sweater. Comparing two identical objects will make the differentiation between the colours more clear,” says , a preschool teacher at Little Diamonds School.

4) Games and puzzles

Other things that are close to children’s heart are games and toys. Get your child a few attractive and brightly coloured toys, puzzle games, alphabet blocks, colour matching and memory games etc.

If your toddler already has few of these, then pull those fun games out and let them play and explore their world of colours while even learning alphabets, numbers.

5) DIY colour books

How interesting would it be to give a modern touch to a traditional learning! Ask your toddler to collect the objects of the same colour and then ask him/ her to draw them in colour picture book.

You can even take the photo prints of the objects with same colour and ask your toddler to paste them in the do-it-yourself (DIY) book. Your kid will definitely love to see this self made book again and again.

6) Hand painting

Toddlers learn by touching various objects, more interestingly, of different colours. To enhance their sensory skills and creativity, engage your child in finger or hand painting. This will pull his/her attention to different bright colours and he/she will be more interested to learn them. You can use homemade finger paint, which is safe to use. 

7) Colour with crayons

“I let her pick the crayon of her choice and scribble with it on the paper, then label her choice with name of the colour while she is holding, feeling the crayon touch to the page,” says Oliver, a working mother.

8) Favourite dressings

“My son loves a red tee and blue pant. Whenever he points out at his favourite clothes, I always say him that even today you will wear the same red tee and blue pant. With repetition, he has learnt at least these two colours very easily,” says a mom, smiling.

Take an advantage of the ‘favourite dressing’ phenomenon of your child and tag his/her favourite dressing with names of their colours.

9) Get close to nature

“Whenever we are outdoors, my princess loves to observe various things and animals around and asks me bundles of questions”, says a friend of mine, Veronica, a coordinator at Little Scholars Preschool.

Getting closer to nature is another beautiful way to teach colours to your kid. You may introduce the colours of leaves, tree trunk, green grass, colourful butterflies, and various birds like green parrot, grey pigeon, and so on. Everyone has to maintain a financial budget and how much money should you save before having a baby, it’s difficult thing but you can learn about it just drop your comments in the comment section.